Friday, September 18, 2009

5 Second Fiction: The Wordle

Wordle: Al Bruno III's 5 Second Fictions

I found a wonderful new toy at Wordle.Net

I'll let the website describe itself...

Wordle is a toy for generating “word clouds” from text that you provide. The clouds give greater prominence to words that appear more frequently in the source text. You can tweak your clouds with different fonts, layouts, and color schemes. The images you create with Wordle are yours to use however you like. You can print them out, or save them to the Wordle gallery to share with your friends.

So for my Wordle I took the text of the first 350 5 Second Fictions to see what I got.

Neat huh?

You can of course click on the image to see it in greater detail.

The Trailer for the movie GROWTH

Give me monsters over psychos any day!

Thanks to HORRORSQUAD for the heads up!

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Happy Birthday to my Dad

That's right folks, my old man just got a little older.

Just so you know he is a musician and unlike me he actually makes money from his art.

Let's enjoy a few clips shall we?

















If you've just become a fan be sure to drop him a line via TWITTER

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Twenty Six

Management pulled all but three employees off the floor so they could have a meeting about the improving customer service.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Twenty Five

The only difference between goth chicks and hippie chicks is in the way they redecorate your place after they move in.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Twenty Four

The woman that worked at the bank found being an informant easy, after all she was already a teller.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Twenty Three

There may be no atheists in foxholes but there are a surprising number of D&D players on base.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Twenty Two

Her beasts heaving the dyslexic erotica writer gently stroked her lover's pens.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Twenty One

Zeth thought that was the last of the shapeless demons but he had another Thing coming.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Twenty

She always thought of herself as resilient, a veritable stress sponge. But now she just felt wrung out.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Nineteen

It was a fantastic morning, the sun shone, the birds sang- then she went to work and ruined it.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Eighteen

The rift between our world and the Pornoverse widened, slowly... sensually... yeah... just the way you like it.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Seventeen

Time travelers frequently stopped in the early 21st century to place bets on the fights that broke out at town hall meetings.

5 Second Fiction four Hundred and Sixteen

Rusty Johnson was able to save Captain Hero's poodle from the brink of death by making it bionic. It was too late for the goldfish.

5 Second Fiction four Hundred and Fifteen

Finally at his wits end the Lord God made Richard Dawkins the messiah and let the chips fall where they may.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Fourteen

The dog had gas, the cat had hairballs and the parrot was molting- the hamster ran from home the first chance he got.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Thirteen

It was to be a mystical duel of the deadliest, most arcane kind, of all the time for Lorelei to get a zit on her nose

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Twelve

Bad enough Captain Hero had been captured by Nefario worse yet he was saved by the smug and invulnerable Commander Infinity.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Eleven

Once Karl was at the brothel he made love to Hope and Faith- they had no Mercy.

Reading, Writing and Recommendations

You know I'm not the only Twitter-er doing #5secfic... here are a few others I have enjoyed...

darcknyt
#5secfic Running low on chocolate angels, Felix waited for dark & trotted to the dog park, pooper scooper in hand, plastic bag at the ready.

#5secfic He thought it was because of his threatening imposing phyique that The Flatulator always got the presidential suite at conventions.

#5secfic "Now, Cpt. Hero," Nefario hissed, "you can save Doomsday girl or your poodle Mr. Frenchy from The Shredder, but not both. CHOOSE!"


BryceBeattie
Dave leaned in for the kiss and saw food stuck in her teeth. He tried to abort gracefully but ended up with spinach in his hair.

Eagle Eye Jack saw the bird pluck the tiny silvery fish from the water 100 yards away then steered the frigate into a cliff.


And for some longer works I enjoyed and I think you might as well..


Camp by Jeremy C. Shipp
My muscles tighten. My teeth clench. My irritable bowel is seriously pissed off.

I'm no good at sitting.

"Hold it together," my dad tells me. Not physically here, of course, but why would that stop him? Hold it together--that's easy for him to say. He's made of steel bars and rivets and bolts. Me, I'm held together with Elmer's glue and pushpins and chewing gum.

Memories vibrate. They fall and crack open.
Click Here to read the rest


Here is one of Kate Sherrod's Suppertime Sonnets
I left the office, stood in pouring rain.
Ahead of me those dark, forbidding skies
Loomed angry, as though I had caused the pain
That leaked from all those clouds into my eyes.
Behind me, though, as I pulled far away
Out of the shadow of the building there
Was perfect blue and sunshine. I did stay,
Admiring the demarcation where
The two skies met, a moment, then turned on
To Yellowstone Ave, already soaked through,
Hair plastered to my face and eyebrows drawn
In concentration. All I sought was to
Turn east onto the Greenway and to see
The rainbow that would show my path to me.


