Saturday, May 5, 2012

(Recommended Reads) 'Skinwalkers' by ahman505

As a young man, my father spent some time living on the Navajo Indian Reservation in the Four Corners area. He and his buddy lived alone in a trailer that overlooked a ravine several miles away from Navajo Mountain. It wasn’t uncommon for he and his friend to hear drums coming from the mountain at night. The locals told them not to go out after dark when the drums were playing because the witches were on the mountain and would try to harm them. My father broke his leg and soon found himself confined to the lonely trailer...


click here to read the rest

(Recommended Reads) "Talent Show" by Left-Hand-Path

"Very good, Blanco," I said, praising my subject. I held up another card, this one with a picture of a Bengal tiger on it. He leaned closer, and I could hear his eyes focus more precisely on the card. He seemed to be processing it, and then said, "It is an image of a tiger."

"Very good," I repeated. I continued to hold it up. "Can you tell me what kind?"

"I do not understand the question," Blanco replied.

"What specific type of tiger is this?"

Blanco blinked twice, then sat back to think, his eyes cutting from the card to me and then back again. "It would appear to be a Bengal tiger," he said, and then elaborated, probably quoting Wikipedia as he is wont to do, "The Bengal tiger (Panthera tigris tigris) is a tiger subspecies native to the Indian subcontinent that in 2010 has been classified as endangered by IUCN. The total population is estimated at fewer than twenty-five hundred individuals with a decreasing trend, and none of the Tiger Conservation Landscapes within the Bengal tiger's range is large enough to support an effective population size of 250 adult individuals..."

click here to read the rest 

(Recommended Reads) 'Doppelgänger' by Kathryn Eastman

“Don’t I know you?”

She’d heard him perfectly well but looked up and said, “I’m sorry?”

He shifted in his seat. “I was just saying, I thought I knew you. You look familiar. I’m sure I’ve met you or seen you somewhere before…”

She half-smiled, dipping her head down a fraction. “We have? You know, I can’t place you, sorry.
It’s possible but I don’t think so...”

to read the rest click here

Friday, May 4, 2012

(Insane Yet Heartwarming News) Woman changes her name to... to... Wow... just wow...

From BBC news

Dawn McManus, 41, promised to change her name to encourage fundraising for her charity, Red Dreams, which was set up after the death of her son.

She believes her new name - including the charity's name and people it has helped - could be the world's longest...

...The former Mrs McManus is now called Red Wacky League Antlez Broke the Stereo Neon Tide Bring Back Honesty Coalition Feedback Hand of Aces Keep Going Captain Let's Pretend Lost State of Dance Paper Taxis Lunar Road Up Down Strange All and I Neon Sheep Eve Hornby Faye Bradley AJ Wilde Michael Rice Dion Watts Matthew Appleyard John Ashurst Lauren Swales Zoe Angus Jaspreet Singh Emma Matthews Nicola Brown Leanne Pickering Victoria Davies Rachel Burnside Gil Parker Freya Watson Alisha Watts James Pearson Jacob Sotheran Darley Beth Lowery Jasmine Hewitt Chloe Gibson Molly Farquhar Lewis Murphy Abbie Coulson Nick Davies Harvey Parker Kyran Williamson Michael Anderson Bethany Murray Sophie Hamilton Amy Wilkins Emma Simpson Liam Wales Jacob Bartram Alex Hooks Rebecca Miller Caitlin Miller Sean McCloskey Dominic Parker Abbey Sharpe Elena Larkin Rebecca Simpson Nick Dixon Abbie Farrelly Liam Grieves Casey Smith Liam Downing Ben Wignall Elizabeth Hann Danielle Walker Lauren Glen James Johnson Ben Ervine Kate Burton James Hudson Daniel Mayes Matthew Kitching Josh Bennett Evolution Dreams...

In honor of STAR WARS day here are 2 chicks in wet t-shirts fighting over who gets to wash Chewbacca's junk...

Seth Green is livin the dream I tells ya...



5 Second Fiction Two Thousand and Seventy Nine

After being struck by lightning Count Dracula had a near-life experience.

5 Second Fiction Two Thousand and Seventy Nine

After being struck by lightning Count Dracula had a near-life experience.

5 Second Fiction Two Thousand and Seventy Eight

Joe's new sports car was bluetooth enabled so he could call his friends to tell them he was coming by to show off his new car.

