Saturday, April 2, 2011

(Recommended Podcast) The HP Lovecraft Literary Podcast

I am not one for listening to podcasts... I am usually too busy dealing with the voices wandering around in my own head to add anymore. 


But these guys... Chad Fifer and Chris Lackey have created a fun and fascinating listen for anyone interested in the works of Mr. Lovecraft. Part dramatic reading, part synopsis and part analysis the podcast is instructive, informative and are frequently so funny that I like to think of them as 'the MST3k of the Mythos. ' They have great guest readers, great guests and some damn fine music.


And now their podcast has moved on to offering full dramatic readings of Lovecraft's works.


Give the talented men at the HP LOVECRAFT LITERARY PODCAST a listen folks.

(Recommended Serial Novel) "The Mythical Creatures Emploment Exchange" by Justin Davies


Fiona McAlister sprinted to the corner of the building and bent over clutching her sides. Lungs burning and blood racing, she listened for its crawling approach above the pounding of her heart.

It was there, right in front of her, in the darkness of the factory’s shadow. How could it have passed her? Its phlegm-rolling throat-breath inched closer, expiring rank carnivorous air over her face. Pulling her head back into her shoulders Fiona looked into its blood-lined yellow iris and saw her own fear reflected back. As the monster opened its mouth she closed her eyes. One, two, three, four, open.

Lying in her sweat-drenched bed Fiona caught her breath and tried to remember the nightmare. By the time she’d made coffee and showered it had already become softer around the edges and on reaching work, she had entirely forgotten the details.

A queue of shuffling cadavers greeted her at the Mythical Creatures Employment Exchange; most were pleasant enough, but Zombies always unnerved her with the bits of dead flesh falling off and blood all over the lino.

‘Don’t tell me,’ she groaned at Alice, her secretary, ‘they’ve nothing to do after the Dia de Los Muertos.’

‘That’s right.’ said Alice. ‘I’ve told them we’re over-subscribed, but they just won’t listen. Actually, it’s hard finding one with ears,'...


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(Recommended Reads) "How Laziness Made Me A Better Person" by Trevor McPherson

Once upon a time, in my mid thirties, I realized I was in danger of becoming a boring middle class white guy. My life needed some sparkle, some drama. A little je ne sais quois, if you will. I decided the solution was to become an alcoholic.

Alcohol does not discriminate. It has made heroes, buffoons and celebrities of people at all income levels, on all continents, and every industry. Writers, actors, politicians, doctors, mill workers, cabbies, psychotherapists – alcohol really is an equal opportunity fucker-upper. I had every confidence I would succeed...

click here to read the rest

(Recommended Reads) "Ring the Bell" by Jason Warden

I ring the bell. My life is a shriveled, blackened husk of what it once was. Like an eggplant left to rot, the soft mushy portion of my soul liquefies, collapses in on itself, and splits wide threatening to spoil everything within reach of the putrescence.

She acted as my savior, the only one who could lift me up when life threatened to take everything from me. She did that, and for a little while I was happy. A feeling I knew nothing about before her...

click here to read the rest

Friday, April 1, 2011

(Recommended Read) “Zoning Patrol” by P.J. Kaiser

The dark stairs stretched out before Monty, looking like they had been trod by a million feet. His head tilted at an odd angle, eyes focused on drops of blood, one after another, like a trail of bread crumbs leading up the stairs. Knowing where the trail would lead, his stomach knotted and a wave of nausea hit him. Monty glanced over his shoulder, wishing his partner would appear, but Willard had called in sick that morning...

click here to read the rest

The Nick Of Time (and other abrasions): Oh! Darling

The Nick Of Time (and other abrasions)

Oh! Darling


Al Bruno III

They were such a mismatched pair. First there was Jason Magwier- diminutive and scheming, his close cropped hair was dark brown, his gaze was as unblinking as it was mournful. Then there was Zeth- cool-eyed, muscular with his graying dreadlocks tied back with a bit of ribbon, his clothes were loose fitting enough to hide his two shoulder holsters and the blade he kept hidden up his sleeve. When he moved it was with an almost feline grace but his ebony skin was marked with old scars.

The men had many adversaries and a great number of them snidely dismissed Zeth as Magwier’s bodyguard. Both men would bristle at such accusations. After all hadn’t they both been saving each other’s lives for over a decade? Hadn’t they explored countless forgotten realms, fought against otherworldly unstoppable menaces and been banned from almost every poetry slam on the West coast?

