Saturday, July 24, 2010

Hey kids! Buy my stuff!

 

Try one of my books! You might like it!
 
 
 
IN THIS TWILIGHT tales of lost gods and fragile transformations

This collection of 13 stories transports you to a world where both dreams and monsters lurk in the shadows, where love and forgotten rituals fight for control of the human heart, and where the madness of eternity can be glimpsed in a single segmented eye. This anthology collects some of the best stories from Al Bruno III's website and includes the novellas 'Chad's Oracles', 'Fully Vested' and 'The Mask Collector', available for the first time anywhere.

Support independent publishing: Buy this book on Lulu.

 

 

IN THE MIDNIGHT OF HIS HEART a novel of horror and obsession

To all outward appearances John Sig is just an old man living a quietly in an empty old house. His one pleasure is when he heads down to the local diner and visits with his favorite waitress Angie. When Angie disappears, John sets out to find her. For an ordinary old man that might seem like a foolish idea but John Sig isn't human, he's a monster living in the shadow of a nightmare thirty -five years old.


 

Friday, July 23, 2010

oh My GOD!!! HUMAN CENTIPEDE COSPLAY!!!!



I am speechless folks...

(Recommended Review) LOVECRAFT IS MISSING continues to make you need a Sanity Roll!


(Insane News) "Man wearing Darth Vader mask robs Long Island bank"



A man wearing a Darth Vader mask and cape robbed a Chase bank branch on Long Island on Thursday, police said.


The thief entered a branch in Setauket at 11:30 a.m. and demanded money from a teller. But instead of using a light saber, "Darth" threatened the teller with a semiautomatic gun.

The teller gave the robber some cash from the drawer.


The Darth Vader thief, described as between 6 feet and 6 feet 2 inches tall, took off heading east through the bank's parking lot...



Read more: http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/man_wearing_darth_vader_mask_robs_jrawp2Q3PbnsdKTz60DQ0L?CMP=OTC-rss&FEEDNAME=#ixzz0uXRiKylL

I have no idea what the movie SUCKER PUNCH is about but these posters have me interested






My SUPA LIFE adds another Twist...


Even The Local Heroes know better than to mess with Mr. Twist!

click here to become a regular reader of MY SUPA LIFE

(Recommended Review) MAD MAD MAD MAD MOVIES' Review of The Forbidden Photos of a Lady Above Suspicion (1970)



A courier arrived recently at the Ducal estates (known locally as "That creepy-ass huge McMansion on the hill, you know, the one with the constant parade of freaks coming and going, oh and the weird, mute doorman with no ears, not to mention the super fat, sexually virile rich dude that lives there" by the local teens). I knew this to be a special delivery by the outward look of the courier alone: riding a creaky, ancient pennyfarthing bicycle, he was dressed in an elaborate peacock cloak and hunched his shoulders like a dog trying to pass a peach seed. His pock-marked face belied a sort of hideous retardation that at once frightened me and aroused my curiosity. Surely only the most powerful of men could control a freak such as this...

Click here to read the rest

(Recommended Reads) "White Horses Flow" by Peggy McFarland

Tabitha grabbed the slimy worm, didn't flinch at all as she pierced its body with the hook. She looked at her daddy, basked in his approval...

click here to read the rest

Thursday, July 22, 2010

(Insane News) "Cross-dressing man caught having sex with dog at English castle"

A CROSS-dressing man was caught having sex with a dog in the moat of a picturesque English Castle, it has emerged.

The 33-year-old transvestite mounted the canine after it ran off from its owner at Pendennis Castle - a historical fortress in southern England built by King Henry VIII - on the morning of July 10, the UK's Telegraph website reported.


The pet's owner had been touring the castle with a friend when the dog chased after the cross-dresser. By the time the woman caught up with her pet, the man was already having sex with it.

Castle staff detained the man as police were called to the scene, a spokesman for English Heritage, which manages the attraction, said..


"This really was a very rare and unusual incident," the spokesman said.

The man was later said to have made a "full and frank confession" to the incident, which remains under police investigation.



Read more: http://www.news.com.au/breaking-news/cross-dressing-man-caught-having-sex-with-dog-at-english-castle/story-e6frfku0-1225895330430#ixzz0uSijCX2K

And now- EVERY VERSION OF THE DOCTOR WHO THEME!!!