5 Second Fiction Two Thousand and Seventy Seven

They added an adult video kiosk to the mens big and tall shop because after buying XXX sized pants you might need a XXX rated film.

5 Second Fiction Two Thousand and Seventy Six

Teddy was the first DJ to use a kitten on his turntable but soon enough everyone had cat scratch fever.

5 Second Fiction Two Thousand and Seventy Five

When faced with the choice between Jesus or a British Sci-Fi show Derrick knew what choice to make. After all DOCTOR WHO came back.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Previously on Route d'abbaye

RETROSPACE takes a look back to an era when cartoons were only on Saturday mornings!



One recollection I am grateful for, however, are those wonderful Saturday mornings.  Unlike today, where children's cartoons literally play all day long seven days a week.... on multiple channels.  It's hard to imagine that, once upon a time, there were just a few hours a week on TV that were reserved for kids. For those brief moments, it was just you in your footie pajamas, a bowl of Count Chocula, and Speed Buggy. It simply didn't get much better than that...




The Nick Of Time (and other abrasions): Route d'abbaye Track Thirteen - She Came In Through The Bathroom Window

The Nick Of Time (and other abrasions)

Route d'abbaye

Track Thirteen

She Came In Through The Bathroom Window


Al Bruno III

Pam, out of uniform and in manacles, rolled down the stairway into the Sallow Sultan's parlor. Mustard got out of the way moments before she collided with his tea table sending scalding water and priceless china flying everywhere. His polythene and rubber dressed whores went scrambling for safety. His six crash helmeted and leather diapered security guards rushed to shield him with their shaven bodies.

“What is ...this?” Mustard shouted at the trussed up girl, “What ...have you done?”

“Mmmmph mmmmph mmmmph!” was her only reply.

The old pimp retrieved his wooden cane from the floor and shouldered past his bodyguards. He pulled the ball gag away from her mouth, stretching its elastic straps out as far as they would go, “Who did this you?”

“Some crazy girl!” Pam said, “She knocked me out!”

“Crazy? Girl? Of ...course!” Mustard’s eyes narrowed, “How did ...she get in here?”

“I think-” Pam paused to catch her breath. “She came in through the bathroom window.”

A scream echoed from upstairs. Then four gunshots. Mustard released the ball gag letting it snap back into the bound woman’s face. She yelped with pain.

The bodyguards surrounded him again as another girl came barreling down the stairs. She was wearing a stolen uniform with no mask.

“Get her!” Mustard ordered.

Two of the guards charged the intruder. She tried to kick them only to have the stiletto heel of her boot break. She slipped to the floor, landing an arm's length from Pam.

“Fucker!” Jack Diamond blundered down to the landing. He was wearing his boxer shorts, the jacket for his seersucker suit and nothing else. His eyes were watering and swollen, his tears smelled like after dinner mints. He was brandishing a huge pistol. Everyone dove for cover at the sight of it.

The Desert Eagle thundered. One of the guards went down, his face reduced to a pulp, his helmet cracking in all directions like a hatching egg.

The gun thundered again, the bullet leaving a crater of gristle where Pam’s chest had been. Her heart was visible and it shivered momentarily like a dying animal.

If the intruder girl noticed the gore that splashed down the left side of her body she didn’t react. Her hands moved like predatory birds cutting the Sign of Vulnavia into the air. A flash of light erupted from her palms knocking Jack Diamond over the balustrade.

Mustard had had enough. He swung his cane like a bat striking the girl on the back of the head. She crumpled.

The empty handgun clicked impotently. Jack Diamond clambered back to his feet, he was screaming and cursing wildly, it sounded like he was speaking in tongues.

“Stop!” the old pimp cried, “I’ve dealt... with her. Please calm down!”

There was a grunt as the intruder girl started to get up. Jack Diamond threw his Desert Eagle catching her on the side of the face, knocking her back out. Knees shaking he sat down on the lowest rung of the carpeted stairs and groaned, “Sweet fucking fuck.”

No one spoke. The odor of blood and gunpowder hung in the air. Everyone that was still alive and conscious felt their ears ringing.

“Who...” Mustard asked, “...who is this person?”

“Lorelei Miller.” Jack Diamond rubbed at his eyes, practically clawing at them, “Daughter of the Grand Pontiff of the Greater Eastern Council of Mystagogues.”


“And she’s a fucking dead woman.”

