Thursday, December 8, 2011

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Nine Hundred and Ninety Eight

For a decade mad scientists and 'Seinfeld' fans experimented with Wayne Knight's DNA, the final result was the Newman Centipede.

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Nine Hundred and Ninety Seven

Before you take your true love in your arms and say “Don't ever change.” You better damn well be sure they aren't a werewolf first.

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Nine Hundred and Ninety Six

Low-end superheroes and standup comics have a lot in common- late hours, seedy neighborhoods and the risk of regular beatings.

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Nine Hundred and Ninety Five

There was a clear boundary between ordinary flatulence and crapping your pants and every day Jenkins walked the line.

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Nine Hundred and Ninety Four

Derrick sold fake poultry by the truckload so it was inevitable he would be arrested and charged with Fraud Chicken.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

(Insane News) "Hungry Swedes queue up for Obamas sausage"

Found on FARK.com

 

"Obamas" - written without an apostrophe in accordance with Swedish grammatical custom - serves falafel, kebab and sausages, prepared and served by Amro and Soumia Hawary, who opened up shop almost three years ago.

“I named it Obamas because I really like the American president Obama,” said owner Amro Hawary to The Local.

“I have followed his career since he was in Chicago, a few years before he was president.”

You can't see Obamas from the main road and there is not a lot of traffic flow to help you find your way. But, thankfully, there is a giant Obama head on a "Falafel, kebab and sausage" sign on the main road, directing the way to the little cart...

 

To read the rest click here.

 

(Insane News) "Cowboys round up 'ninja cow"

Found on FARK.com

Plattsmouth's long ninja nightmare came to a close Wednesday afternoon when a cow that had been roaming its streets since mid-September was finally corralled.

Police Chief Steve Rathman said the animal — dubbed the ninja cow because it grazed on lush city lawns at night and then vanished when people approached — was captured about 1 p.m. on the north side of town. Terry Grell of Louisville, Neb., Neil Johnson of Nehawka, Neb., and Gregg Eisenbarth of Plattsmouth caught the cow on horseback.

Grell said the trio tracked the cow in the morning, moved her into an open area with a trailer nearby and then allowed her to calm down before using their ropes for the capture. The cow calmly walked into the trailer for a ride to Grell's place outside of Louisville.

“It's nice that the she was taken care of without harm,” Rathman said. “We did everything in our power to humanely capture (the cow) and I'm very glad it ended as it did...”

To read the rest click here

Michael Bukowski does a damn fine job of drawing a Less Describable Thing

BUZZFEED has the '25 Most Awkward Photos With Santa'

Here are my faves...

 

 

 

 

 

 

For the rest stop by BUZZFEED

(Insane News) The Diaper/Dominatrix Defense

Found via FARK.com

 

 

...The case was unusual from the start.

In January 2004, Mr. Petraitis, 69, and Sandra Rinella, 47, were accused of hiring Ms. Rinella’s former husband, Kerry Anderson, who was a biker and former convict, to kill the businessman’s wife of almost 40 years.

The defence insist the plot was only a sexual role-playing game that Mr. Petraitis engaged in with his dominatrix mistress, Ms. Rinella, whom he paid.

One clue comes from Mr. Petraitis wearing a diaper during his first meeting with the would-be hit man….

 

click here to learn more

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

In some ways I feel the Sifl and Olly version of the Cars 'Just What I Needed' is superior to the original...

Then again I do love puppets...