Friday, November 18, 2011

(Recommended Hotness) London Andrews will be in NYC December 3rd

In the lovely ladies own words;

"As for modeling, I WILL be in NYC that weekend, but I am almost completely booked up with jobs at this point - If you want the chance to shoot, hang out, grab drinks afterwards.... this is your chance. Bring your film camera, your digital, bring your iphone, bring your cool fetish ideas! Hope to see you there!"

 

For more about the even stop by the NSFW LONDON ANDREWS ON THE ROAD

The trailer for THE DOCTOR, THE WIDOW AND THE WARDROBE

First let's take a look at the CHILDREN IN NEED sketch.

And here is the trailer for the DOCTOR WHO Christmas trailer.

Petty awesome huh? And can Matt Smith play the Doctor forever?

And now a musical interlude from Amanda Palmer... SING IT!

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The 11th Doctor hanging out with a robot dinosaur named Kevin? THAT'S AWESOME!

It is at moments like this that I wish I could afford to buy comics...

 

I guess this generation of Whovians has their Frobisher now...

 

 

This mind blasting revalation comes to us via GROONK.NET

 

You know the crazier DOCTOR WHO gets the more I love it...

The trailer for GONE has a Lifetime movie kind of feel to it but that isn't necessarily a bad thing...

...as I get older seem to enjoy things like THE NIGHTMARE AT THE END OF THE HALL more than I do HUMAN CENTIPEDE 2... and my wife will watch them with me which is also a plus!

 

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Dan McDaid draws the Doctor! (and apparently the lucky dog gets paid for it too!)

DON’T GO IN THE WOODS Vincent D’Onofrio's slasher horror film with musical interludes... what did I just say?

A horror film from Vincent D’Onofrio?

A musical horror film from Vincent D’Onofrio?

I am so down for this. 

Trailer comes to us via FAMOUS MONSTERS OF FILMLAND

(Recommended Hotness) A classic image of Faye Daniels...

Daffy Duck creates a love song for the new generation...

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Acthon Packed

Acthon Packed

(An excerpt from Price Breaks And Heartaches)

by

Al Bruno III




It was my day off and I was at Adrian's parent's house, the grid map and cardboard counters were spread out on the floor before us, there were dice and rulebooks within easy reach and of course we had plenty of scrap paper.


By the way, you ever notice some people call it scratch paper? I don't get that at all... you're not scratching it at all, you're scribbling on it.


I guess it's a semantics thing.


Semantics aside we had everything we needed to pretend we were super heroes without having to wear spandex in public.


I believe you kids call it ‘Cosplaying’ now- in our day it was called 'inviting arrests and beatings’.


Semantics again.


"Boy," Daniel said, "I hope this week's game is as cool as last weeks. Spider-Lad really kicked ass."


"I have to agree with you," I said, "it was fun fighting giant robot Presidents. The Frost's ice blasts really came in handy."


"Bah," Gordon frowned, "Patient Zero's powers were utterly ineffective against opponents without an immune system."


For those of you getting confused, as part of the role playing game experience we all made up our own super heroes- I was the Frost a crimefighter with ice powers, Gordon played Patient Zero an man whose power was he had all known diseases and Daniel was playing Spider-Lad.


Not very original I know but Spider-Lad was a marked improvement over his Superguy character.


"Well," Adrian said, "your heroes will be glad to learn that you've gotten a lot of positive publicty from saving the city."


"Awesome!" I said.


"Of course Spider-Lad and the Frost are less than happy to discover they have herpes."


Daniel dropped his dice, "Wha-what?"


Gordon said, "Sorry guys, it turns that Patient Zero's Venereal Blast had a bit of an area effect. I guess I made it too moist."


"Herpes?" I couldn't believe my ears, "Super heroes don't get herpes! James Bond maybe..."


Adrian tried to hide his smirk, "Sorry guys."


This was the thing about role playing games, to a certain level you were at the mercy of the story being created by the game master and it seemed like Adrian didn't enjoy seeing his players having more fun than he was.


So why did I keep playing?


I still ask myself that question.


Once Spider-Lad and the Frost had added some medicated lotions to their utility belts the game got started.


"This is so lame," Gordon said, "what super team patrols the streets on ten speed bikes?"


"We do," Daniel said.


"Well," I said, "if we had pooled out character points like I said we could have gotten that battle van I picked out but you insisted your character had to have jaundice vision and don't get my started on Spider-Lad's super special power!"


Adrian shouted, "Hey! He had to spend all his points on being able to communicate telepathically with spiders! It's totally in character for him!"


"Just you wait," Daniel said, "that power is going to come in handy some day."


"Back to the game please," Adrian said.


Soon enough our terrific trio bicycled right into danger when we heard a bank alarm go off. We carefully locked our bikes up and headed to investigate. Adrian set the scene.


"You find the bank in a shambles, there is a morbidly obese man heading for the doorway- he's moving at speeds approaching sixty miles an hour!"


"Oh no!" Gordon said, "It's Speedload!"


