Thursday, March 20, 2025

FRESH OFF THE BUS FROM CREEPYTOWN: Tourist Trap


by


Al Bruno III



The living dead shambled aimlessly down the street, their clothes and flesh in tatters. Heart pounding, I angled the van around them as best I could. Their slimy fingers flailed at the vehicle as it passed, leaving streaks across the metal.  

Niagara Falls had been a desperate hope—maybe there would be settlements on the Canadian side. Instead, abandoned cars clogged the roads, and shattered storefronts gaped like broken teeth. The Pancake House burned, grocery stores had been looted clean, and zombies milled inside a department store showroom, gnawing confusedly on half-clothed mannequins. Every few miles, I tried the CB radio, searching for any voice, any sign of help.  

Beside me, the passenger seat overflowed with ammo and weapons. Medical supplies and food were in the back with Lyta, who panted through each contraction. None of this had been planned—you have to understand that. None of it.  

Florida had been home once, but everyone had been heading north since the outbreak. The theory was that colder temperatures might slow the undead. Whether it was true or not, it seemed worth a shot.  

Lyta had been stranded on I-90 when I found her, her Volvo hopelessly clogged with zombie remains. They had begun swarming her car. Pulling over, I took out enough of them to give her time to run for my van.  

Over the last year, my aim had become deadly precise. When this all started, I hadn’t even known how to fire a gun. Guess all those hours playing DOOM had finally paid off.  

At first, I thought I’d drop her off at a settlement. When I asked where she was headed, she gave a simple answer.  

“North.”  

And just like that, we became traveling companions. It felt good to have someone to talk to again, someone to watch my back while foraging. She wasn’t stunning, but maybe she could have been, if not for something... sour about her looks. Still, she was good company, and in the back of the van, when we made love, she was eager and welcoming.  

That was then. Now, the gas gauge hovered at a quarter tank, and Lyta moaned in pain. Twenty hours of labor, and still no baby. If something didn’t change soon, she was going to die.  

Desperate, I tried the CB again. A settlement, a military base—anywhere with a doctor. Silence.  

I should have pulled out. Or worn a condom. But she’d told me she couldn’t have kids, something wrong with her ovaries. Something gynecological—I don’t remember exactly. But she got pregnant anyway. Figures. I’d never won a damn thing in my life before.  

Then an idea hit me. Ocean World was up ahead. The place had rides, animal exhibits—dolphins, killer whales. A place like that had to have first aid kits. Maybe several.  

Lyta gasped my name over and over as I pulled into the empty parking lot. We passed the skeletal remains of a bear, but otherwise, it was clear. Probably, the zombies had already eaten everything here months ago. They weren’t picky—I’d seen them devour anything from cows to kittens. Still, they seemed to prefer human flesh. Maybe we just tasted better.  

I parked as close to the main entrance as possible. Lyta was beyond walking now. Promising to find a cart, I made for the entrance, but she clutched at me, begging not to be left behind.  

Fifteen minutes. That’s how long it took to calm her down. Jesus. Fifteen minutes wasted.  

Locking her inside the van, I grabbed my rifle and handgun, stuffing extra ammo into my jeans pockets. Hopefully, I wouldn’t need it. But zombies were like cockroaches. They got everywhere.  

Ocean World must have been fun once. Now, the overgrown grass swallowed walkways, and rides creaked in the wind. A sign pointed toward the Visitor’s Aid Station—my destination.  

Most of the animals had died in their pens, likely of starvation. The bears hadn’t been so lucky; zombies had gotten to them first, stripping them to the bone.  

Movement near the "Snack Shack" caught my eye. Two zombies staggered in front of it, grotesquely bloated. I huddled against the aquarium building, considering whether to take them out. Gunfire might attract more. Instead, I decided to cut through the aquarium and take the long way around.  

The archway above read: Explore the Wonders of the Deep. Inside, darkness swallowed me whole.  

I’d forgotten the flashlight, but there was no turning back now. The stench of rotting fish filled the air. My fingers brushed against glass tanks slick with condensation and filth. The passage curved—was I going in circles?  

Then, the sound of wet, dragging footsteps.  

Something moved in the shadows.  

I called out. No answer. The figure lurched forward.  

I fired. The shot missed. The muzzle flash illuminated a zombie—an Ocean World tour guide, now a grotesque husk.  

The bullet shattered a fish tank. A torrent of water and dead barracudas slammed into the zombie, knocking it off balance. As it struggled to rise, I took another shot. It twitched once, then stilled.  

