Thursday, November 26, 2009

The Nick Of Time (and other abrasions): The Trailer Park Of Dracula part one

The Nick Of Time

(and other Abrasions)

The Trailer Park Of Dracula

part one

Escape From The Trailer Park Of Dracula
Al Bruno III

It was only a few months after her nineteenth birthday and just a few weeks after she had let the sad, ageless man called Jason Magwier take her on his adventures and into his bed. He had promised to show her things she would never learn in the Academy...


The only sound in the forest was the rhythmic chanting a steady counterpoint to the gentle gurgling of the stream. The Seven stood on the shore their arms crossed over their chests and gazed up at the crescent moon.

So this is the face of undeath... Lorelei mused as she crouched behind an dead tree; She was wearing jeans, clunky boots and a t-shirt with a filthy saying on it. She kept her hair from her eyes with a bandana and the cold from her skin with her lover's coat.

Magwier was right beside her his hand on her shoulder; his hair was dark and close cropped. He gave her a little smile but even when he was grinning his eyes had the aspect of frowning. Then she glanced over to her right, to where Zeth was standing half-concealed in the shadows. Lorelei didn’t think he’d moved a muscle since the ceremony had begun; he had this odd, almost cat-like expression on his face. Of all of Magwier's unnerving friends she found him to the the most unnevering.

But what a sight we make! she thought. The apprentice sorceress, the old soldier and the man of mystery.

The chanting stopped. Jason Magwier’s grip tightened on her shoulder. Seven shadows flew at them from the darkness.


She woke to find herself trussed up on the floor of a filthy double wide trailer. She glanced around from the stained velvet curtains to the blackened electric stove and finally to the pale skinned couple sitting at the breakfast nook and playing checkers. Lorelei muttered a prayer to the Goddess to not let her die in a place as cruddy as this.

“She's awake already Elizabeth,” the taller, more masculine of the pair glanced her way.

The other nodded and batted her false eyelashes, “Resilient. I can hardly wait Olwin.”

At moments like this Lorelei always went for the big cliché, “Hey! What's the big idea?”

Olwin moved his pieces listlessly around the board, “We might ask the same of you.”

“Spying.” Elizabeth shook a finger her way, “Wandering where you shouldn't be.”

Lengths of silk bound Lorelei's wrists together, she struggled to free them but they had been expertly, and expensively, tied. She moved the conversation from cliches to outright lies, “Is this some kind of private property? We didn't know.”

“Lie,” Olwin hissed over the board, “you came here with pockets full of wolfsbane and mandrake...”

“...for medicinal purposes only.” Lorelei said; actually there were spell components, nothing too fancy, nothing that could make a man fly or turn blood into fire.

“And one of you- the black man- he was carrying four handguns.”

“... well we did tell him to travel light.”

Elizabeth smiled, her teeth sharp and the color of moonlight, “And the other? He smells of eternity, of dust and rosepetals...”

“I'm not looking for trouble here, or sloppy metaphors.” Lorelei said.

But she had to wonder what Magwier had been up to; he never went anywhere without some kind of an agenda but he rarely ever told anyone what his plans were until it was too late to try and talk him out of it. Lorelei had just been excited at the prospect of seeing some real life vampires but she had to admit that if Magwier had intended to finish the evening hogtied in the trailer park of Dracula she would have preferred a little warning.

“I'm bored of this game,” Olwin gestured towards Lorelei. “Why don't you partake?”

“Oh...” Elizabeth fluttered her eyebrows, “ I couldn’t do that to you, I know how you much you like to play with them, to undress them and hear.”

“Only if they're virgins my dear and let me tell you this is no virgin.”

Thank you summer camp!

“Wait!” Lorelei said, “You don’t understand...”

“Don’t we now?” Olwin grinned, “It doesn’t matter if you’re assassins or hapless wanderers your blood will taste the same.”

Lorelei tried to keep her voice even, “I’m an Apprentice of the Greater Eastern Council, if you harm me...”

“Our leader was once a Dean of your council.” Olwin said, “And they have a saying there. One less Apprentice...”

“ one less Apprentice.” Lorelei said with groan.

“Enough talking,” Elizabeth was a blur, knocking Lorelei back and straddling her in the space of a heartbeat.

“Bite her!” Olwin's eyebrows quivered with excitement, “Do it now!”

“If you say so.” Lorelei leaned forward and sank her teeth into the face leering over her; cold, rancid blood flooded into her mouth. The urge to retch was almost too much for her but Lorelei held it in check.

Olwin leapt to attack as Elizabeth reeled back in shock. Olwin's hands found Lorelei's throat but the magic was ready as she spit the contents of her mouth into his face- and blood became fire.


After that the hardest part of her escape was making her way through the cloud of greasy smoke to the trailer door. It was still dark outside and the moon was low in the horizon. This trailer was one of six that were arranged around a sickly looking central courtyard. Zeth was going from door to door calling for Magwier.

Lorelei's mouth tasted like blood and shit, she felt dizzy and she was bruised in a dozen places. And now it looked like she was going to have to rescue Magwer- again.

All things considered it still beat a spending another night in the dorm.


  1. Hahahahahahaha, I love's got a great twist to it!!! Keep up the good work bro!


  2. Nice tale. I loved the way she killed the vamps!

  3. Wonderful story! And the humor in the dialogue had me laughing in so many places.

    Very good twisty story!

  4. I loved it. That was a wonderful story. Very well done. It cries out to be longer of course.

  5. Great story! The prey that bites back :) I loved all the sexual tension unlying this piece. What a fun read.

  6. Funny and completey unexpected. I like when Loralei notices the bad metaphors.

  7. lol, trailer trash vampires!
    I like the concept of using the vampires' own blood against them

  8. Great concept and cool characters. I liked it very much.

  9. Cool characters, and a fun read. Nice touch of light humor. Great spell concept to escape from the vampires.
    -David G Shrock

  10. Another great job, Al! Keep 'em comin', bro. Nice to have that smile thrown into the mix with all the other elements you inject.

  11. What weird fun - loved it. "Not looking for trouble - or sloppy metaphors." Most brilliant line of this week's flashes -- and a damn good belly laugh. Peace, Linda

  12. Interesting - a little strange but fun.