Here is Pandemic Danny (made in DNA)
Danny sat quietly, a sporadic jerk the only thing punctuating his otherwise silent countenance. His left eye had gone milky white with cataract, his skin was a mottled yellow and sickly, and despite the fair temperature of the room on a fine spring morning, whispery rivulets of sweat snuck their way down his hot brow passed his earlobe until they found a hiding spot under his jaw.

Click here to read the rest


Woven Threads of Our Sunday by Fantasia Lillith (Sweetly Gloriously NSFW)
Sunrise on Sunday morning…

Some love it for the guarantee of brunch, the paper and coffee in bed, for time with friends and family, or for the slow and easy pace the world seems to take on that second weekend day.

Some see it as the end of the week, I prefer it as the first day of mine. For me it is the promise of hours of slow, sweet fucking, and the launching of my soul to depart and float forward and mingle with his, that makes Sunday my “it” day.

Click here to read the rest


And if you aren't reading Juan Santapan's The Secret Knots you better start!



And last but not least Cooking with LP by Benjamin Kotz
Welcome to a this weeks episode of Cooking with LP!

My name is Ben and on this weeks episode we’ll be grilling ribs on the grill using our rotisserie!

Click here to read the rest...

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Ten

Every kindergärtner makes a flower pot from a soup can, glue and uncooked pasta. Not every student gets it stuck to his hair.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Nine

The minute his date's Mom said he was the nicest boy she had ever brought home he knew he was done for.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Eight

The difference between telemarketers and serial killers is that not everyone thinks serial killers deserve the death penalty.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Seven

Psychotic Kid learned that dramatically crashing through windows and bulletproof glass did not mix.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Six

Karl worked up the nerve to go to a nudist colony- sadly it was during Enormous Goiter Acceptance Week.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Five

Reading through the memo filled him with the same kind of dread he felt watching a pregnant woman rollerblade.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Four

Lorelei stared at the yellowed photograph. “Jason...” she said with dawning horror. “You had a PERM?”

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Three

Erato disabled the bank robbers with blasts of mystical energy and the occasional kick to the groin.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Two

It was the first multiple monster brain transplant, then Professor Lindquist realized they had a brain left over.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and One

In a world where people Twittered while eating and driving, trapeze artists suddenly seemed passe.

PARANORMAL ACTIVITY trailer and write up courtesy of BRUTALASHELL



Thank you BRUTALASHELL


FEARNET's review of SOLOMON KANE

As if I wasn't interested enough FEARNET has me even more excited about the film.

Mounting any sort of "medieval" action epic must be a really daunting task. First off, it's a period piece (obviously), which means you have to buy a lot of swords, costumes, and horses. Then you face the problem that plagued flicks as varied as The 13th Warrior, In the Name of the King, Pathfinder, Outlander, etc, and that problem is this: Laughability. By that I mean it's really easy to look silly in this sub-genre if you're not firing on all cylinders. I do not offer this early set-up to imply that Michael J. Bassett's Solomon Kane is the second coming of John Boorman's Excalibur (clearly it is not), but merely to indicate that ... holy moley, this movie is a whole lot more "polished" than one has any right to expect from a medieval action flick. Let alone one that's also got one foot planted firmly in the world of crazy occult-style horror.

I do wonder however how much box office interest this will garner - are we looking at a smash hit or another cult classic?

In The Shadow Of His Nemesis chapter twenty nine

BY AL BRUNO III




Saturday November 16th 1996





It didn't take Galen long to clear his plate, he ate like a man racing against the clock. Warren was already on his second glass of wine, his entire face was flushed. Isobel noticed how clumsy he was with the fork in his left hand and felt a twinge of guilt. Angie was deep into conversation with Sig, but he seemed to nod and shake his head more than he actually spoke. Roxanne and Jack were trying to look anywhere but at each other.

The wood in the fireplace popped and Isobel found herself looking to the pictures and paintings on the walls again; one was of an older looking woman with long scar beneath her right eye, another was of a pair of twins, one sporting a handlebar moustache, the other a floppy hat, there was a sour looking teenage girl wearing an elaborate looking black dress and then one picture was an entire family standing hand in hand- not a one of them was smiling. Who were these people? Isobel wondered then she asked, “How long do you think we should lay low here?”

Bodivar frowned, “The Monarchs have long memories and a longer reach.”

“You mean we might have to stay here for the rest of our lives?” Warren asked.

Sig shrugged, “There are worse fates.”

Zeth tsked, “I thought your people were warriors.”

“Warriors? Yes. But not fools. Only fools keep fighting when the battle's over.”