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred and Sixty Two

The STAR WARS cosplayer liked to have sex 'Corellian Style' but that was because he was always going Solo.

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred and Sixty One

She left taking with clothes, her make-up and all his shoes. He awoke to find her gone and his toenails bright red.

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred and Sixty

The Legion Of Protectors had battled aliens, vampires and supervillains galore but they thought twice about pissing off 4Chan.

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred and Fifty Nine

"Wizard birthday parties always suck," Audra said, "I mean what to you get for the man who can spontaneously generate anything?"

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred and Fifty Eight

Karl liked to brag that he made ladies' panties wet for a living. He didn't mention he worked in a laundromat.

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred and Fifty Seven

The cannibal spies left Abner Deggent battered.

The Nick Of Time (and other abrasions): Bachelorette

The Nick Of Time
(and other abrasions)
Bachelorette
by
Al Bruno III
The masked Hierophant slipped through the doorway of the stone chamber with the silence and familiarity.

Jason cradled a lifeless woman in his arms, the injuries that had taken her life had left her unrecognizable. “Leave me,” he wept, “I don't need to see you gloating. I won't stand for it.”

“Kneel then,” the Hierophant lowered itself to the ground, its tattered yellow cloak pooling around it. The mask it wore was bestial and skull-like.
*
The chapel on the corner of Scheinbewegung Lane had been abandoned for almost a decade, parishioners having turned their faith and finances to other, more trendy deities. Magwier made his home here, living in secret as his adversaries searched for him in the more secluded and seditious corners of the City of Olathoe.
The door flew open as Magwier and Lorelei fled the sleet and snowfall. They giggled like naughty children. “What did I tell you?” he said, “evil masterminds always have the best buffets.”
*
“You should have contented yourself with memories of what might have been, but you had to have more, you had to sacrifice the possible for the definite, the dream for the reality. Hope is a dangerous thing for creatures like us,” the Hierophant reached to touch the dead girl.
Jason pulled the body away and whimpered when the head lolled bonelessly from side to side.


*
They dried themselves with towels bearing monograms from the Cities’ best hotels. Lorelei was grinning at him, her hair hung in loose strands around her face, she had dyed it fuchsia only yesterday.
“Not too bad for a first date,” he said.
She corrected him, “This was not a date.”
Magwier made a sound of mock frustration, “Talk about playing hard to get.”
“Like I’m going to let a man that can see the future get the upper hand,” she turned and headed into the main room, there were books and notepads piled everywhere, a stereo and records were in the corner, a blanket-covered mattress in the middle of the floor was the only thing to sit on.
“I don’t see the future,” Magwier said, “it isn’t that simple.”
*

The chamber shook with sound of artillery, things crashed and toppled; the ceiling groaned ominously. “Just look at yourself,” the Hierophant said, “you had such plans. You had such determination. You were going to change the future.”

“She was part of that future,” Jason spoke through gritted teeth.

“She lost any hope of a future because of you,” the Hierophant scolded, “you were warned and warned again.”

“I was so sure I could make it right. I was so sure...” he finally looked up, his eyes pleading “Can you fix it? Can you make it better?”

*

Magwier sat cross-legged on his mattress and watched Lorelei make her way through his record collection; she paused occasionally to make a sound of surprise or derision. Finally she chose the album Homogenic and set it on the turntable; the strange and beautiful voice of Bjork began to fill the room.
For a while she stood right in front of the record player, watching the vinyl disk spin and swaying in place to the music. She knew his eyes were crawling over her but that was part of the fun wasn’t it?
Two songs later she sat down beside him.
When he tried to kiss her she shied away.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“You think I’m going to let you kiss me?” Lorelei snorted.
“Well,” he was starting blush, “I did save your life.”
“After you almost got me killed,” she said, “and besides I saved your life first. Remember?”
*
They left the body behind and walked like ghosts through the burning streets. Before they left Jason had insisted on laying the corpse out reverently, he had tucked his jacket beneath her head as though she was only sleeping.

For a time the only sounds were screams and gunfire, then the Hierophant spoke, “I cannot restore her life but I can give you a second chance, and I can give you a handful of them.”

“What do you mean?” Jason asked.