Slumping against the wall, I struggled to push down the exhaustion. There were times, before Lyta, when I had thought about ending it all. Held a gun under my chin, waiting for courage. It never came. The idea of oblivion scared me. The idea of something after this? That scared me more.  

But I couldn’t die now.  

The Visitor’s Aid Station was stocked. Bandages, antibiotics—wheelchairs.  

Grabbing one, I ran back. No detour through the aquarium this time. Two shots took down the zombies near the "Snack Shack."  

Lyta was hyperventilating when I reached her. A damp stain darkened the crotch of her sweatpants. Not blood. Not water. Something else.  

Not good.  

She kissed my hand, murmuring, “I didn’t think you’d come back. I love you.”  

I shushed her and started loading her into the wheelchair. Every movement sent pain slicing through her.  

Halfway to the Visitor’s Aid Station, something in the amphitheater caught my eye. A massive black-and-white shape floated in the murky water of the whale tank. Had that been there before?  

Zombies crawled across its bloated body like maggots.  

One tumbled over the edge, landing on the ground with a wet smack. Others followed, spilling out of the tank like a nightmare.  

Lyta screamed.  

Gripping the wheelchair, I ran. The station was just ahead.  

Then the wheel hit a crack in the pavement.  

The chair pitched forward. Lyta slammed onto the ground. The impact sent me sprawling.  

Zombies closed in.  

Three shots dropped as many, but the rest came on, relentless.  

Lyta struggled to rise, too swollen, too weak.  

“Save yourself!” she gasped. “Leave me!”  

Could I? Without her, I could outrun them. And she might not survive childbirth anyway.  

The settlements in the north called to me.  

Legs tensed.  

The squelching of undead footsteps filled the air.  

Then—  

With a roar, I hurled the wheelchair into the horde. It knocked several over, but the others pressed on.  

Somehow, I lifted her and ran.  

By the time I reached the station, every muscle burned. Lyta moaned, contractions wracking her body.  

Cold hands latched onto my neck, yanking me backward.  

I screamed.  

Lyta grabbed my pistol and fired over my shoulder. The hands loosened. She kept shooting.  

Hours later, barricaded inside, I watched her breastfeed our newborn child.  

The undead loomed outside. Our supplies dwindled. Escape seemed impossible.  

But for now, none of that mattered.  

For now, we were still alive.  


Saturday, March 15, 2025

This is Channel Ab3 Episode Thirty-Two: The Night Blogger -The Graveyared Game Part Two


Join The Night Blogger as he unravels the story behind 'The Graveyard Game' in a spine-tingling tale of possession and the supernatural.


'The Nigt Blogger - The Graveyard Game Part Two: Back From The Shadows Again' was written by Al Bruno III

It is Dedicated to the Memory of Vanessa Bruno

It was produced by Brain Mansi

The Night Blogger is Brain Mansi

The voice of Mike Whitehead is Melle P.

The voice of Sara Bishop is Vanessa Bruno

The voice of Detective Bradshaw is David Cummings

The Night Blogger theme was written and performed by Nicolas Gasparini

The credits were read by Daniel Johnson

Our unpaid scientific advisor is Adam J Thaxton

The Channel Ab3 theme was written and performed by Rachel F Williams

Channel Ab3 logo was designed by Antonio G 

Episode Artwork was by Mike Leonard

Are you enjoying the show?

Become a recurring subscriber.

Or make a one-time donation!

Are you in the market to sell your home, find a new home, or just explore real estate investment opportunities? Don't hesitate to get in touch with me!

This is Channel Ab3 is distributed and licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial Sharealike 4.0 International License


Check out this episode!

Saturday, March 1, 2025

This is Channel Ab3 Episode Thirty-One: The Night Blogger - The Graveyard Game Part One


Join The Night Blogger as he unravels the story behind 'The Graveyard Game' in a spine-tingling tale of possession and the supernatural.

'The Nigt Blogger - The Graveyard Game Part one: The Graveyard Game' was written by Al Bruno III

It is Dedicated to the Memory of Vanessa Bruno

It was produced by Brain Mansi

The Night Blogger is Brain Mansi

The voice of Mike Whitehead is Melle P.

