Thursday, February 2, 2017

Yeah, this battle was pretty much inevitable...

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

More good stuff from WE HATE MOVIES!


On the final (Some of the) Worst of 2016 episode, the guys tackle the total who-was-asking-for-this sequel, Independence Day: Resurgence! Why does the CGI look so terrible in this major blockbuster? Why did we need to squeeze back in the characters played by Vivica A. Fox and Judd Hirsch? And are we really aping Aliens this much? PLUS: This film officially dethrones Super Mario Bros. for having the absolute most audacious sequel setup in film history!
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On this month's Mail Bag, the guys read letters about cinematic conspiracy theories, Amy Adams being pleasant at a coffee shop, someone almost dying watching Howard the Duck, phony film professors, Thomas Haden Church crushing children's dreams, and much more!

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Tuesday, January 31, 2017

How many times have I see this story? I don't care I am going to see it again.

This latest article is a real mouthful.


"According to the international team’s findings, humanity’s earliest known ancestor had a mouth but no anus. Its body shape and lack of an anus likely means that both food and digested waste were passed through the creature’s mouth. Thankfully, humans have since evolved a more intricate digestive system over hundreds of millions of years..."

Monday, January 30, 2017

The Cinema Snob reviews GLEN OR GLENDA


The world of the Night Blogger: Druagga Thrall of Mormo

"Hearken to my voice, oh Dark One. Ancient and awful, supreme in artifice, bearer of power, I conjure thee. Be present here at my command and truly do my will.  Aba, abara, agarbara, gad, gadoal, galdina!  Erus saw bmal eht tnew yram taht, erehwyreve dna, wons sa etihw saw eceelf sti, bmal elttila dah yram! Eoh, eoh, Druagga!  By the power of earth, by the power of air, by the power of fire eternal and the waters of the deep, I conjure thee and charge thee Druagga Arise, arise at my command, Druagga! Druagga!" - the Magister's Prayer (from the memoirs of  Professor William Sebastian)
"Who knows where he obtained that PDF file of that blasphemous ancient scroll? Who knows where he found a bone from a saint and the tears of a jackal? I mean let’s be honest here, even has its limits. However he did it, once he had all the spell components together he locked himself in his apartment at 233 Parkwood Towers and, once he’d properly defiled himself, began the dark chant to summon Druagga the Possessor, thrall of Mormo."- Brian Foster
". . . they take counsel . . . aeons . . . that are dead . . . the great aeons of incorruptibility.  And they go to Druagga.  They go in to the powers, accusing the great ones who are in their glory."- the Second Apocalypse of Timothy
"The case of Druagga, Thrall of Mormo is a perplexing one. It is mentioned in the Second Apocalypse of Timothy. For those of you unfamiliar with this gnostic text it was discovered in 1946 in an excavation site in the city of Thebes. Reports from the archaeological team stated that this was the most well preserved document of it's kind. Unfortunately the book, as well as the entire team of scholars and workers, were lost during a violent sandstorm. All that remains of their find are photographs of the first, eleventh and seventy-second pages." - Jasper Moradi ('Theology To Theosophy Podcast' episode twelve)

As if this week weren't bad enough...

The Devil's Interval presents 'By Route Obscure and Lonely'

Mr Creepy Pasta presents "Neptune's Fancy" by Vincent V Cava

Maple Creepy Pasta presents "Mayhem Mountain" by C.K. Walker

Oh Kurt, if only you could have stayed to see this...

This is the reader that Dr. Seuss needs...

PLAID STALLIONS looks pretty sporty!


Sunday, January 29, 2017


"The voice on the radio was a woman’s, it was smoky and deep, like a jazz singer coming into her prime..." -Brian Foster
"This is Sweet Jane coming from you atop Chamber's Peak. It's been a busy day here in our five cornered town, so let's get right to the news. Rumors continue to fly that incoming Mayor is actually a superhero with the proportionate strength of a flea but a lawyer for Timothy Knight insists that this is simply not true and that his client just happens to enjoy drinking  blood." - Sweet Jane 'Muldwych After Dark' January 29, 2012
"The station that broadcasts Muldwych After Dark has no call sign and there is no town of Muldwych Corners on any map. The show normally discusses local events and insane unworkable theories on about the unending chain of linked cosmos-atoms which makes up the immediate super-cosmos of curves, angles, and material and semi-material electronic organization." -Brian Foster
"Don't forget to check out the new frozen custard stand over by Hanson Square. If their strawberry sundaes don't snap you out of your post holiday blues you can head right over to the recently renovated Lethal Chamber." - Sweet Jane 'Muldwych After Dark' October 10, 2015
"Sometimes I'm sure the whole thing is a put on, some kind of prank put together by a cabal of ham radio operators and performance artists. But other times, other times I listen and believe every word I am hearing." - Brian Foster
"I would like to remind all of you out there that we are still under martial law until local authorities can find a way to deal with the shoggoth that was accidentally summoned by last week's community theater production of MacBeth." - Sweet Jane 'Muldwych After Dark' March 3, 2016
"Another recording of Muldwych After Dark has come my way, this time the transmission was caught by a SETI monitoring station during a routine sweet of the Haydes star cluster. Once I clean up the audio I am going to send it your way. Get this Brian, she's talking about you." - Bunny Joe
"Warning! Objects on your radio are closer than they appear." - Sweet Jane 'Muldwych After Dark' April 1, 2015

Another glorious episode of BRANDON'S CULT MOVIE REVIEWS!