Something that was not quite like aircraft buzzed overhead, it swooped down and pulled a refugee into the sky. The Hierophant waited for the screams to pass then said, “I will allow you to escape death and cheat time, but only your death, only your time. If you are clever that will be enough.”

“The cost?”

“The cost is that each time you partake of my gifts I will be drawn ever closer until finally you birth me into this world like Zeus birthed Athena,” the Hierophant stretched out its arms to encompass the hellish landscape, “and then I will birth this.”

*

When she was ready Lorelei kissed Magwier, showing him that the choice was hers, and then she let things take their course.
He undressed her with all the fumbling finesse of a schoolboy. He gently ran his fingers along the curled scar on her belly- a memento from a knife fight in a petting zoo.
When they were both naked, with her candy-stripe stockings lying across his hastily shucked bluejeans, he raised himself above her and stared down at her uncertainly. He looked almost guilty.
She goaded him on with a well placed scratch to the back.
Lorelei hadn’t been with anyone since summer camp almost two years ago and that boy had been the sweetest of mistakes. She doubted he even remembered her.
Of course for all she knew taking up with Jason Magwier might be an equally bad decision but he was sweet, strange and slightly dangerous. Maybe she didn’t love him, maybe she never would, but she liked him a lot.
So what if things didn’t work out? It wasn’t like it would be the end of the world.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

A pair of films even I am afraid to see... RAPED BY SATAN and TOILET 105

In The Shadow Of His Nemesis chapter seventy three

In The Shadow Of His Nemesis


Chapter Seventy Three


By AL BRUNO III




Saturday, December 4th 1996





What time is it? Isobel wondered, Is must be nearly morning.


The three of them had been walking in silence, ever since the ‘snowball fight’. Zeth was no big loss but it had hurt Isobel to find Hao giving her the cold shoulder as well.


All she had done was stand up for herself. What was so wrong with that?


The terrain had leveled and the trees were becoming younger and thinner. Isobel was sure that if not for the ankle deep snow she would have seen a trail or two, and probably some bits of garbage here and there. She wished someone would just say something, even an “Almost there,” or a “Well that’s it we’re lost.”


Even more than that she wished Galen had been with her and once again she had to wonder what she had done wrong. Why had he been so against this? Angie might be dying- did he really want to just stand by and watch? Wasn’t a friend someone you risked everything for?


Cheryl had certainly thought so.


And look what it got her.


A shape resolved itself out of the darkness, it was waist high and stretched out either way.


It was a guardrail, and that meant there was a road up ahead. Their goal was in sight! All at once Isobel was exited at the thought of seeing signs of civilization- electric lights, cars and Hostess Twinkies.


There was a thick mechanical roar in the distance and a few seconds later a bulky snowplow passed by the blade scraping along blacktop the headlights leaving her eyes dazzled.


“Well, here we are,” Isobel said.


“Not yet,” Hao said, “we’re about a mile or two from town.”


“Oh.”


Zeth walked ahead and stepped over the guardrail then jogged across the road.


“What is he doing?” Isobel whispered, “Can we even trust him?”


Instead of answering Hao just led her towards the road and that made Isobel even more worried. What the Hell was going on? What weren’t they telling her?


The glare from another passing pair of headlights blinded her again and by the time her vision had readjusted she saw Zeth trotting back across the road, there was a canvas gym bag slung over one shoulder.


“Get behind me,” Hao said but she didn’t wait for Isobel to move, she stepped forward.


Zeth slowed, there was something in his left hand.


Isobel’s voice was a scream, “He’s got a gun!”


They all froze in place as another car passed. All sensation of cold and exhaustion left Isobel has she felt her insides coiling up getting ready for would probably be a futile dive for cover.


“He’s got a lot of guns,” Hao said, “did you bring enough for everyone?”


“Oh yes,” Zeth’s chuckle was icy, “but I’m still not sure if I can trust either of you.”


“The best way to find out if you can trust somebody,” Isobel said, “is to trust them.”


Zeth nodded with approval and stepped forward, “Hemingway. There’s hope for you yet.”


“What is going on here?”


He knelt down and began to rummage through the gym bag. He handed an automatic pistol to Isobel, she held it carefully in her gloved hands as though it were a a living thing about to struggle from her grip.


“You should be able to handle that,” he said, “it’s not too different from the one you used before. Now for you Hao I’ve got something with a bit more stopping power.”