The voice of Sara Bishop is Vanessa Bruno

The voice of Detective Bradshaw is David Cummings

The Night Blogger theme was written and performed by Nicolas Gasparini

The credits were read by Daniel Johnson

Our unpaid scientific advisor is Adam J Thaxton

The Channel Ab3 theme was written and performed by Rachel F Williams

Channel Ab3 logo was designed by Antonio G 

Episode Artwork was by Mike Leonard

Are you enjoying the show?

Become a recurring subscriber.

Or make a one-time donation!

Are you in the market to sell your home, find a new home, or just explore real estate investment opportunities? Don't hesitate to get in touch with me!

This is Channel Ab3 is distributed and licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial Sharealike 4.0 International License

 


Check out this episode!

Wednesday, January 1, 2025

This is Channel Ab3 Episode Thirty: February - The Month That's Trying To Kill Me


Join me on a hilarious and chaotic journey through the trials and tribulations of February!

''February- The Month That's Trying To Kill Me" by Al Bruno III

It was produced and read by Daniel C Johnson

Our unpaid scientific advisor is Adam J Thaxton

The Channel Ab3 theme was written and performed by Rachel F Williams

Channel Ab3 logo was designed by Antonio G 

Are you enjoying the show?

Become a recurring subscriber.

Or make a one-time donation!

Are you in the market to sell your home, find a new home, or just explore real estate investment opportunities? Don't hesitate to get in touch with me!

This is Channel Ab3 is distributed and licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial Sharealike 4.0 International License


Check out this episode!

MY SUITCASE OF MEMORIES: I Fought The Stone And The Stone Won

 


by
Al Bruno III
 

Most people have adversaries in their daily lives—a snotty co-worker, a shiftless in-law, or a rude neighbor. I have a whole month that’s out to get me. For some, February is the shortest month; for others, it’s Black History Month, and for others still, it’s the month of Valentine’s Day.

But for me, February is the Month That Dripped Blood.

Fact: I was working at Nice Shopper, and it was the coldest day Albany had seen in a lifetime and a half. It was close to -20 degrees with the wind chill, so naturally, I was sent out to get carts. The wind had blown all the carts to the far end of the parking lot, and I could only retrieve them in sets of three because anything more would get blown over. By the time I had finished, my hair was swept back from my reddened face, and I felt like a character from a Robert London story. There were lines at every cash register, so I threw off my coat and set to work. It took my cold-addled mind a few moments to realize that everyone was staring at me. Finally, one of the cuter cashiers said to me, “Al. Your nose.”

Visions of frostbite filled my head as I grabbed for my face, and my fingers brushed the stalactite of frozen boogers dangling from my right nostril. Sure, some of you out there might think that was pretty funny, but it’s snot.

(…Auuuuugh yourself—this is quality material here.)

That was the start of a long week.

Fact: It was my junior year of high school, and I was trying to play the field, attempting to romance both my beloved Lilly and a sophomore girl of dubious sanity but considerable cleavage. I figured if my brother and father could do it, why not me? Besides, if I was going to try and get my friends to call me ‘The Love Machine,’ I damn well better be sure to back it up.

Of course, I hadn’t actually told either girl that I was playing the field. I guess I was trying to be more or less the stealth bomber of love. It was the afternoon of Valentine’s Day when most of my friends started trying to beat me up. Now, with my friends, this wasn’t necessarily a rare occurrence, but they had never been so organized before. Finally, I confronted them, hoping to reassert my position as the Alpha Nerd with a combination of guts and memorized dialogue from Doctor Who. Then I saw each and every one of those sneaky bastards standing around Lilly. Now, this was too much. They were trying to move in on my main squeeze! I barged into the middle of them and asked what the Hell was going on.

That was when Lilly confronted me with her Valentine’s card. Well, actually, it wasn’t her Valentine’s Day card; it was the other girl’s, but I had accidentally switched them.

Yeah, that was the start of a long week.

Fact: My first bout with kidney stones came the same week that my beloved mother-in-law had a heart attack. (And that is no sarcasm; I do love her bunches.) I tried to stick it out, hoping the whole thing would literally pass, but no luck there. So, I had to have my wife drop me off at the emergency room so I could get better while she took care of our daughter; they were both exhausted by the ordeal.

To this day, I am not sure what route my wife took to the emergency room, but I can only assume somewhere, she took a side trip to the Twilight Zone because that night was one of the strangest of my life. It began simply enough, with lots of waiting, then when they finally admitted me, they had me dress in one of those drafty hospital gowns and left me sitting on a bed in the hallway.

