5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Fifty One
As far as Karl was concerned all panties were edible- some just needed more chewing than others.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Fifty Two
The Mage, Warrior and Thief entered the tavern- it was ladies night and they were looking to score.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Fifty Three
He realized that stealing and smashing open piggy banks was a bad habit but it was too late for change.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Fifty Four
Magwier knew that shouting "Oh snap!" after reading one of the Psalms aloud created more metaphysical questions than it answered.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Fifty Five
The Local Heroes were ecstatic to learn that Amazing Ed had gotten a real costume- then horrified to discover it had nipples.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Fifty Six
The calls were monitored for quality assurance- no one knew who was listening. Just that co-workers would occasionally disappear.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Fifty Seven
Abner Deggent had seen war and torture and been unmoved, which was why fainting at his nephew's bris was so embarrassing.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Fifty Eight
The strange barbarians spent so much time working out and oiling their bodies that they rarely had time to rape or pillage.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Fifty Nine
Abner Deggent wasn't the sort of man to hit a woman- not when a choke hold was so much more effective.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Sixty
People had been saying things were worse than Hitler for so long that when Hitler did come back no one knew what to say.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Sixty One
Using the dark arts they summoned a pan-dimensional being from outside time; but even it couldn't explain the LOST season finale.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Sixty Two
The Local Heroes crossed paths with The Brotherhood of Evil Janitors and things got really messy.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Sixty Three
From then on he always prefaced "I could eat a horse." with "I'm so hungry" and he was never accused of bestiality again.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Sixty Four
Judy liked going down on her boyfriend but she refused to swallow, she didn't think vegans were technically allowed to.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Sixty Five
Lady Cruella preferred to use soap on a rope so she could have self-cleaning submissives.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Sixty Six
No one in the mansion suspected that every night Catherwood the butler was secretly farting into their hats.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Sixty Seven
It was a great poker game but he'd consumed far too much coffee. The question was should he stay or should he go?
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Sixty Eight
She wanted fame but they rejected her novel, her demo tapes and her every audition; when they rejected her sex tape she gave up.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Sixty Nine
She had been in a twenty-year relationship but then tragically LAW & ORDER was canceled.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Seventy
He stole coffee and sugar successfully but they caught him creaming in his jeans.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Seventy One
Outraged mimes took to the streets of River City; it literally was a quiet riot.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Seventy Two
Abner Deggent bragged he could deal with those pornographers with one arm tied behind his back.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Seventy Three
By now Lorelei was so jaded that when the monster appeared her first thought was that now her term paper was going to be late.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Seventy Four
Commander Infinity was the most powerful superhero on Earth but he had one weakness- asphalt.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Seventy Five
She had studied Ancient Egyptian erotica for years and it was always about the mummy shot.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Seventy Six
He said zombies were a metaphor for the plight of the underclass, that didn't save him from the undead feasting on his testicles.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Seventy Seven
The Mathmagician user her powers to divide up the most of the villains but someone else would have to deal with the remainder.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Seventy Eight
At long last Magwier had possession of the legendary and mystical Maker of Moons- he was surprised to find it had a hand crank.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Seventy Nine
Captain Hero underestimated the abilities of evil chef Julia Infant and she beat the stuffing out of him. “Good gravy!” he gasped.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Eighty
Throughout the 1950's Abner Deggent protected America's interests from Communist spies, mad scientists and cannibal beatniks.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Eighty One
The invisible alien predator didn't realize how squeaky his shoes were until it was far too late.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Eighty Two
It may be common knowledge that Mars needs woman but no one wants to think about what Uranus needs
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Eighty Three
Sure she could get up off the couch and change the channel but the chances were remote.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Eighty Four
She had a terrible singing voice but her ability to combine karaoke and oral sex left her with a captive audience every night.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Eighty Five
Poseidon Lord of the Seven Seas showed up at BP's offices- he wanted to teach them a new meaning for the term 'Top Kill'.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Eighty Six
Once Boogie Fever caused him to lose control of his bowels he really had the Funk.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Eighty Seven
During the Night Of The Lisping Dead you couldn't escape the groans of “Brainth... brainth...”
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Eighty Eight
Someone was killing private investigators by soaking their groins in boiling water. It was a case of hardboiled dicks.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Eighty Nine
Costumed avenger the Maven was in a philosophical mood when she said, “It was the best of crimes, it was the worst of crimes.”
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Ninety
She realized that no only was her life going to Hell in a handbasket but the handbasket in question clashed with her dress.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Ninety One
No one in the Society for Universal Knowledge Systems realized what their initials were until it was too late.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Ninety Two
An obscure legend states that Guinevere fought alongside the Knights of the Round Table- it is called 'The Chick is in the Mail.'
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Ninety Three
Once Lorelei learned the art of magic she realized there were fainting spells and then there were fainting spells.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Ninety Four
He didn't know much about art but he did know he loved rubbing up against bronze statues of gladiators when no one was looking.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Ninety Five
No one suspected that the creator of Mad Libs loved to (VERB) the (NOUN) into a (ADJECTIVE) (NOUN) while a (NOUN) (VERB)ed.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Ninety Six
The androids came from a time when everything in the world was pinkish purple so they were kind of cyborgs from the fuchsia.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Ninety Seven
For years Earth dealt with regular invasions from the bird people of Zetar-7 until finally someone negotiated tweety.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Ninety Eight
When Viking superhero Hrothgar talked wistfully about missing his old battle ax no one realized he meant his wife.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Ninety Nine
As far as Captain Hero was concerned archery-based super heroes were only cool until someone lost an eye
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred
It was a pretty disgusting experience but now she knew that a sandbox and a neighborhood full of stray cats didn't mix.
No comments:
Post a Comment