I believe that this may very well be the EXACT MOMENT that puberty kicked in for me

But what does that say about me?


video from http://www.wonderland-site.com

5 Second Fiction Five Hundred and Forty Two

In his dream Sasha Grey was a guest on the Muppet Show. It brought new meaning to the term Gonzo Performance.

5 Second Fiction Five Hundred and Forty One

When he learned that she too had a love of auto-erotic asphixiation he was almost too choked up to speak.

5 Second Fiction Five Hundred and Forty

"Faith can change the world," Jason Magwier explained, "that's the terrifying thing about it."

WHEN IS EVIL COOL shares some images it will take years of therapy for me to forget!

And you should totally follow the site it is a lot of fun...

Celebrity Collage by MyHeritage

MyHeritage: Family tree - Genealogy - Celebrity - Collage - Morph

5 Second Fiction Five Hundred and Thirty Nine

Once again he failed to become an Internet sensation, another tale of heartbreak on the boulevard of broken memes.

5 Second Fiction Five Hundred and Thirty Eight

Tara's hopes for Barbados were dashed when the she saw the guests for the Fat Guys In Speedos convention begin to arrive.

5 Second Fiction Five Hundred and Thirty Seven

When fossil fuels ran out NASCAR tried to replace cars with lamas but it wasn't the same and the pits stops were disgusting.

5 Second Fiction Five Hundred and Thirty Six

Once he had dreamed women every night, now he only dreamed of donuts, his libido had taken a powder.

5 Second Fiction Five Hundred and Thirty Five

And her final words were, “Hey! I can see my house from here.”

5 Second Fiction Five Hundred and Thirty Four

When the Local Heroes fought the Carnival of Doom the battles were in tents.

5 Second Fiction Five Hundred and Thirty Three

And his final words were, “I was wrong... you don't look fat in those jeans.”

5 Second Fiction Five Hundred and Thirty Two

'Deathcloud' the ninja had turned his irritable bowel syndrome into a calling card of sorts.

5 Second Fiction Five Hundred and Thirty One

The challenge of being a serial killer working in tech support was tricking the callers into killing their pets.

(Recommended Reads) "Halloween sustains her" by elsapozu

Halloween was her favorite holiday.

When she was a kid, her costumes revolved around veils. If her parents had ever complimented her, they might have bragged about how creative she was this time of year. From “mysterious gypsy”, to “magical genie”, to “beautiful, but very, very shy bride” she was never at a loss for ideas. By their execution, you could see she took this holiday seriously – the seams were perfect and the accessories so credible, it was hard to believe you were looking at someone’s Halloween get up.

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5 Second Fiction Five Hundred and Thirty

Schrödinger's Tube allowed you to view videos of things that might have happened.

(Recommended Reads) "Sea Glass" by Shannon Esposito

Fiona heard Roger come home, recognized the soft thud of his suitcase tossed on the bed.
“Fiona? Where are you, Darling?” He joined her on their bedroom balcony, wrapping his arms around her and kissing the top of her head. “Of course. Out here listening to the whispers of the sea again?”
“Yes,” she said.
“I’ve brought you something back from Ireland.” He kneeled down in front of her...

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5 Second Fiction Five Hundred and Twenty Nine

Lots of employees have sex on the boss's desk but Gary and Melanie should have waited for him to go home first

5 Second Fiction Five Hundred and Twenty Eight

Chuck's secret for staying thin was what he called 'nature's candy' but what everyone else referred to as 'his own boogers'.

5 Second Fiction Five Hundred and Twenty Seven

There is a social networking site for Colonoscopy Addicts- it isn't exactly called 'Facebook'.

5 Second Fiction Five Hundred and Twenty Six

Captain Eagle of the Space Patrol was captured and brought to the torture planet of Agon-Y.

(Recommended Reads) " Faerie-led" by Laurita Miller

Gerald knew these woods. They were familiar to him. He knew every tree, every rock, every path. He also knew the stories, but he paid them no heed. There was nothing to fear in these woods. Bears and moose were plentiful, but they were wary of humans. He did not worry about losing his way among the trees and shadows. He certainly wasn’t concerned about the stories.