Hao’s gloves were already off and she handled the revolver with familiarity. She stared down the sights, “How long have these been waiting for you out here?”


“Just a few months,” Zeth stood, “they’ll work fine. The bag’s water tight.”


The more questions Isobel asked the more stupid she felt but what else could she do? “Why do we need guns?”


Hao said, “Because we’re heading into a trap.”


“Someone poisoned Angie,” Zeth explained, “someone in the house is a traitor.”


“What? Why?” Isobel asked.


“The reward for Galen will be considerable,” Zeth said, “the Monarchs can be very generous.”


“Then why did we even come out here?”


Hao looked back the way they had come, “We have to meet it head on. Better this than waiting to be killed in our beds.”


“Exactly,” Zeth said, “we make a mess of our enemies’ plans while Magwier keeps Roxanne from betraying our location to the Monarchs. Laurel House stays hidden and so do we.”


Hao turned her attention back to him, “You think Roxanne is the traitor?”


Zeth nodded, “Magwier-”


“Oh no,” her voice began to quiver, “oh Phalen’s bones no...”










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Sunday, July 18, 2010

(Recommended Reads) "Alma" by Louise Dragon

"Hey, Mom, who's this," Holly yelled, waving an oval picture frame at me from across the attic.

Could it be, I thought squinting through the flurries of dust motes Holly's waving had created. Alma, my God, I hadn't let myself think about Alma in years. I could feel a pulse throbbing above my right eye as I snatched the picture from my daughter for a better look. The sweet little girl in the picture had large blue eyes and masses of curly blonde hair tied back with an aqua ribbon...

click here to read the rest

(Recommended Reads) "False Alarm" by Peggy McFarland

Miss Palmer gritted her teeth, ignoring the students' whispers while she finished writing on the blackboard. Come on Morty blended with that's gross and Morty, stop it, but the one that Ginny Palmer refused to ignore was teacher's a bitch. She scraped her nails against the surface...

 

click here to read the rest

Panties Half Off part seven

Price Breaks and Heartaches

A journal of retail and failed romance

Chapter Three

Panties Half Off

part seven






One afternoon at the Julia shop Maddie kept me busy out on the sales floor searching for any loose or frayed threads in the rug so I could trim them with a pair of scissors. I was too happy to be annoyed, my car was finally fixed and as a plus it even had a working cassette deck. The repairs would have been done about two weeks ago but an argument between my brother and stepfather had escalated into wrench throwing and they ended up shattering the windshield of my Monte Carlo. I demanded they pay for it but my stepfather explained that it was my own fault for parking it in the driveway.


You have to admit there’s just no way to argue with logic like that.


So there I was clipping away, excited at the prospect of just driving the long way home. My transportation was back, I was free, I was on my own, I was independent again.


Of course I’d had to beg my grandmother for gas money but after the whole windshield thing I’m sure you understand.


So there I was trimming away at stray fibers when a pair of open toed shoes appeared before me, “I heard you were working here.”


“Lilly?” I spoke slowly and softly, not just out of shock but also because the sight of her tended to throw my salivary glands into overdrive.


She smiled down at me, “You look good.”


Since I was down on my knees anyway the thought of proposing marriage right then and there occurred to me but then I realized that might be moving too fast. “You look great,” I stood up and set the scissors down on a shelf. “You always look great.”


“You’re always too nice.”


“That’s me,” I nodded. “Mr. Nice Guy.”


“Yeah, its kinda funny. One of my friends was shopping here and she almost didn’t recognize you until she heard your manager call you a complete idiot.”


I fought to keep my smile even, “Yeah we’re always kidding each other here. One big family. Just like home really.”


“So how are things with you?”


“Couldn’t be better. I’m keeping busy. I’ve got a full plate. How are you? Going to college?”


“Oh yeah. I’m going to get a teaching degree,” she looked away for a moment. “I’m living with Jessie now.”


“Well that’s…” I tried to think of something that would sound positive. “…that’s very cost effective.”


She nodded, “Yeah, its pretty great. What time do you get done with work? I’d love to talk to you for a while.”


“Two hours,” my pulse quickened.


“Any plans?”


“Well my friend Adrian wanted to run a Dungeons & Dragons game about Vikings fighting giant spiders but I really wasn’t too hot on the idea. How about we get a bite to eat?”