“Well at least it’s relaxing here.” Warren mused.

“Relaxing.” Angie nodded, “Yeah, but sometimes I would kill for a little trash TV.”

“I think Jerry Springer might clash with the dĂ©cor.”

“Oh my God, is he still on the air?”

Warren said, “Yeah, he’s perfect hangover viewing.”

“Television…” Sig said thoughtfully, “Always seemed like so much noise to me. I prefer the kind of stories people tell each other.”

“Speaking of stories…” Magwier said turned to him, “Tell me Warren whatever happened to your friend Tristam?”

The front of Warren's bathrobe hung open and his silk pajamas were spattered with gravy. Warren gave Magwier a wary look, “How about you tell me why you were working at my school as a janitor?”

“I was putting myself through school.”

Zeth groaned.

“Who is this Tristam I keep hearing about?” Angie asked, “A little while before John and I got here he was all over the news.”

Warren frowned, “I'm not sure stories about him are appropriate dinner conversation.”

Roxanne laughed, “Then you obviously have no idea who you're having dinner with.”

Warren shrugged, “All I can say is that he did a lot worse things than what they know about”

“That's it? What are you afraid of saying?”

Hao's voice became a growl, “Roxanne, let him be.”

“It's just...” Warren filled his wineglass again, “It's just none of it makes any sense. He used to beat me up, he used to beat me up a lot but then he killed a dog and all the cool kids started thinking he was crazy and he had to sit at my table with my other friends. We were the less than popular kids.”

He took a drink before continuing, he was talking faster now, “For a goofy fat kid I had a lot of friends- Greg, Rich, Yusuf, Adelphos and Drew. At first we didn't want Tristam hanging around with us but Greg felt sorry for him so we took him in. I guess we made him an honorary nerd or something.”

Roxanne raised her eyebrows, “And now that you're here are you an honorary-”

Bodivar shushed her, “Let him finish.”

“I busted his balls every chance I got.” Warren said, “I was sure that if he got the chance to stab us in the back he'd do it. But when things got… they got bad… he started trying to protect us. We didn't exactly encourage him, well some of us didn't. I was a little into it really- seeing all the precious perfect kids get humiliated, I liked it. Then he took it further, everything went wrong- for him, for all of us-maybe even for the whole world.”

“What do you mean the whole world?” Jack asked.

“I wasn’t there, I didn't see what happened in the end. That last night before he was arrested- even the stars were wrong. A lot of people died, including one of my friends.”

Hao patted his arm comfortingly; he gave her a little smile.

“Warren.” Isobel said, “I never knew any of that.”

Her brother drained his second glass of wine and went to work on his third, “I never really said. You and I never talked much after you moved out.”

“I'm sorry.”

“Just as much my fault as yours.”

Hao said to him, “Now maybe you could tell me a story about that cousin Tess of yours. Isobel dropped me a few very interesting hints.”

“Tess? Oh. Yeah she just… developed early.” Warren said.



Sunday, September 13, 2009

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred

The rescue mission ended awkwardly when Captain Hero and Doomsday Girl were found engaged what was not a life and death struggle.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Ninety Nine

"I don't negotiate with terrorists." He said.

"Stop being dramatic and tell the Laundromat we lost the damn ticket." She ordered.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Ninety Eight

Little is known of the Dread Lords save that they can only be summoned by love and only be sated by blood.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Ninety Seven

He confessed that he was an atheist and came to church to pick up chicks, Pastor Ferdman was glad to learn he wasn't the only one.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Ninety Six

That night the demi-god Erato joined the team, and Amazing Ed almost ruined it all by asking if she was there for light housework.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Ninety Five

The young prince tried to woo the maiden fair but in the end just hooked up with her slutty older sister instead.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred Ninety Four

The ship hit an iceberg then the rescue plane hit the ship; and to think she had taken a vacation because she was feeling suicidal.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Ninety Three

Lesser women might have traded their virtue but the Cheerleaders of the Wasteland took their purity rings very seriously.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Ninety Two

It wasn't a wasn't a rare thing for Lorelei to be overcome with love for her mother- just never to the woman's face.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Ninety One

The first starship powered by Google technology truly was a Search Engine.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Ninety

It was a sin for him to fantasize about other women so instead he re-imagined his wife in series of complex disguises.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Eighty Nine

A job opening for a professional time traveler was listed in the paper months after the position was filled.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Eighty Eight

Psychotic Kid and Fuego were the only members of the team brave enough to confront Hrothgar the Viking about his hygiene issues.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Eighty Seven

Attending church became like flossing and making love, something she only did once or twice a year- and usually under duress.