Saturday, April 16, 2011
Friday, April 15, 2011
Troll Hunter is not a perfect film, but it’s a very entertaining film. It rises above the “point of view” nature of the filming, thanks in part to the fact that much of it is a satire of the style — albeit an extremely dry, straight-faced satire, which is the best way to go about such things. If you have to draw attention to the fact that you’re being satirical via the use of overt winks at the camera, you have failed as a satirist. Apart from that, though, it also succeeds because, for once, the film student “found footage” that comprises the movie looks like it was shot by actual film students — you know, people who are trying to set up and properly frame a shot while holding the camera steady, instead of every single frame looking like it was filmed with the camera strapped to one of those vibrating machines that was supposed to help fat people in the 1970s jiggle off their weight. There’s still more of the “flail the camera wildly as we all run in terror” shots than I’d like, but there are a lot less than usual, so I guess that’s something...
Alexander Hedges was a man of particular and discerning taste. He went to the same barber every other week, to the same restaurant on the weekends. He ordered the same food, and if it came out cooked poorly, Alexander was not a timid man. He would call the waiter aside and in no small terms illustrate to him what had gone wrong, and how he supposed it should be fixed.
With him, Alexander took things that he held dear to him. The same black leather gloves he’d carried since he’d gotten them on his thirtieth birthday, twenty years ago; his stingy brim bowler, grey; and most importantly his friend and companion, known only and famously as Smits...
“What do you mean you’ve booked it all?” she said worriedly.
“Its booked!” he exclaimed, a smile on his face and an excited look in his eyes.
“But, well I thought. I’m not sure what I thought,” she said trying her hardest to not ruin his happiness.
“I overheard you talking to Ellie on the phone. You said you wanted the big white wedding. A church; a princess dress; a limousine or even a horse and cart. The day of your dreams you said. So, I’ve made it happen, now there’s not many blokes that would do that!” he beamed...
I’m sure I know the guy opposite me on the train. Only problem is, I can't remember how or why.
I pretend to read my book, but I sneak a look over the top of the pages. He has straight hair the colour of wet sand – straight except for the random kink just behind his right ear. He looks to be in his late twenties, but the cluster of spots around his mouth make him look like a gawky teenager. He fiddles with his phone, sliding his finger across the screen with merry abandon...
It was a convention of the world's greatest allergy sufferers- the phlegm de la phlegm.
Amazing Ed was on patrol! His resolve was steely! His muscles were honed! His fly was open...
Just as the fruit stand vendor was about to leave the young Bob Dylan shouted “Hey Mr. Tangerine man!”
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Space Trucking originally by Deep Purple - Deep Purple drummer Ian Paice has performed the drum part. Johnny Winter is on guest guitar.
She Blinded Me With Science originally by Thomas Dolby - Bootsy Collins is on as the guest bassist. Patrick Moraz (ex Yes and Moody Blues) is guesting on keyboards/synth.
In a Little While originally by U2 - Manuel Gottsching from Ash Ra Tempel has added guitar.
Empty Glass originally by The Tea Party - Michael Schenker (UFO/Scorpions) has added guest guitar.
Lost in the Stars as done by Frank Sinatra - Jazz legend Ernie Watts is on guest saxophone.
Twilight Zone originally by Golden Earring - Warren Haynes (Gov't Mule/Allman Brothers) is on guest guitar.
Space Cowboy originally by Steve Miller - Country artist Brad Paisley has added guitar and vocals.
Rocket Man originally by Elton John - Guitarist Steve Hillage (ex Gong member and current member of techno rock duo System 7) has added guest guitar
Space Oddity originally by David Bowie - Ritchie Blackmore (ex-Deep Purple) has added guest guitar. Alan Parsons is adding guest keyboards.
Spirit in the Sky originally by Norman Greenbaum - Peter Frampton has played guitar on this track.
Bohemian Rhapsody originally by Queen - John Wetton from Asia has played bass and done a vocal.
Silver Machine originally by Hawkwind - Wayne Kramer from the MC5 is adding guitar and Carmine Appice (Vanilla Fudge/Rod Stewart) is adding a guest drum part.
Major Tom originally by Peter Shilling - Nick Valensi, the guitarist from the Strokes has added guest guitar to this this track. Also Zakk Wylde (ozzy osbourn, black label society) and Mike Inez (Alice In Chains)have contributed to this track.
Learning to Fly originally by Pink Floyd - Edgar Froese from Tangerine Dream has played guitar and keyboards on this track.
Mr. Spaceman originally by The Byrds - Dave Davies from the Kinks has added guest guitar on this track.
Iron Man originally by Black Sabbath - Zakk Wylde (ex Ozzy guitarist) played guitar and did a vocal on this track.
Planet Earth originally by Duran Duran - Steve Howe, guitarist with Yes, played guitar on this track.
Walking on the Moon originally by The Police - Toots of Toots & the Maytals has added a guest vocal.
Mrs. Major Tom - female singer to add a track -To be announced.
And in honor of this...
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Gary awoke to discover the mad scientist had grafted his penis to his forhead. Gary thought that it was a real dick move.
After his 3rd night of celebacy he decended into the kind of frenzied stroking you only saw when meth-heads visited a petting zoo.
As the first roller coaster to simulate a divorce it would flip its riders upside-down and shake all the change from their pockets.
Redneck Cyborg Rusty Johnson indulged himself with an expensive coffee and then regretted it. It always left him feeling wired.
“Frustration over finding macbook parts was no exceuse for demanding the pretty clerk at the Apple store give him a little screw.”