*


That's right, Speedload, a 300 pound man that can run at roughly the speed of sound. he made fast work of our heroes by charging into us, causing earthquakes with his high speed stomping and in one case blinding Spider-Lad with a well timed flick of his brow sweat.


Once we had been thoroughly humiliated it was time for a pizza break. Since we were gaming at Adrian's house he refused to pay for any of it but probably ate about half of our order when all was said and done.


I wanted to talk about the game and keep my thoughts as far away from reality as possible.


No such luck.


*


"I've got an interview at the arcade next week," Gordon said, "I've been practicing counting change all week."


"You really want this job don't you?" I asked.


"I have two long term goals for my life, one is managing an arcade the other is meeting Peter Mayhew. Now if I could manage an arcade owned by Peter Mayhew..."


Daniel said, "College has been awesome so far, you can ditch class anytime you want."


"I wish I knew what I wanted to do with my life," was all I could say.


Having burned his mouth scarfing down pizza Adrian spoke last, "My Dad'th going to thend me to buithneth thchool next year but firtht he wanth me to work with him in hith T-Thirt Thop."


"I still can't believe your Dad makes so much money off t-shirts with dirty sayings on them." I said casting another glance around the glamorous looking parlor.


"It'th not jutht the dirty thayings, it'th the merchandithing- TV thows and rock bandth."


Gordon smirked, "Didn't you guys get in trouble for selling unlicensed tie ins?"


"Hey man everyone doth that, ethpethially after contherth. Do you know how much they charge for the offithal t-thirtth? We offer a viable alternative. It'th capatialithm at itth finetht."


"Hey Al," Daniel asked, "you still chasing after Lilly?"


"I'm not chasing her, I'm courting her," I explained, "chasing makes me sound desperate."


"I don't know what you thee in her," Adrian sneered, "the's thuch a bitth."


"So, she wouldn't go out with you either huh?"




(For more of the somewhat true story of how I barely lost my virginity, almost missed out on true love and nearly lost my mind click here!)

Thursday, November 17, 2011

(Insane News) Hermain Cain: "We need a leader not a reader."

From THE HUFFINGTON POST

 

According to numerous sources, including The Associated Press, Cain said Thursday at a New Hampshire campaign event, "We need a leader, not a reader." The quote was reported on Twitter by ABC News' Susan Archer as well as AP's Steve Peoples. AP provides some context for the statement, explaining, "He defended recent stumbles on foreign policy and said the president doesn't need to know every detail about every country..."

 

...

 

...

 

...

 

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME????

 

 

The trailer for ALTER EGOS looks just super!

(Recommended Hotness) FUZZYCRUSHES asks us to admire AMERICAN HORROR STORY's Alexandra Breckenridge...

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Nine Hundred and Eighty Six

The local potato farmers sought publicity by posing naked with their produce, but no one was interested in their little tubers.

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Nine Hundred and Eighty Five

Time Travelers with kids have an easier to settling those “He started it” - “No she started it” arguments than ordinary parents do.

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Nine Hundred and Eighty Four

Katie was so excited when her car was towed from a ditch by dromedary beasts, but no one wanted to hear about her camel tow.

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Nine Hundred and Eighty Three

The Democrat Dominatrix always gave her liberal bondage fetishists a fifty cent discoount so they could have Rope and Change.

What the world needs now: SARCASTIC GORILLAS

 

Gavin (we've named him, because the zoo hasn't bothered) gets pretty peeved when visitors to the Jerusalem Zoo applaud him for his dances. So peeved, in fact, that when they start clapping, he stops dancing, gives them a sarky grin, and mimics them precisely. Cheeky fella...

Click here to read the rest.

 

Article found via FARK.com

High fashion or fashion for when you're high? Only PLAID STALLIONS knows for sure!

The first teaser image for the DOCTOR WHO Christmas special makes me feel all tingly!

 

We still don’t have a title, but the first official picture from the Doctor Who Christmas special has now been released by the BBC. And there’s the small matter of a taster of the episode that you can expect as part of the BBC’s Children In Need appeal, tomorrow night...

 

For more stop by the DEN OF GEEK

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

OMG! This guy is actually cooler than I am! How can it be?

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5 Second Fiction One Thousand Nine Hundred and Eighty Two

Superheroes know that the only things that come from rebooting the universe are dead sidekicks and skimpier costumes

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Nine Hundred and Eighty One

He didn't mind his girlfriend popping the zits on his back, it was when she started using her teeth that he got upset.

The trailer for the movie 2016 is... is... I'm not really sure...

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5 Second Fiction One Thousand Nine Hundred and Eighty

The documentary would have featured footage showing how telephone poles are made but there were problems with post production.

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Nine Hundred and Seventy Nine

Mario stopped by the bakery the day after Thanksgiving so he could stock up on day old pastries. He called it 'Snack Friday.'

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Nine Hundred and Seventy Eight

Abner Deggent caught the thief on an abandoned yacht. His wife said it was one of the rare times he had found the man in the boat.

(Recommended Hotness) FUZZYCRUSHES brings some dangerous curves to the yard.

(Recommended Hotness) Faye Daniels' says she feels cute today...

...which makes sense because damnit she IS cute.

