Friday, December 17, 2010
After losing his treasure in the Valley of the Wolf Men Abner Deggent was barking mad.
Bob started carrying a change of underwear in his valise, upgrading it to a brief case.
Just because her store sold used shrimp he didn't think of it as a some kind of a Prawn Shop.
Now everyone knew who was naughty or nice. Santa shook his mittened fist in the air, “Damn you Wikileaks! DAMN YOUUUU!”
When her vampire lover watched her sleep she found it romantic. When he spied on her using the toilet? Not so much.
Jonno’s leaving do was declared a resounding success. Lots of tequila, a £50 fruit machine win which bought more tequila, a minor scuffle with some townies, and even a slap from a stripper – administered to Jonno himself no less, which was the icing on the cake. The rest of the lads piled into taxis and Jonno, Richard and I set off for my flat. I had some cans of beer stashed away there which would help take us down gently from the tequila buzz. After all, Jonno had to be at his folks’ in a couple of hours for his farewell breakfast, so we had to sober him up a bit...
No one suspected Namor's affair with one of the girls from the Scooby gang until their discovery of their daughter Aqua-Velma.
Far worse than being captured and anal probed by aliens was being captured by aliens and forced to clean their used anal probes.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Back in NY there was a hit man named Arthur that lived in an apartment above a grocery store. One time he strangled 3 mobsters he really hated for only a buck. It was such a big deal they put a sign in the grocery store window- ARTIE CHOKES THREE FOR A DOLLAR....
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Lester lived in a future where organ transplants were earned via a variant of WHEEL OF FORTUNE. He said, “I'd like to buy a bowel.”
Jan was proud to have become a policewoman but then her older sister outdid her. She cried out, “Marshall! Marshall! Marshall!”
She missed dial up modems and BBSes, she preferred getting into a pointless arguments with people from her area code.
The church team agreed to play the Gay Mens Soccer League just as long as no balls were touched.
She had a thing for garbage men. Maybe it was their hats, maybe it was their uniforms, or maybe it was just their flies.
The only reason the maestro of the River City orchestra survived the Electric Assassin's attack was that he was a poor conductor.
Amazing Ed tried to open a can of whoopass but somehow locked himself in the pantry.
Most evil-doers found the Electric Assassin's rates exorbitant but sometimes there was no charge.
Lola was an exotic dancer that wore nothing but gleaming latex, so she got used to people calling in search of a paint stripper.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Love of small birds and beer led to him being visited by the ghosts of Christmas Pabst, Christmas Pheasants and Christmas Fuchsia.
The intervention for his sex addiction never really got started because he wouldn't get the damn hooker off his face.
The cultists had summoned a burning, tentacled, lamprey- mouthed space god and worst of all it had brought its home movies.
She kept trying to find a way to travel to the moon for free but there is no free launch.
“I awoke to find my apartment filled with ceramic figurines,” Jason Magwier said. “It wasn't one of my more precious moments.”
Captain Hero took Amazing Ed aside, “Tight budget or not the pink fuzzy handcuffs in your utility belt have got to go.”
She was a video game nymphomaniac and couldn't wait to link his Wii up with her Xbox.
Abner Deggent wasn't the kind of man to bring a knife to a gunfight but once he had brought a chainsaw to a quilting bee.