All this was true and more, but it didn’t change the fact that at this moment, on the dark and winding street known as Route d'Abbaye, that Zeth was the only thing keeping Magwier from being throttled by his girlfriend.

“The Lunts?” Lorelei shouted. She wore cutoff shorts and garishly striped leggings, her hair was dyed burgundy but the roots were starting to show, “You brought me out here to protect the Lunts?”

Zeth was standing in front of the girl, the silver-plated maul he had slung over his right shoulder looked ridiculous.

“Erm...” Magwier said sheepishly, “ a manner of speaking, yes.”

“Goddess Damnit!” She dove at her lover, he dodged to safety, “The fucking Lunts?”

“Yes,” Magwier said, “but if you’ll hear me out-”

Lorelei was jumping up and down with rage, “Give me that hammer Zeth! Just for five minutes.”

Zeth shook his head, “No.”

“Give me that hammer or I swear I’ll turn you into a newt.”

“A newt... right.”

“A big black newt but it’ll be a newt!”

The windows of the brownstone houses of Route d'Abbaye were either barred or smashed open, some had lights burning in them but most were dark. A car passed by the trio but didn’t slow until it reached the building at the corner. It was a brothel, with pink curtains and a heavy brass door. It was the only building on Route d’Abbaye with a fire escape and Zeth watched it closely worrying that their argument might attract snipers or spies.

The unhappy couple circled each other. “Now, now,” Magwier said. “I told you Dr. Flesh is on a paid killing spree. I just didn’t have the time to specify his targets.”

Zeth rolled his eyes.

“You always do this!” Lorelei spoke through clenched teeth, “You give us little nibbles but never enough to let us see the full story.”

Magwier paused and stared off philosophically, “Maybe there is no big story. Maybe life is just a series of vignettes we can only try to make sense of.”

That only made Lorelei madder, she tried to kick him with her clunky boots but he was too fast, “I am not going to risk my neck for that clan of inbred, monkey-worshipping pigfuckers!”

Zeth snickered at that. He didn’t like Jason Magwier’s latest lover all that much but he had to admit the girl had a way with words.

“Please-” Magwier said, “I think you’re judging the situation too harshly.”

“The Lunts are a pack of criminals, corrupt sorcerers and Constables.”

“They’re not all like that. One of them is a Notary Public.”

“They killed my father, tried to assassinate my mother and have been gunning for me since I was twelve. And of course how could we forget the very bottom of the Lunt family gene pool- Jack Diamond? I guess this means that we’re going to try and save the man that beat me eight ways to Sunday and tried to rape one of my best friends?”

Magwier shrugged, “In a manner of speaking.”

“We should have killed him by now. I should have killed him.”

This was a familiar argument. Lorelei wanted Jack Diamond dead and wasn’t afraid to do the job herself. She wasn’t even twenty yet but she’d taken more lives than she cared to think about. She liked to think most had deserved it. “They’re evil,” she said, “and utterly ruthless.”

Magwier stopped so suddenly that Lorelei crashed into him, “Exactly. So who would dare try and kill them all? What if it’s someone worse? What if they succeed?”

It seemed like all of the street had gone quiet. Lorelei opened and closed her mouth several times before sighing with resignation, “What’s the plan?”

“Well,” Magwier said, “we’ve got the hammer.”

Now it was Zeth’s turn to sigh heavily, “So you did plan that whole thing.”

“Only in the sense that I saw it coming,” Magwier started walking, knowing they would follow, “next we recover the Xenon Splinter then we deal with Dr. Flesh.”

Lorelei asked, “And how are we going to do that?”

A carriage passed them by, the horses that drew it had seen better days. Jason Magwier flashed a cryptic smile, “Well, that’s a whole other vignette isn’t it?”

Then he crossed the street. His friend and his lover had to hurry after him. Lorelei caught up to him first. “Oh! Darling,” she said.

“Yes, my sweet?” Magwier turned, his arms already opening for a forgiving embrace.

And Lorelei laid him out flat with a single punch.

And Zeth was content to let her do so. After all, he wasn’t Magwier’s bodyguard.

Thursday, March 31, 2011

TOPLESS ROBOT made me watch the trailer for a SILENT HILL fan film - and now I can't sleep!