Sunday, November 14, 2010

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred and One Through One Thousand Six Hundred and Fifty

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred and One


A demon attacked the public pool, terrified swimmers soiled themselves and were caught between the devil and the deep blue pee.



5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred and Two


The super villain Pink-Eye could shoot sticky webbing from his oversized tear ducts and had a mucus healing factor.



5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred and Three


He always wanted to be a time traveler that dream came true as he grew older he found a year passed in what seemed like months.



5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred and Four


When the voters elect a politician obsessed with masturbation they're going to have a mess on their hands.



5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred and Five


No one liked Freud-Man's battle cry of “Your Mother”!



5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred and Six


“In the choice between the Presidency and alien abduction always take the latter. At least you go home with some of your ass left.”



5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred and Seven


“This is the story of Splat Masterson, the cowboy with the weakest bowels in the Old West.”



5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred and Eight


He had so many prostitutes living at his house that it inspired an episode of Whoreders.



5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred and Nine


From the people that brought you FACEBOOK THE MOVIE comes LEMON PARTY THE MUSICAL!



5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred and Ten


He worked hard to become the manager of a sub shop but the jealous rival torpedoed his career.



5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred and Eleven


Blue Bolt ran at super speed from the East coast to the West coast, tripped and blundered into a tree. It was a total face palm.



5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred and Twelve


She was a retired veterinarian that still performed neutering for extra cash but sadly she was still on a fixed income.



5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred and Thirteen


Abner Deggent knew war was Hell but thankfully hiding then shooting your enemy in the back was a kind of Purgatory.



5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred and Fourteen


One of the first superheroes was the pilot known as Biplane Boy, even in this modern age many masked avengers still give him props.



5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred and Fifteen


Alone on a desert island Abner Deggent had to use his penis as a fishing pole. (You don't want to know how he got bait.)



5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred and Sixteen


“He's a tightrope walker and a serial killer?” Amazing Ed said in disbelief, “That's seriously unbalanced.”



5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred and Seventeen


A trio of husky gay men helped a lost girl find her way out of the woods, it was an all new 'Goldilocks and the Three Bears'.



5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred and Eighteen


“There are vampire ballerinas close by,” Jason Magwier warned, “keep on your toes.”



5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred and Nineteen


The bounty hunter earned one hundred dollars for every pirate head he brought back, twenty dollars for a nose and a buck an ear.



5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred and Twenty


The accident left the fortune teller known as Mystery Mike with a glass eye and a crystal ball.



5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred and Twenty One


She was a paranoid sociopath with passive-aggressive tendencies so she rose through the ranks of the IT department fairly quickly.



5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred and Twenty Two


Gary was so broke that his only pleasure was putting his bills on direct pay and letting them fight it out when his paycheck hit.



5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred and Twenty Three


The stripper wasn't crying, it was just that giving Smelly Marvin a lap dance had set her eyes watering.



5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred and Twenty Four


He was elected to the presidency of the STAR TREK fan club but his enemies began to spread rumors he was a secretly BABYLON 5 Fan.



5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred and Twenty Five


It wasn't just the sinners that got left behind during the Rapture, it was also anyone that had ever owned a set of TruckNutz.



5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred and Twenty Six


Even after the apocalypse the barbarian tribes had email accounts, but they preferred to use the .crom domains.



5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred and Twenty Seven


She volunteered for experiments involving the injection of rabbit DNA into her body, all got out of it was an ingrown hare.



5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred and Twenty Eight


Alone on the horse farm he could pursue desire for bestiality with unbridled passion.



5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred and Twenty Nine


He was so good at running DUNGEONS & DRAGONS games that he charged for it- on a per diem basis of course.



5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred and Thirty


Gladys wasn't in the mood but her husband whined until she gave him a hand job, The whole experience left her feeling testy.



5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred and Thirty One


Super heroine Radio Girl's wedding was pretty lackluster but she had quite the reception.



5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred and Thirty Two


She didn't like that large breasted women being too close to puppets garnered more concern than troops being too close to IEDs



5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred and Thirty Three


She carefully worked on canning her fruit preserves while listening to soft rock. She loved jamming softly to soft jams.



5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred and Thirty Four


It was obvious the number of books written by reality stars was greater than the number of books reality stars had actually read.



5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred and Thirty Five


Few Americans survived the Night of The Flesh Eating Snuggies.



5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred and Thirty Six


One member of the super-team was Girl-Lizard, she had the power to turn into a reptile but mostly found herself on monitor duty.



5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred and Thirty Seven


Norman Glass always tried to date girls that were way out of his league but he never through of them as beyond the norm.



5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred and Thirty Eight


In the future the Catholicism will be replaced by the Church of Rocky Horror because most people will find it a lot less gay.



5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred and Thirty Nine


Most dominatrixes aren't open during the holidays so Mistress Cruella's '12 Days of Fist-mas' were very popular.



5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred and Forty


Did his wife suspect the woman delivering her baby was also his mistress? If she did it was going to be a real mid-wife crisis.



5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred and Forty One


The new re-release of the original Star Wars trilogy included footage of George Lucas sitting in a tub full of money and laughing.



5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred and Forty Two


Undressing Lola made him feel like a kid in a candy store so he certainly hadn't expected to end up with a mouthful of pop rocks.



5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred and Forty Three


Everyone remembered the super heroine called 'The Brown Spider' but no one had seen since her since she became a recluse.



5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred and Forty Four


Sexual relations with a ghost was much more exciting than she had expected, but when it was over she had to sleep in the cold spot.



5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred and Forty Five


Eventually they learned that they could make clawed mutant super heroes even more deadly by giving them adamantium kidney stones.



5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred and Forty Six


Nazi mastermind Colonel Wilhem Screame had a unique and high pitched battle cry.



5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred and Forty Seven


Abner Deggent had faced cannibals, dinosaurs, and communist mercenaries but whenever his ex-wife was in town he panicked.



5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred and Forty Eight


Abner Deggent always brushed his teeth and flossed after visiting a whorehouse, it was good moral hygiene.



5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred and Forty Nine


Could Abner Deggent survive a gunfight at the sewage treatment plant? It was pretty much a crap shoot



5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred and Fifty


Abner Deggent insisted that whatever happened on Sheep Island stayed on Sheep Island but his friends said that was wooly thinking.


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