“I’d love to,” she said. “It’s a date.”


And then the drooling kicked in.




*



The rest of my day went by like a euphoric fugue the likes of which I would never feel again until the hospital gave me morphine to dull the pain of my kidney stones.


Am I comparing first love to kidney stones? Heavens no, you get over kidney stones…




*



We had dinner at an eatery in the mall that was too shabby to be a restaurant but too clean to be fast food. We talked about high school, about how she missed it and how I didn't. We caught each other up one our family and friends. I told her about the lie detector and Orville but I decided not to mention the more dramatic moments of the meeting.


I showed her my Monte Carlo, proud that the repairs were finally done. I was less proud when the damn thing wouldn't start. I opened the checked the engine but truth be told the only part of the car I really understood was the part that keeps the hood from smashing you in the skull. Lilly said it sounded like either the starter or the alternator and I took her word for it.


It had just started to rain. That meant I had to hurry to catch the bus otherwise I would end up waiting for almost and hour. Lilly told me he would give me a ride home and she wouldn't take no for an answer. She took me the long way back to my house and talked more, we talked so much the we ended up driving past my house and having to turn back.


Throwing caution to the wind I confessed that I knew where she and Jessie lived and sometimes I drove past for no Earthly good reason.


After we passed my house a second time and decided to park and talk some more. The spot she chose was secluded and rarely trafficked. Lilly kept the engine on so we could listen to the radio but I offered to play her one of my mix tapes instead; if she saw the one I slipped into the tape deck had her name on it she didn't say anything. The downpour increased in strength until it sounded like a roar against the body of her car.




*



“Oh no!” she laughed.


“I was waist deep in garbage before I got out,” I said, “The smell was just... ugh.”


“Well I worked at McDonalds for a summer, it was bad. Not as bad as what you went through but bad enough.”


I leaned back in my seat, “Where do you work now?”


“I work at a pet store, they're really good about scheduling around my college schedule.”


“College.” I shook my head, “I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.”


“Who says we have to grow up?”


“Everyone I think,” there was a flash followed by a distant rumble. “I really appreciate the ride home.”


“You're not home yet,” she grinned, but then her expression became serious. “Are you ever sorry you asked me out?”


“No.” I said, “Never. I do wish things had gone differently.”


“How.”


“I wonder if maybe I asked you out too soon,” I stared at the glove compartment, my heart was doing a two-step in my chest, “And I didn't want you to just be my high school romance.”


“I wasn’t your only high school romance,” She had pulled her knees up under her and she had one arm resting on the steering wheel. “What about Lizzie, Agnes and Cath?”


“Those girls didn’t count,” I explained. “At least not past ten anyways. They were just so I could try and get over you. They were disasters.”


“What about now?”


“Now I’m on to fresh new disasters.”


“You don’t sound very happy,” A trio of cars whooshed past their headlights casting her in light and shadow, for a moment the image of her lingered in my eyes and then faded. “Are you?”


“I am right now,” I said, “Are you happy?”


“I... I'm...”


That was the moment I chose to kiss her.


The smell of her perfume washed over, her lips were warm, when she exhaled a shuddering breath I breathed it in. My mixtape had reached Bonnie Tyler's 'Total Eclipse of the Heart' a song I would from then on associate with her.


After that first, sweetest kiss of the night was over I whispered, “I love you.” What the Hell else could I say?


She drew me closer, “You better.”




*



At this point we will tastefully pan away from the scene and I will simply say that I have lots of memories good and bad but there are few memories that shine – the birth of my daughter, the afternoons my wife and I spent together in our apartment in Florida that resulted in that daughter, the first time I saw my name in print and that night. I could never do that night justice with mere words.


I should also stress that since I did not lose my virginity until I was 20 things did not go as far as you might have imagined. Why you might ask, well how shall I say this?


Well let’s just say that in Dungeons and Dragons terms I rolled a critical weapons fumble while my blade was still in its scabbard, before combat had even begun.


I don’t think Lilly never noticed and I never said a word, mostly because I was embarrassed. I’m pretty sure she thought I was being gentlemanly or timid, or both.


Regardless of that my spirits, unlike my shorts, were not dampened. I was in love and for once it wasn't the unrequited kind





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