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(Reccomended Reading) Lightning Bug's Lair talks about 'Abbot and Costello Meet Frankenstein'

There are things that just go together in the Halloween season, caramel and apples, tricking and treating, or ghosts and goblins just to name a few. There’s another pairing that I always enjoy as All Hallows Eve grows closer, comedians Bud Abbott and Lou Costello with the Universal Monsters. By 1948, with the heyday of the 1930’s far behind, the classic monster movies had begun to grow stale. Universal attempted to capitalize all they could with an endless string of sequels, most notably House of Frankenstein and House of Dracula. As a last hurrah for the original big three (Dracula, Wolf Man, and Frankenstein), Universal paired the trio with popular comedians Abbott and Costello, radio stars who had been on a successful string of films throughout the forties...


click here to read the rest

5 Second Fiction Five Hundred and Twenty Five

The manager was short-staffed but his wife loved him anyway.

5 Second Fiction Five Hundred and Twenty Four

It always pained him that he was so scrawny he was always picked last, at least until the day the cannibals attacked.

(Recommended Reads) "The Lake" by Jim Wisneski

It was just a lake. Nothing more. Nothing less. The water was dark but that was because it was a lake. Just across the water there was a large group of trees, some standing tall and alive, others hunched over preparing for death. A few already had succumbed to the water. Some were twisted and contorted and leaning into the next tree. It looked scary but that was because it was a lake...

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(Recommended Reads) Red by Carrie Clevenger

I cleared away the debris so that you could breathe here in my space. I know you like to be able to stretch your legs from time to time. Are the bindings too tight?

click here to read the rest

(Recommended Reads) Organics by J. M. Strother

Lee Wen considered his options. Neither of them were good.

He was in no hurry as he walked through the park towards the tram station. No point in rushing anywhere, anymore. His sixtieth birthday, coming next Tuesday, marked the end of his career and all the benefits that came with it. No more housing. No more rations. No access to the tram, not that he'd have anyplace to go or anyone to see. Certainly no one would see him...

click here to read the rest

You like me! You really really like me!

My fellow writer and online bromance Darcknyt saw fit to give me the following award...



I am more than grateful.

And I have to say that as my 42nd birthday approaches (Ten days!!!!!) having finally found an outlet for my work has been the best present of all.

(Recommended Reads) High Feast by Maria Protopapadaki-Smith

Captain Drew boarded the transfer vessel to the Lauk-Parthians' ship with excitement. He had given up hope of humanity ever making contact with a peaceful extra-colonial race in his lifetime - he had certainly never expected to be the guest of honour at a banquet held by such a people. He nervously patted the front pocket of his dress uniform to check his speech tablet was there; he had practised delivering the speech for so long during the previous evening unit that he didn't really need the prompt, but he didn't like to take chances. It was such a momentous event after all - and indeed one that the First Minister of the Colonies herself would be attending instead of him, had she not been 12 parsecs away, orbiting Jupiter on Satellite A...

click here to read the rest

The Vault Of Horror introduces me to the work of Joshua Hoffline

Visceral Visonaries: Joshua Hoffine

I'm continuing the Visceral Visionaries series with someone whose work I've been really taken with of late. The stunning photography of Joshua Hoffine has been getting a ton of publicity lately, and I'm more than thrilled to contribute to it. Using primal childhood fears and fairy tales as a basis, he has crafted some of the most unforgettable imagery you'll ever see. Thanks to the delightful and twisted Vault Dweller Tammy Jones (a.k.a. 1twistedmind), I had an opportunity to meet with Joshua, and this interview was the result of that meeting...



After you've read the typically awesome article from VAULT OF HORROR be sure to stop by Joshua Hoffine's website.

Happy Birthday to my Sister In Law!

What better fate for a Lovecraft devotee than to have a marine biologist in the family?

5 Second Fiction Five Hundred and Twenty Three

The Cyclops Brothers Detective Agency always kept an eye out for crime.

5 Second Fiction Five Hundred and Twenty Two

Like many paranoids with delusions of godhood she had a natural proclivity for blogging and talk radio.

5 Second Fiction Five Hundred and Twenty One

In 2012 the Mayans revealed the whole calendar thing was just a plot to plague the world with bad movies.

5 Second Fiction Five Hundred and Twenty

In the end the Cheerleaders of the Wasteland decided the new girl's perkiness more than made up for her horrifying mutations.

Al Bruno's The Cheerleaders of the Wasteland by Chris Scheetz

Jim Wisneski's 'Not Today'

The red light lasted damn near forever. Normally impatient, Richie didn’t care. Normally, the steering wheel would have impending dents, a wave of obscenities would be rolling through the street, flooding everyone else’s ears around.