 

For more visit Fay Daniels frequently NSFW blog

The trailer for Pixar's BRAVE just confirms what I always say - redheads are dangerous.

(Insane News) "Pervert-pleasing high-heeled mice stompers convicted of cruelty"

 

story found via FARK.com

 

The women, aged 29 and 25, made a film of their “animal crushing” exploits, as the disturbing practice is known, having been promised what the court in Darmstadt heard was a considerable amount of money by a man for the video. ..

...The women did not only step on mice, but also two lizards and three geckos, and ran over 12 mice in a car on the video, the court heard on Tuesday. They also filmed themselves burning mice with lit cigarettes.

The prosecutor said the “animal crushing” perversion was a rare kind of foot fetishism. “Customers who watch films with such content, satisfy themselves according to our information, by watching pretty women slowly step on the animals, while wearing socks, high heels or while barefoot,” she added...

...The authorities used the video made by the women as evidence in the case. The 29-year-old woman was sentenced to a suspended sentence of nine months, and told to pay €500 to an animal protection organisation. Her 25-year-old friend is missing and could not be sentenced on Tuesday. 

The defence lawyer criticised the sentence as particularly harsh. “One has to see that my client did not torture the animals for fun, rather that she needed the money that she had been promised in advance,” he said. He complained that the conditions of her sentence wrecked her plans to move to the United States to study business as she would no longer be allowed in the country.

 

Read the rest of the story at THE LOCAL

Footage of how a woman's mind reacts to meeting me for the first time!

Watch The World’s First Footage Of A Female Brain During Orgasm

 

Friends, what we have here is the "world's first movie of the female brain as it approaches, experiences and recovers from an orgasm." Watch as the body's most complex organ goes from a quiet red to a scorching hot yellow-white, as synapses fire and oxygen levels change...

 

To see the video and read more stop by JEZEBEL

Check out is DOCTOR WHO fan art by thecosmicdancer

THE COLD INSIDE (a serial novel) Chapter Four part one

THE COLD INSIDE

Chapter Four

part one

By AL BRUNO III


Tuesday November 8, 1994




Of all the days of the week, Tristam hated Tuesdays the most. He stood alone at the end of his street waiting for the bus, shivering and stomping his feet. The problem with Tuesdays was that you were stuck. With Monday you had the momentum from the weekend to keep you going. Wednesday was halfway through the week and that made the day seem shorter than it really was. As for Thursday, Thursday was all right because you were one day away from the weekend and that tended to make things less of a drag. As for Friday, well, the saying ‘Thank God It’s Friday’ was thought up for a reason.


Tristam peered down the street, hoping for a glimpse of a familiar yellow shape. No such luck. Blessed Heart used a private busing company and it seemed as though they were never early, except for the days when he was running late of course. He yawned and tried to think about something other than the temperature, naturally his thoughts turned to his encounter with Ariel. Her legs, her breasts, her eyes.


Tristam started to feel warmer and he was more convinced than ever that what was happening to him was more than just vivid dreams. Ariel had been so real that when he had woken he’d found a mess waiting for him.


What had they called it in Health Class? A nocturnal emission? That term had always made him laugh. It made it a wet dream sound like a military operation. It sounded like something his father- that king of empty metaphors and broken promises- would say.


The memory of Ariel had lingered in his mind all through his morning rituals. He’d been so out of it he’d forgotten to feed the bird and change its water- something that would get him royally reamed out later. It was worse than the way he’d felt the day after Monique had let him get to third base, the first time he’d been to any bases at all. That day he hadn’t gotten a damn thing done.


A fresh blast of icy air returned him to the reality of the bus stop. Great. He thought, Now I’m freezing and I’ve got a hard on.


A pair of public school buses rolled past him, they were just starting their routes. Blessed Heart’s classes began an hour before the local High School and ended about an hour later. Mom felt this was a good thing, but Tristam sometimes thought it was more of a case of ‘If I can’t sleep late why should you?’


He wondered if Ariel was sleeping late now, he wondered if she was alone in her bed.



Click Here To Continue

(Recommended Hotness) Wouldn't we all like to get a little closer to London Andrews?

For more lovliness stop by LONDON ANDREWS ON THE ROAD (NSFW).

Monday, November 14, 2011

Sorry friends and readers, no new PRICE BREAKS AND HEARTACHES this week...

Don't worry though we are still on track for the Wensday and Friday postings...

 

You could always go back and read one of your favorite installments...

 

Or share this link with your friends...

 

 

 

The somewhat true story of how I barely lost my virginity, almost missed out on true love and nearly lost my mind!

 

Portrait of the Writer as a Young Idiot by George Vasilakos

 

 

 

Prologue

 

 

 

Chapter One

 

 

Chapter Two

 

 

Chapter Three

 

 

 

Chapter Four

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Six

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Seven

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Eight

 

 

 

 
 
 

 

The story that explains how I went from this- 

 

 

 

to THIS!

 

 

 

The trailer for the movie SAND SHARKS is apparently about sharks that can swim in sand. I think I need to lie down for a while...

MOVING DAY - a short film with sugar and spice and everything nice.

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