Saturday, July 31, 2010
"I hated being a super hero in the 90's. It was all about image and we were always getting foiled. No one had any perspective."
Friday, July 30, 2010
Troy watched the seagulls wheel above the ocean, dive for clams, then guard their catches from comrades. With tourist season a memory, the gulls had to work for their meals.
A runt gull burst from the surf with a large shell bulging from its bill. In his peripherals Troy noticed a gray-winged giant intent on the smaller bird's catch. The runt soared above the cottage line, hovered as if measuring the distance. The larger bird took flight. Troy shouted to divert gray-wing's attention, but the bird disregarded him and aimed for the roofline. It swooped in just as the clam crashed on the rooftop and stole the sweet meat. The runt screeched its frustration, but gray-wing ignored the tantrum and flew away. Troy understood gull law; every bird for himself...
“Mum, I’m taking the fish for a walk.”
“Okay, but be back in time for dinner.”
When Tommy was five years old, his parents had taken him to a Greek island on holiday. His memories of it were rather vague, consisting mainly of sandcastles built and then promptly destroyed in glee, but one incident was still crystal clear in his mind. They had been sitting in a taverna by the harbour, and a boat with two fishermen had moored a few feet from their table. One of the men had jumped to shore carrying a small shark, harpoon still sticking out of it. On seeing Tommy’s eyes widen, the man smiled at him and lowered the fish so he could take a closer look. He still remembered its intense dark eyes, and how smooth it had been to the touch...
The Legion of Protectors had defended Earth from alien cyborgs nine times before but where they ready for the Deus Machina X?
With no more lotion to enhance female arousal they tried Vics Vapor Rub. There was a lot of screaming in the bedroom that night.
He tried to cure nerds of their long-standing fears of gymnasiums by making them smell used sports equipment. It was Jock Therapy.
It was a shop that specialized in products for women with oversized vaginas but it just couldn't compete with the Big Box Stores.
A 3rd version of the Time Police had to be created to fix time paradoxes created by the other Time Police repairing time paradoxes.
Professor Olam and the Silver League vowed to forge the future with steam power and dreams. Neither stayed in fashion long enough.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
He spent years as a door to door sponge salesman but then the market dried up.
Amazing Ed spent twenty minutes trying to diffuse the bomb before someone told him it was pinata
Talking in his sleep had ruined George's marriage but at least he didn't have to be awake to run a kickass Dungeons & Dragons game.
After she lost both of her arms on the job she was laid off with severance pay.
The witch doctor promised to curse the mercinaries with the Living Death. Abner Deggent just laughed, he had already been married.
"Your joke was like my sex life," he said, "I don't get it."
The strain of managing a comic book store drove him mad, you might say he had issues.
The rejection slip said Alfred's prose style was 'too feminine'. Alfred vowed to track the editor down scratch his eyes out.
Captain Renault's grandson became a crazed cannibal, by the time they caught him he had ground up the usual suspects.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
...Deputies say they found 47-year-old Randy Malone naked along U.S. 70 with his prosthetic right leg in flames on July 5. He was treated for burns to his leg, back and buttocks...
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
It's widely held that much of the inspiration for HP Lovecraft's wackiness are the night terrors that plagued him while he slept. Well, that and unhinged racism, but I digress. . .
According to a police report, the unnamed suspect rubbed a finger along the victim's butt crack, prompting her to clench her buttocks. The victim claimed the clenching caused the bed she was sitting on to break, angering the suspect...