“Ah,” Mustard looked around, trying to assess the damage; bullet holes, blood stains, a broken mirror, a one hundred year old tea set shattered beyond repair, his autographed picture of Frankie Howerd ruined. This is it. He decided, I quit.

He rounded on his surviving employees, “What are you all ...doing just sitting around? Get to your rooms and start ...packing! You’re ...all fired!”

No one reacted.

“Do you hear me?” His scream was more of a squawk, “Fired!”

The surviving girls ran and after a threatening snarl from Mustard the guards did too. Lorelei Miller stirred again, pulling herself up, trying to crawl. Mustard stamped a foot down on one of her hands and pressed.

“Sonofabitch!” Lorelei shouted.

“No more ...spells for you.” '

“Dead. You're dead,” Jack Diamond stood and started patting his jacket. “Where's my knife?”

“What'samatter Jack?” Lorelei's face was bloodied and bruised but her eyes mocked him, “Can't find your little prick?”

His hands closed around the switchblade and he pulled it free with such force it tore the pocket of his jacket apart. Spare change, a condom and the red phial dropped to the floor. “I'm gonna carve you like a fuckin' turkey! No! Worse than a turkey! They turkey’s are gonna thank their turkey gods they aren’t you!”

“Oh come now Jack,” a familiar voice rang out, “do you really think I’m going to let you do such a thing?”

Jason Magwier was sitting in the club chair beside the fireplace, he was covered with soot and dust. He fiddled with an ugly looking pocket watch.

“By the Monkey King’s ballsack...” Jack Diamond said.

“You must have heard by now,” Magwier put the watch away and flashed his Cheshire grin. The grime coating his face made his dark eyes glitter all the more, “Members of your family are being killed all across the city.”

“And I had nothing to do with it damn you!”

“Well I knew that.”

“Why... Why...” Mustard kept finding his voice and losing it again. He realized he had been set up, maybe they all had been set up by the man sitting in the plush antique chair, “What are you ...doing here?”

Magwier shrugged, “Oh, just waiting for the door to go flying off it's hinges.”

And a heartbeat later the front door of the Sallow Sultan came crashing down.

Click Here To Continue

Project Rooftop brings us Ben Bates take on THE NEW CRUSADERS



Note: Last summer when Archie Comics announced it was retooling its superhero line after the lackluster outing over at DC, we here at Project: Rooftop were excited at the possiblities. And now as the launch date nears and art’s started to trickle out, we’re even more excited. The series writer Ian Flynn was interviewed last month on iFanboy, and in that post they shared the best look yet at Ben Bates‘ redesigns for the “Red Circle” heroes...




Wednesday, May 2, 2012

LOVECRAFT eZINE gives us color commentary on the film DIE FARBE!

Just in case you don’t “Sprechen sie Deutsche”, the title of this independent, feature length film translates into THE COLOUR. Can you guess what HPL story it is based on? That’s right, it’s “The Outsider.” Ha, just kidding, I’m talking about Lovecraft’s personal favorite of all his own stories; “The Colour Out Of Space.” You know, the most filmed of any of H.P. Lovecraft’s tales. What, you don’t believe that? Well there was 1965’s DIE MONSTER DIE staring Boris “don’t call me Frankenstein” Karloff. 1987 saw another telling of this tale called THE CURSE staring Wil “don’t call me Wesley” Wheaton. But wait, it doesn’t stop there. Last year we got an Italian version called COLOUR FROM THE DARK and now we get this German import. So how does this new film compare to all those other Colour flicks?
Simply put, it blows them all away...

Do you dare glimpse into F. Borja's LOVECRAFT'S SECRET ARCHIVES?

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

The bad news: We live in a cold uncaring universe. The good news: KATE UPTON DANCING IN A BIKINI!!!!!

It's like I'm 44 going on 13!

Monday, April 30, 2012

(Insane News) Nympho kept victim captive for 36-hour forced sex session


Found on


A GERMAN nymphomaniac arrested after forcing a man to have sex with her eight times has struck again - this time keeping her victim on the go for a staggering 36 HOURS.


The woman met her latest victim, a 31-year-old African man, on her way home from a sex addiction clinic in Munich.


She invited him back to her flat where she kept him hostage and forced him to satisfy her sexual demands.


The victim eventually managed to break out of the apartment after his attacker fell asleep. He was later found weeping on the street by police.


He fought back tears to tell them: “I met her on a bus. She invited me back here. It was hell. I can’t walk. Please help me.”...


To read the rest of this thrilling article click here.