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5 Second Fiction Five Hundred and Nineteen

Commander Infinity could crush lumps of coal into diamonds, but he wouldn't because it was tantamount to socialism.

5 Second Fiction Five Hundred and Eighteen

Trapped on a ship full of creepy children and alien warlords Amazing Ed vowed to survive and sell the movie rights to his story.

Al Bruno's Amazing Ed by Chris Scheetz

John Wiswell's 'No Militaries In The Gay

In a radical reversal of roles, today the U.S. government banned the military from gays. War will no longer be allowed to be declared where there are any gay people, to avoid exposing soldiers to what one White House staffer called, “uncomfortable environments.”

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5 Second Fiction Five Hundred and Seventeen

Like all highly trained ninjas Psychotic Kid had to make sure never to pick his nose with his 'finger of death'.

Al Bruno's Psychotic Kid by Chris Scheetz

5 Second Fiction Five Hundred and Sixteen

Scientists learned to harness the power created by elderly people trying to use their computers and the energy crisis was solved.

5 Second Fiction Five Hundred and Fifteen

Karl entered politics dreaming of having the only presidential library with an extensive collection of cake farting videos.

5 Second Fiction Five Hundred and Fourteen

Many time traveling conspiracy theorists died trying to prove President Taft sank the Titanic to hide his birth certificate.

5 Second Fiction Five Hundred and Thirteen

To punish Brian for his strip club addiction he was sentenced to the 'death of a thousand lap dances'. He was pretty OK with that.

5 Second Fiction Five Hundred and Twelve

Rusty Johnson held the truck full of itching powder over his head knowing that things were going to get real ugly real fast.

Al Bruno's Rusty Johnson by Chris Scheetz

5 Second Fiction Five Hundred and Eleven

All during puberty his family kept the catbox in the bathroom, that's why the sent of kitty litter still gave him an erection

5 Second Fiction Five Hundred and Ten

Discovering that humanity was created as part of a cosmic open mic night did not drive her mad, learning the punchline did.

5 Second Fiction Five Hundred and Nine

The flavor packets included with most brands of instant noodles are in fact mummy dust, the reason this is done is unfathomable.

5 Second Fiction Five Hundred and Eight

Psychics revealed that the humidifier was haunted but Gary didn't mind, his sinuses had never felt better

5 Second Fiction Five Hundred and Seven

Lorelei grinned, "Mother said that heartbreak was the anvil that forged our souls- not the 'Facts of Life' talk I expected."

Al Bruno's Lorelei by Chris Scheetz

5 Second Fiction Five Hundred and Six

"That's the problem with sci-fi," Magwier said, "It tells us otherworldly beings will either be kind or cruel- the truth is worse."

Al Bruno's Jason Magwier by Chris Scheetz

5 Second Fiction Five Hundred and Five

Going from villaness to heroine was not easy but Doomsday Girl loved not having to worry about escape routes and master plans.

Al Bruno's Doomsday Girl by Chris Scheetz

5 Second Fiction Five Hundred and Four

The thing Captain Hero and his team dreaded the most about alien zombie invasions was was the post-crisis cleanup.

Al Bruno's Captain Hero by Chris Scheetz

5 Second Fiction Five Hundred and Three

"The spark of divinity is not so far removed from the flame of madness and most will never understand the difference."

5 Second Fiction Five Hundred and Two

There were songs he liked to make love to and songs he liked to drive to, none were longer than 5 minutes.

5 Second Fiction Five Hundred and One

The thumbless serial killer and the skull-faced woman had more in common than they thought.

The newly updated Al Bruno III catalog... (A View To A Shill)

IN THIS TWILIGHT
tales of lost gods and fragile transformations

This collection of 13 stories transports you to a world where both dreams and monsters lurk in the shadows, where love and forgotten rituals fight for control of the human heart, and where the madness of eternity can be glimpsed in a single segmented eye.

This anthology collects some of the best stories from Al Bruno III's website and includes the novellas 'Chad's Oracles', 'Fully Vested' and 'The Mask Collector', available for the first time anywhere.

IN THE MIDNIGHT OF HIS HEART
a novel of horror and obsession

To all outward appearances John Sig is just an old man living a quietly in an empty old house. His one pleasure is when he heads down to the local diner and visits with his favorite waitress Angie. When Angie disappears, John sets out to find her. For an ordinary old man that might seem like a foolish idea but John Sig isn't human, he's a monster living in the shadow of a nightmare thirty -five years old.