Why, you might ask? Because it was another cold February, and all the local homeless people were checking themselves in for phantom ailments so they could stay warm. The place was packed; it was standing-room only, or in my case, trying-to-sleep-in-the-hallway-with-your-ass-hanging-out room only. The hobo sitting on a bed closest to me decided to strike up a conversation, and if I hadn’t been so tired and miserable, I might have asked him what Tom Waits song he had escaped from to torment me.

Instead, I just listened to his tale of travel, of his Native American wife, whom he only got to see twice a year or so because she lived in Canada.

And, by the way, Canadian women? Between this and all the nerds who say they have girlfriends up there, I have to say, get some standards, for heaven’s sake.

Apparently, my hobo friend took my bleary-eyed indifference as a sign of friendship, so he tried to give me one of his less filthy hats as a present, but that was when the doctor showed up to get me the medical care I so desperately needed. I was never so happy for a painful and invasive prostate exam, and yes, that includes the one at the Eden Studios Christmas party.

With a prescription in hand, I called a cab to take me home, and wouldn’t you know it, of all the cabbies I could have ended up with, I got the one who wanted to try and get me to invest in the television pilot he was trying to film in Vermont. This was not what I needed because I can honestly say that as a wannabe writer who loves to talk up his latest hopeless project, there is nothing more annoying than a wannabe writer trying to talk up his latest hopeless project.

The cab ride ended before he could get into the intricacies of his series bible, but when you’ve heard the pitch for one series that combines elements from *Antiques Roadshow* and The Indiana Jones movies, you’ve heard them all.

So I got home and unlocked the front door, only to find my wife had put the door chain on as well. I chuckled over this and knocked on the door. About ten minutes later, I remembered my wife mentioning that she wanted nothing more than to take a sleeping pill and turn in. After another ten minutes of homeless knocking, I started walking to the local 24-hour diner so I could use the payphone and wake my missus up.

It was going to be a long walk.

So, where does that leave us today? First off, I woke up feeling profoundly squishy inside, and I spent most of my shift trying not to erupt into a series of farts that would sound like an AMC Hornet drag racing with a tank full of bad gas. Then I had a training seminar in the afternoon. I believe it was focused on budgeting our time more effectively to improve shareholder value… well, at least that’s what I think it was about. I fell asleep ten minutes in because I had been up all night writing blog entries.

Somehow, I made it through my shift without skid-marking my underwear, so I headed home, but first, ironically enough, I had to stop for gas. I’d been putting off refueling because it had been so darn cold out the last few days, but there was no putting it off any longer. I got to the gas station, popped open the tank, and then realized I was on the wrong side of the pump, so I spent a few moments dodging other cars and getting my car lined up correctly. Then I went in and bought twenty dollars worth of gas. And I started pumping.

But there was something wrong with all the pumps on that side of the station, and it was pumping gas at about the speed of a penny a second. As I stood there shivering, watching my twenty dollars’ worth of gas move like twenty dollars’ worth of molasses, I thought to myself—it’s gonna be another long February.

But aren’t they all?

 


Tuesday, December 24, 2024

A Bit of Christmas Fun: Campbell Playhouse: A Christmas Carol


A Christmas Carol (1939) – Campbell Playhouse

Director: Orson Welles
Writer: Charles Dickens (adapted by Orson Welles)
Producer: Orson Welles for Campbell Playhouse

Orson Welles – Host and Scrooge
Joseph Cotton – Bob Cratchit
George Zucco – Jacob Marley
Edgar Barrier – The Ghost of Christmas Past
Paul Stewart – The Ghost of Christmas Present
Ray Collins – The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come
Everett Sloane – Fred, Scrooge's Nephew
Agnes Moorehead – Mrs. Cratchit
Bert Lytell – The Ghost of Christmas Present (also credited with a part in some variations of the cast)
Ernest Chappell – Radio Announcer


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A Bit of Christmas Fun - Lux Radio Theater: It's A Wonderful Life


Lux Radio Theatre – It’s a Wonderful Life (1947)

Director: William Keeley
Producer: Irving Cummings
Adaptation: Joe Granby
Music: Leigh Harline

Jimmy Stewart as George Bailey
Donna Reed as Mary Hatch Bailey
Lionel Barrymore as Mr. Potter
Thomas Mitchell as Uncle Billy
Henry Travers as Clarence, the Angel
Beulah Bondi as Mrs. Bailey
Frank Faylen as Bert, the cop
Ward Bond as Ernie, the cab driver
H.B. Warner as Mr. Gower, the druggist


Check out this episode!