The specialized moves in the sport of Extreme Nerd Cagefighting are 'the Windmill', 'the Kick and Run' and 'the Slappy Shatner'.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
His wife just didn't understand him anymore, mostly because he refused to speak anything but Klingon.
"I died and went to Valhalla," Hrothgar explained, "but it was like a popularity contest with broadswords."
Abner Deggent believed that you should speak softly and carry a big stick. And a handgun. And some dynamite. And condoms.
Friday, July 9, 2010
Martha Frick sat on the edge of the yellow and orange flower-patterned chair Billy bought for five dollars at a yard sale and waited to accept condolences from the handful of mourners. The very chair where Billy was sitting when the stuffed and mounted moose head broke away from the wall and struck and killed him...
"You must take my word Grace, Matt is a fine young gentleman. He's kind and very bright. And he's a businessman, he's got his own fishmonger's"; she said talking to Grace and the rest of the customers, who nodded interestedly in return...
MADISON (WKOW) -- Police arrested a man from Racine after he slammed his SUV into Visions Night Club.
Officers say 50-year-old Keith Rasmussen was asked to leave the club after vomiting in the VIP area. After that, witnesses told police Rasmussen got into his SUV, put it in reverse and slammed into the club's entrance. Police say the entrance has significant damage...
...When police pulled up to Rasmussen's vehicle, an officer asked him how he was doing. Rasmussen replied, "Not good," but he had "seen some nice strippers."
Rasmussen denied driving the SUV and claimed he arrived at the location thanks to help from "Martians."
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Bern was a meticulous planner often sketching out every contiguous detail. His current scheme, however, was born spontaneously in order to take full advantage of Natasha's proclamation that they were leaving for San Diego in the morning...
Of all the super heroes in the world the powers of Dismembro were considered the most disgusting.
Many suggested it about time that Mighty Woman updated her armored costume but she was very attached to it welded into it actually.
Judy would have been better at witchcraft but she was a terrible cook.
Pricing Paradox Protection kept people from buying time machines and using them to see time machines would go on sale.
He quit his job by setting his pants on fire, he was always one for burning his britches.
He was very excited at the prospect of wife-swapping but then he found out he had to take his old wife back when it was over.
The Maven deduced Limerick Master's true identity! He really was a young man from Nantucket! But the rest was all lies.
Abner Deggent tried to smuggle the stolen idol off the island by hiding it in his ass but the damn mule kicked the crap out of him.
Professor Lindquist spent a year running tests on sleeping fish only to discover that a dream is a wish your carp makes.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
They are out of bread in the Wastelands but there is still plenty of ale; I will show you beer and a handful of crust.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Monday, July 5, 2010
Azathoth the lord of chaos pulsed to the sound of idiot piping, yet it found the sound of the vuvuzela pretty fucking annoying.
After twenty-five years of marriage the only thing that upset her more than her husband was the thought of living without him.
Abner Deggent grinned as the native girls undressed him, he had misheard when they said they were there to baste him.
To Lorelei the best part of magic was learning the secrets of the cosmos and using that knowledge to beat the crap out of someone.
Supervillian Chef Julia Infant hated it when her pastry-based minions were called Doughnut Men she preferred People of Cruller.