Tuesday, July 22, 2014

(Recommended Article) 'The Creature Wants Our Women!' by Yeoman Lowbrow


Whether it be giant gorilla or mutant zombie, there’s just something disconcerting about when a monster gets all hot and bothered over a human female. There’s nothing cute about a reptilian humanoid’s insatiable lust for our women. Yet, it happens again and again in old movies: these hideous creatures could care less about their own kind; but when it comes to human ladies, their attraction knows no bounds.

Of course, the Beauty & the Beast scenario has been a part of our mythology and folklore for ages. Aphrodite & Hephaestus, Persephone & Hades… we could even go back to Enkidu & Shamhat in the The Epic of Gilgamesh. More recent examples in literature: Quasimodo & Esmeralda, The Phantom of the Opera & Christine,.. we could go on all day. The trope has been so persistent because it tells a very human story: that women can redeem men, who are by nature brutish and animalistic. So, it’s only natural that this tale would transition from literature to the big screen.

So, what’s the problem? The cinematic creatures less resemble beasts in need of true love’s redemption than stalkers with a crush. Let’s take a look at a few varieties of these Creature Feature Casanovas...