Thursday, December 9, 2010
No one believed her story about being molested by Dracula but she wasn't the first to learn about “Good Touch” and “Vlad Touch”
At first the space aliens didn't know how to reveal themselves to mankind, eventually they decided upon a Grey Pride parade.
The ancient mariners wore lots of cologne while on shore leave but Old Spice couldn't disguise the odor of old seamen.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
He was riding down the road trying to loosen his load but there were no rest stops anywhere.
He told her he was putty in her hands but she said that was a silly way to make an impression.
“So,” the Muse asked, “what's the skinny on this new anorexic super villain?”
Abner Deggent tried to escape through the air ducts, slipped and tore off his foreskin, causing him to circum-vent the issue.
Monday, December 6, 2010
It is Winter’s Eve and I lie in bed, the blanket drawn up to my ears, with the wind starting to howl outside as the last bit of daylight creeps into the hut. My mother strokes my hair and tells me the same tale as she does every year on this night...
The last straw was opening my lunch box and finding an apple core and an empty sandwich bag. Jeff was the worst roommate in the history of roommates. I saw him rummaging in the fridge this morning after I packed my lunch, but even while I stood under the cold shower cursing him for using all of the hot water and trying to get clear headed, calm and centered for the grueling work day I knew I had ahead of me; I never imagined he would eat my lunch for his breakfast. No wonder he was whistling as he took my travel mug full of the last of my coffee out the door with him this morning on his way to the unemployment office...