Thursday, July 30, 2009

The Only Good Movies Blog 'Top 100 Movie Killers'

The Only Good Movies Blog sent me a little heads up about their 'Top 100 Movie Killers' list.

They were kind enough to mention me mentioning JOHN CARPENTER'S THE THING when I was talking about the movie BIO SLIME.

And it is a good list they've got over there but I would have to debate that The Tall Man from PHANTASM is more of an alien than a supernatural menace.

Nice to meet you Good Movies Blog!

5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Seventy

It was his life's dream to become a cagefighter but he started small by getting into shoving matches in gazebos.

5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Sixty Nine

Working nights for meager pay in a bad neighborhood sure wasn't Cal's dream come true- but being a DJ in a strip club was.

5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Sixty Eight

The longer she drove the stranger the landscape became and while the voices on the radio became more familiar.

5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Sixty Seven

“It's not that I want the Albany division to perform better,” Bob said, “I just want to be able to do a half-assed job too.”

5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Sixty Six

Gary had almost talked his way out of the speeding ticket when the patrolwoman realized he was staring at her mustache.

5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Sixty Five

Time travel led to the discovery of parallel universes- which was a boon to swingers clubs. The term do-over gained new meaning.

5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Sixty Four

Finally at age 40 Sherrie realized why bad things happened to good people. God was too busy folding laundry.

5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Sixty Three

The police chased his car for almost an hour. He wouldn't stop until he reached the end of the audiobook.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

YOGA the horror film? Why the Hell not?

The blog Paracinema has just blown my mind with this teaser trailer for the Korean horror film YOGA.

So it has hot chicks stretching AND its a horror film?

Count me in...

Assuming the gods of free time and disposable income are merciful.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

"wHaT aRe yOu DoInG hErE?"

Let's all thank Horror's Not Dead for pointing out that Session 9 one of the great modern horror films is watchable for free on HULU.

My missus is a big time Hulu addict. I sadly am too busy blogging to do such things...

In The Shadow Of His Nemesis chapter twenty two


Thursday November 14th 1996

When Galen returned to Laurel House Jack Waterford was waiting for him. The tall, thin man was wearing a tool belt and had his shoulder-length blonde hair tied back with a bit of string. “Repairs?” Galen asked.

“Upkeep.” Jack replied his voice had a slight Irish brogue, “Did you find what you were looking for?”

A group of sparrows had made their home in a corner of the room nearest the solarium; they twittered and chirped among themselves. A single cloud slipped across the sun sending a shadow arcing across the lodge. The light dusting of snow had already begun to evaporate but it was still enough to show two trails of footprints heading east Galen stared after them, “Where did Warren go?”

“For a walk.”

“A walk?”

“Don’t worry Hao is with him. She hasn’t lost a guest yet.” Jack smiled, “And I think you dodged my question.”

“Sorry.” Galen said, “But the manse was right where you said it would be. The mural was in perfect shape.”

“If you say so.”

“You’ve never been there?”

“Not my place.” Jack headed for the gazebo, “Come on, we’ll eat while we talk. Do you like roast beef?”

“Of course.”

They had to brush a little snow off the wood steps of the gazebo before they could sit. Jack had an old fashioned lunchbox with four sandwiches and three beers; he handed one of each to Galen. “Feeling settled in?” Jack asked.

“I think this is the calmest things have been for me in years.” Galen unwrapped the wax paper from the sandwich. There were designs of elaborate and flowing nonsense carved into the wooden structure.

Or maybe it wasn’t nonsense, there was so much Galen didn’t know about this place; perhaps that was why he had avoided it on his travels.

“How did the Culann place look?”

“Empty. A lot of old blood on the walls of the upstairs rooms. The nursery… where they might have tried to hide. It didn’t seem like there was much of a fight at all.”

Jack nodded with a distant expression, “The day it happened. At least the day I think it happened, it was February. Heavy snow everywhere, it was beautiful. I was in the solarium with Roxanne, we were playing poker. There is this crash in the kitchen and when we went to go find out what happened we saw Lydia on the floor just choking and thrashing around.”

“A seizure?”

“She was one of you Galen, and like you she’d come to us because she had nowhere else to go. Suddenly there she was dying on the kitchen floor next to what was left of her chicken casserole.” Jack took a long swig from his beer, “I left Roxanne with her while I ran to find Bodivar. I happened to look out one of the windows and I could see these black veins working their way through the snow.”

“What was it?”

“I don’t know for sure. It was like the ground was cracking open to let all this nothing out.”

“So,” Galen finished his sandwich. “What happened then?”

Jack offered him another one, “You eat pretty damn fast you know that?”

“An acquired habit.”

Wind chimes were hung at regular intervals around the structure, they chimed gently.

“Anyway, whatever they did. It lasted until morning then it was like it never happened, all that was left were these funny trails going through the snow. Of course it took about three springs for anything to grow in those spots. I built benches and this Gazebo to put over the worst of it.”

“Then how do you even know what happened?” Galen took a big bite out of a fresh sandwich.

“In the morning Hao came stumbling out of the woods.” Jack said, “She got lucky and got out of the house. I guess the servants weren’t the Monarch’s biggest concern.”

“She’s half-breed?” Galen cast an uncomfortable look to the house.

“Mixed heritage you mean?” There was something sharp in Jack’s tone, “She told us everything that happened. Whatever had darkened the snow had sickened High-Born and Common-Born. It must have been some kind of chemical weapon.”

“Of course it was.” Galen said darkly.

“Men dressed in dark fatigues stormed the house. They fought like men but didn’t die like them. The Culanns were too sickened to mount a defense, not that the Monarchs were looking for a battle. They were just cleaning house,”

Galen finished his meal in silence, washing his sandwiches down with two of the three beers. Then he asked, “What happened to Lydia?”

“She recovered but she said she was never the same after that night. She slit her wrists with an anelace.” Jack finished his own beer, “I flayed her and buried her bones back there in the garden. I think that’s the tradition isn’t it?”

Galen nodded.

Jack closed up his lunch box and hefted his tool belt, “Back to work for me, there are a few loose shingles I need to take a look at.”

“All right.” Galen said, “Could I see where you buried her?”

“You didn’t know her did you?” Jack asked.

“No.” Galen stood and, “Where is she?”

“To your right. Can’t miss it even in the snow.” Jack said from his perch on the roof of Laurel House.

That was fast. Galen marveled after him, I didn’t even hear him move away.

And there was no sign of a ladder anywhere.

5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Sixty Two

Daisy reeled at the news- her husband to be had run off with the caterer. She sure as Hell put a stop payment on that check.

5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Sixty One

Most of his adult life was spent collecting cats and memories, as he grew older he had a hard time keeping track of both.

5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Sixty

As far as Agent Krump was concerned having your gout inflamed by bad takeout food was an injury in the line of duty.

5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Sixty

It wasn't that she was a hypochondriac it was just that every illness was one step closer to her last illness.

5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Fifty Nine

All the guys visited the massage parlor for their 'Happy Endings', only a brave few opted for the 'Cathartic Finale'.

5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Fifty Eight

The only thing Audra hated more than the persecution of witches was witches with persecution complexes.

5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Fifty Seven

Amazing Ed became a costumed avenger late in life but the rough and tumble lifestyle helped keep his kidney stones manageable.

5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Fifty Six

The Red Parthenon woke their daemon-children and they in turn drove men to madness. The Apocalypse had been outsourced.

5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Fifty Five

No one should have been surprised when Joe Aardvark had killed both his aunts.