Saturday, April 28, 2012
(Insane News) man goes to dentist that happens to be his ex-girlfriend
A dentist pulled out all her ex-boyfriend’s teeth after he dumped her for another woman – who has now left him because he is toothless.
Anna Mackowiak, 34, is facing jail after taking her revenge on 45-year-old Marek Olszewski when he turned up at her surgery with toothache just days after breaking up with her.
She gave him a heavy dose of anaesthetic and plucked his teeth out...
Friday, April 27, 2012
(Insane News) "Obiwan Kenobi Arrested In Roseville Hit-And-Run"
Jedi-mind tricks apparently weren't enough to keep Obiwan Kenobi out of the Placer County Jail.
Roseville police said that over the weekend they arrested a 37-year-old with the same name as the Star Wars character on suspicion of hit-and-run causing injury. Kenobi was also wanted on an unrelated charge of petty theft, authorities said.
Kenobi was arrested in connection with a five-vehicle crash that took place March 19 at Fairway and Rosehall drives...
(Insane News) Man Sues BMW for Causing Persistent Erection
The civil suit, filed in the Superior Court of California in San Francisco, alleges the plaintiff, Henry Wolf, developed a severe case of priapism after a long ride on a 1993 BMW motorcycle. Priapism is a medical condition where a penis becomes erect and does not return to a flaccid state.
Wolf claims he rode the motorcycle on a four-hour trip – two hours each way – on May 1, 2010. Soon after, the man claims, he developed a case of priapism. He blames the condition on the motorcycle seat which is describes as “ridge-like”.
The man claims the condition caused emotional distress..
5 Second Fiction Two Thousand and Seventy Five
“The fire hydrant smells like blood and urine,” Jason Magwier paused, “this is the mark of the vampire.”
5 Second Fiction Two Thousand and Seventy Four
An alien hellbeast burst into the libraries' periodical room and devoured everyone therein. Truly it was a Reader's Digest.
5 Second Fiction Two Thousand and Seventy Three
Alligator Joe was the world's greatest wetland and marsh explorer. He had so much work, that he was always swamped.
5 Second Fiction Two Thousand and Seventy Two
Greg got his purity band five sizes too large so it could double as a cock ring.
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Previously on Route d'abbaye
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
5 Second Fiction Two Thousand and Seventy One
Several circus performers caught a bad case of VD from Lola the fire eater. If only she had noticed that burning sensation.
5 Second Fiction Two Thousand and Seventy
She married Ted so she could get medical coverage, Ted married Julie for her dental plan. It wasn't love, just friends with benefits.
5 Second Fiction Two Thousand and Sixty Nine
He found her 'G-spot'. She made her 'O-face' and screamed the 'F-bomb'. They were both arrested for doing it on the 'L-train'
5 Second Fiction Two Thousand and Sixty Eight
He told himself he wasn't getting fat his clothes were shrinking. It wasn't so easy to tell himself that his car was shrinking too.
5 Second Fiction Two Thousand and Sixty Seven
In the future laws were passed to give poorly constructed robots the status of personhood because life begins at contraption.
5 Second Fiction Two Thousand and Sixty Six
The young wizard had a one night stand with a tree spirit, he never did it again because he couldn't get the sap out of the sheets.
5 Second Fiction Two Thousand and Sixty Five
Karl didn't return his library books late because he was a slow reader, he did it because angry librarians turned him on.
Second Fiction Two Thousand and Sixty Five
Great superhero teams had great battle cries, the battle cry of the Local Heroes was “Remember where we parked!”
(Insane News) "Teen Driver Shoots Flare Into Own Car, Police Say"
Police said the two cars were driving north on Interstate 93 toward Bow when 18-year-old Nicholas Richer pointed a flare gun out of the window at the other driver. Investigators said Richer fired the flare into his own car as he was pulling the gun back in the window.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Monday, April 23, 2012
PLAID STALLIONS calls this kid 'Baron Von Beatings'. Can you guess why?
Yowch! How did us kids even survive the 70's?
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