5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Fifty Eight

Horothgar thought the mage had told him to beware of harpies when he reached Spring Break '99. He was so very wrong.

5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Fifty Seven

Captain Hero tried his luck with a darker, edgier costume and nearly got run over crossing the street at night.

5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Fifty Six

None of the other guys in the Mob suspected Vito the Icepick's love of romantic comedies.

5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Fifty Five

As he climaxed he whispered his one true love's name, everyone else in the library thought he was just talking to himself.

5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Fifty Four

The aliens landed in a warship that looked just like Spongebob Squarepants. The rest was easy.

5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Fifty Three

Oh sure the army tried recruiting ninjas but no one ever noticed them during role call.

5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Fifty Two

The Reverend Ferdman was the first one to open a church sanctioned casino; they called it 'Holy Rollers'

5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Fifty One

At 7 PM a giant meteor stuck the Earth, some only noticed when their cable TV went dead.

5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Fifty

Doomsday Girl's master plan involved a dirigible and some bungee cords. It failed.

5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Forty Nine

The car ride took a million years subjective time and there was only one Van Morrison CD to listen to.

5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Forty Eight

Mass confusion erupted when the International League of Hypnotists blundered into the National Staring contest.

5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Forty Six

Hrothgar was a barbarian spy with a licence to cleave.

5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Forty Seven

War after war of succession was fought over the Kingdom, no one wanted to be in charge of the damn place.

5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Forty Five

The villain in the first PETA-Approved horror film was called Pleatherface.

5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Forty Four

If there was one thing all super heroes understood it was that in a crisis the guy no one ever heard of dies first.

5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Forty Three

Of all the positions in 'THE NERDS KARMA SUTRA' the Floating Jedi position is the most rewarding.

5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Forty Two

Of all the positions in 'THE NERDS KARMA SUTRA' the Behind Meld is still illegal in some states.

5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Forty One

It seems like the iPhone app for Zeno's paradoxes will never get here.

5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Forty

Several soulless cyborgs were sent to the past from the future, most became gym teachers.

Angels, Demons and Automatic Weapons

This week's jaw dropper of a movie trailer comes to us from twitch.net

5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Thirty Nine

The year they held GenCon at the Playboy mansion a lot of gamers failed their save vs. hyperventilation.

5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Thirty Eight

Everyone knew Captain Hero was conflicted about Doomsday Girl- men in spandex have no secrets.

5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Thirty Seven

Whoever thought it didn't hurt to just ask had never gone to Mr. Nelson for a raise after he'd had a bad golf game

5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Thirty Six

She was so busy chasing her dreams that she trampled over his reality.

5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Thirty Five

Peaches the Pony was her wish come true! If only she hadn't made her wish at that cursed well.

5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Thirty Four

There are a million stories in the city, none currently involve shuffleboard.

5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Thirty Three

Sobering up all he recalled was kissing a woman with a mustache. Then a pair of underpants was found in the manatee tank.

5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Thirty Two

He had lost his soul to drugs and depravity but no one in Kartoon Kingdom even knew Magic Mallard had a problem.

5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Thirty One

They cried havoc and let slip the dogs of war, followed quickly by the cats of hurtful language and budgies of ennui.

5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Thirty

Once paper currency was replaced by erotic lithographs people started saving again.

5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Twenty Nine

The fan forum for the TV show about a TV fan forum caused the Internet to collapse into a singularity of complaints and porn.

5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Twenty Eight

It was the one thing no paranormal investigator wanted to hear; "angry gay leprechauns"

5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Twenty Seven

It was the 4th mummy that had shambled from its museum directly to New Orleans, perhaps drawn there by ragtime music.

5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Twenty Six

He was the most inept lover she had ever had, somehow that intrigued her. Soon she fell in love, rugburns and all.

5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Twenty Five

The Cannibal Congressman's defense became his re-election slogan- “Lobbyists: The Other White Meat”

Six Months!

If I may take a moment here to pat myself on the back I would just like to say that my serial novel In The Shadow Of His Nemesis has reached the six month mark.

I must say that I'm pretty darn pleased with it so far, I hope you folks out there have been enjoying it. I even went so far as to create a faux soundtrack for it. You can give it a listen here at My Blip.fm Station.

Video Blog One: They See Me Rollin...

I wish to thank Brian Solomon of

The Vault of Horror for his technical advice

and for making this look easier than it is.

A word of warning...

I am going to post my first attempt at a video blog today.

If you are driven mad by people that break up their sentences with "er uh" and "and uhm" this may not be the video blog for you.

And if guys that look like this-

Make you react like this-


This will also not be the video blog for you.

You have been warned.

And now bikini babes reading the scripts from the STAR WARS trilogy...

Courtesy of whipitoutcomedy.com and 1690swimwear




Is this what I have to do to get more hits people?

Are you paying attention out there in North Dakota?