Saturday, April 10, 2010

5 Second Fiction Six Hundred And One Through Six Hundred And Fifty

5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and One


Like most techs he performed his regular duties with a combination of skill, caffeine and quiet desperation.


5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Two


An online booking error resulted in Eric and his pals spending Spring Break in Amish country.


5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Three


Lenny knew that in a country where competitive eating was treated like an actual sport anything was possible.


5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Four


Morbidly obese Special Agent Mario Krump found it difficult to blend in at the Phish concert.


5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Five


Some superheroes could punch through time, Professor Mystical could pelt metaphysical concepts with loogies.


5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Six


She wouldn't shave her legs and he wouldn't shave his beard; the rasping noise of their lovemaking upset the cat.


5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Seven


It was an itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini that she shoplifted with relative ease.


5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Eight


"What is a poem?" Zeth said, "A poem is a prayer in the darkness that cries out 'Remember Me' again and again."


5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Nine


The Cheerleaders of the Wasteland escaped the mud by making a rope from their clothes. It was the greatest 5 Second Fiction ever.


5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Ten


Somehow his journey down the road of vengeance led him to the off-ramp of horrific groin injuries.


5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Eleven


It was the worst hangover of Lorelei's life but she had been warned that tequila and Theosophy did not mix.


5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Twelve


The enraged ghosts of Elvis, Bobby Darrin and Frank Sinatra went on a rampage destroying one karaoke bar after another.


5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Thirteen


Nature Boy the Lord of the Jungle truly began his big city adventure when he found the mini bar in his hotel room.


5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Fourteen


When superheroes need backup they contacted the woman known as the Consultant- sidekick for hire.


5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Fifteen


Special Agent Mario Krump loved the smell of tear gas in the morning, because he was a mean son of a bitch.


5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Sixteen


The details of how he had survived the multi car pile up were spotty, much like his underwear when it was over.


5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Seventeen


Jason Magwier didn't know how the Cessna had found its way to the spirit world. He mused “An actual plane on the astral plane?”


5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Eighteen


In all the stores it was beginning to look a lot like Christmas, unfortunately it was Arbor Day.


5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Nineteen


Was someone stealing Audra's underwear because they were a pervert or was a pervert trying to make her stop wearing underwear?


5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Twenty


The studies offered irrefutable evidence that not only were people getting dumber, their stupidity was becoming weaponized.


5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Twenty One


All the heroes of River City showed up for Doomsday Girl's funeral, some of the villains too but no one felt much like fighting.


5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Twenty Two


All the heroes of River City showed up for Doomsday Girl's funeral, some of the villains too but no one felt much like fighting.


5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Twenty Three


Each twin felt what the other experienced. Prom night was a disaster.


5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Twenty Four


He was a Retail Messiah, slashing the price of Indulgences and passing the savings on to your soul.


5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Twenty Five


Keeping a diary was boring so she began writing fan fiction about herself, from these humble beginnings a major religion was born.


5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Twenty Six


The aliens replaced all the world's leaders with idiot look-a-likes; things actually improved.


5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Twenty Seven


That night he dreamed of kissing an old girlfriend, coincidentally his wife dreamed she was plucking fuzzy peaches from a tree.


5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Twenty Eight


“I have no patience with computers,” Isobel said, “you stare too long into an operating system and it stares into you.”


5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Twenty Nine


It was the fifteenth annual time travelers convention, tomorrow was the sixteenth annual time travelers convention.


5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Thirty


They tried to cure is impotence with a computerized implant but the firmware failed.


5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Thirty One


He worked as a cliff diver, bear wrestler and stunt driver; anything to avoid working in a call center.


5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Thirty Two


They caught pneumonia making love in the rain but they would tell you it wasn't phlegm they were coughing up. It was desire.


5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Thirty Three


With Captain Hero gone there was nothing to stop Psychotic Kid from doing things his way, so the rest of the team hid his costume.


5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Thirty Four


Very few ax murderers can succeed as corporate supervisors but those that do have teams with the highest productivity levels.


5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Thirty Five


Gary didn't see the point of getting the dishwasher fixed as long as they had a dog.


5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Thirty Six


The 80 year old coprophiliac's fetish for telemarketers caused them to create a Do Not Call list of their own.


5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Thirty Seven


CGI allows elements of two films to be blended but should the cast of Wizard of Oz met the plot of Cannibal Holocaust?


5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Thirty Eight


All the bathroom walls in town advised Greg to call Sue for a good time and he had to admit she was a Hell of a canasta player.


5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Thirty Nine


The best part of there being no afterlife was the chance to get in the last word.


5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Forty


The worst part about there being an afterlife was the long lines for everything.


5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Forty One


The best part of there being an afterlife was the chance to finally get in those long delayed apologies.


Second Fiction Six Hundred and Forty Two


The worst part of there being no afterlife was the lives wasted in anticipation.


5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Forty Three


It wasn't until an army of giant robots attacked the junior prom that Kevin began to suspect his father was a super hero.


5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Forty Four


To keep her husband she had her chin tucked and her nose trimmed but then she really wasn't the woman he'd fallen in love with.


5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Forty Five


It was just like Audra to bring witchcraft to a gunfight.


5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Forty Six


Teen heartthrobs and porn stars share equally obsessive fan bases and roughly equal shelf lives.


5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Forty Seven


It wasn't until his fourth adventure that the Ironcommando discovered that severe allergies and armored battlesuits didn't mix.


5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Forty Eight


Julie was the kind of beautiful, sexually agressive woman all men dreamed of meeting but where then terrified of if they did.


5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Forty Nine


This year's reality show hit followed programming executives as they scrambled to create this year's reality show hit.


5 Second Fiction Six Hundred and Fifty


Everyone expected Amazing Ed to fight Fuego over leadership of the team, no one expected him to grease himself so throughly.


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