In The Pit

This is the comic book I wrote, that sadly it never made it past the first issue. Too bad I had envisioned a fantastic tale of serial killers, Canadian pro wrestlers and exploding toilets. Still though I think you might enjoying reading the first issue, it is still available as a PDF file. There are also some preview pages at the sight below.

Order away and weep for what might have been.



Some of my best work is available from the fine folks at Eden Studios. My contribution to their game lines has been mainly in the area of fiction. The rules and setting information was written by other very capable folks like Richard Dakan, CJ Carella, Jack Emmert, George Vasilakos and M. Alexander Jurkat. Believe me, they did all the hard work. If you are a fan of role-playing games or a fan of zombie movies then the books below are going to be right up your alley.

ALL FLESH MUST BE EATEN main rulebook

Enter the dark world of survival horror. The Dead walk among us. This role-playing game allows you to play in a world infested by the walking dead. The main rulebook includes rules for character creation, combat and everything else you need to play in a world of survival horror. Also detailed are the multiple campaign settings so you can customize the type of "deadworld" you wish to explore.232 pages.Hardcover.Cover Art by Christopher Shy.

Click here for ordering information

ZOMBIE MASTER SCREEN

A must-have reference for All Flesh Must Be Eaten, the Zombie Master's Screen is filled with charts and tables. From fear to weapons to outcomes, every reference that a prepared Zombie Master needs is packed onto a four-panel screen. The flip side of the screen scares and delights the players with full-color zombie images.
The Screen is packed with a 48-page booklet, including a ready-to-run adventure introducing the Cast Member to the horrors of a zombie plague, and pregenerated characters with complete bios, statistics and resource information.
Cover Art by Christopher Shy and George Vasilakos.

Click here for ordering information

ENTER THE ZOMBIE

Written by Richard DakanThe first supplement to All Flesh Must Be Eaten opens whole new vistas for a walking dead campaign. This tome brings together the thrills of Hong Kong action films and the excitement of flesh-craving horror. The match of these two genres may not have seemed obvious at first, but the pleasures that arise from it are undeniable. After all, zombies and Hong Kong style action make a perfect fit. What better match is there for a relentless series of lightning kicks and a hurricane of bullets than a target that can’t die? The pulse-pounding danger just never stops. Besides, what martial arts master worth his salt doesn't ache for the ability to use his own intestines as a deadly whip? For the undead, no problem!Softcover.Cover Art by Christopher Shy.

Click here for ordering information

TERRA PRIMATE

Written by Al Bruno III, CJ Carella, David F. Chapman, Patrick SweenyBased on the original concept by George Vasilakos and Ross IsaacsEdited by M. Alexander Jurkat, David F. ChapmanCover art by Jeff ReitzInterior Art by Storn Cook, Thomas Denmark, Talon Dunning, DW Gross, Jon Hodgson, Chris Keefe, Jason Millet, Matt Morrow, James Powers, Gregory Price, George Vasilakos
From the creators of All Flesh Must Be Eaten, similar in style but this time . . . with apes! Terra Primate has no specific setting. The only constant is the concept of intelligent apes. Planet of the Apes is a movie about intelligent apes, but then again so is Congo. As long as the characters are interacting with intelligent apes -- or are intelligent apes themselves! -- the game could be set in the pulp era of adventure, on a post-apocalyptic Earth, on a faraway alien planet, or downtown on Main Street.
The main rulebook includes rules for character creation, combat and everything else you need to play in a world where man is the missing link! Also detailed are the multiple campaign settings so you can customize the type of "Apeworld" you wish to explore.

Click here for ordering information

IN THIS TWILIGHT: tales of lost gods and fragile transformations

This collection of 13 stories transports you to a world where both dreams and monsters lurk in the shadows, where love and forgotten rituals fight for control of the human heart, and where the madness of eternity can be glimpsed in a single segmented eye.

This anthology collects some of the best stories from Al Bruno III's website and includes the novellas 'Chad's Oracles', 'Fully Vested' and 'The Mask Collector', available for the first time anywhere.

That's right I've got another book available for you folks out there. Now I will be honest and let you know that about 40% of the stories in this new anthology are available for you to read here and on my web page.

For now anyway but as new material keeps piling up those stories will become available in book form.

The new novellas are all new and have never been seen before, and I think if you like the material on here you'll enjoy them a lot.

If you get it let me know what you think of it.