THE BINDER OF SHAME - totally true made up gaming stories

 

 

The RPG.net Rants

Uncensored, Unforgettable and Uncorrected

2002 was the year I first started to post stories for the amusement of others. (Aside from that shameful X-FILES fan fiction of course.) I began with these gaming anecdotes that I shared on the forums of RPG.net, a relatively safe haven for me at the time. They were strange little tales told in a kind of screenplay format that I used when I sketched out story dialogue.

The first one was pretty simple but as they went on they became more and more grandiose but they were raw and fun little bits of humor. I never bothered to proofread the things or set up any real kind of coherence or internal continuity- although snippets of these tales do show up in PRICE BEAKS AND HEARTACHES.

I'm posting them to the blog so I can add them to version of THE BINDER OF SHAME I keep here. I will do the first two today and then set up one a week until they're all there.

I've moved on a lot since I first created them but many of the folks that first came to know me through them are still reading my work now and they still keep finding new readers all the time.

If you have no idea what I am talking about prepare to be amazed, amused and offended.

And be warned these stories appear exactly as I did when I posted them on the forums. I haven't tried to edit them for fear of diluting their raw power.

Also I'm pretty damn lazy...

1.) The Team That Couldn't Shoot Straight

2.) The day I killed the entire party before the first combat encounter

3.) A Night At The Inn, A Day At The Racists

4.) The God Trip

5.) Achy Breaky Mythos

6.) Monty Python Mishaps In The Deepest Pit Of Homebrew Hell

7.) Kobayashi Maru With Random Violence and Supermodels

8.) What Do You Mean You Lost My Wife's Kidney?

9.) Never Leave Your Nads Behind

10.) Death By Thumbs

11) Night Of The Caped Cadavers

12.) Cannibals, Rednecks And Transgendered Astronauts

13.) Trapped In Jedi Academy

14.) Reservoir Torgs

15.) The Wrong Room In Ryleh

16.) The Great Gamma World Death March

17.) The Bad Rifts Project

18.) The D&D Session That Mostly Wasn't

19.) The Prequel Trilogy I: The Creep On The Boarderlands

20.) The Prequel Trilogy II: The Dead Guy Gets The Pizzas

21.) The Prequel Trilogy III: All Hands On Dec

22.) The Last Straw Trilogy Part One: Warhammer The Spoilers Generation

23.) The Last Straw Trilogy Part Two: Talisman- This Time Its Personal

24.) The Last Straw Trilogy Part Three: Once More With Filking

25.) Vampire The Mass Kid Raid: A postscript

The Binder of Shame 

The Second Edition

1.) The Dammed Treasure of Lord deGreasy
2.) Crisis On Infinite Jerks
3.) With A Pinch Of Assault
4.) The Good, The Bad And The Feces

 

The Binder of Shame 

  Unfinished Campaigns

 

Where The Hell Is Harry 

Maimed

STORIES IN THE KEY OF LOVECRAFT

THE OCEAN DOESN'T WANT ME

A singles cruise turns into a nightmare when a man wakes up alone and in pain, only to discover a terrifying truth lurking beneath the ocean's surface.

 

TROCHILDAE

A corporate executive ventures into the woods alongside an elderly man, intent on negotiating a land deal, only to uncover its hidden, forbidden secrets.

 

FOUND ON THE LAPTOP OF DOCTOR TODD BOOTH

Lost in the woods, a mysterious house reveals terrifying secrets and a sinister force that stalks its victims in the night.

 

SOUTHERN FRIED SHOKUSHU

A scam artist's get rich scheme goes awry when he purchases a mysterious creature from the internet.

 

FOOD, FOLKS AND FUN

It was the final late-night rush of customers that the closing crew at Burger Clown would ever have to face.

 

FOREVER TILL THE END OF TIME

A divorced man's ex-wife reveals a terrifying discovery that could grant them eternal life at a terrible cost.

 

WHAT ROUGH BEAST

A young primatology professor forms a bond with an experiment gone wrong and faces the consequences of her actions.

MARCIE DID YOU KNOW 

 Marcie's obsession with the unknown leads to her facing the consequences of what she always wanted.