Saturday, November 6, 2010

Just when you thought you'd seen everything the Internet shows you Chewbacca breastfeeding Macaulay Culkin

This comes to us from artist Sam Spratt and Gizmodo

You can scream now if you want to...

Thursday, November 4, 2010

CORPSE WARS: Attack Of The Crones episode one

Corpse Wars by Jorge Prieto



CORPSE WARS

Attack of the Crones

episode one

by

Al Bruno III


Within the first few days of the crisis the evacuations began, at first people were moved to school gymnasiums and sports arenas but after a few disastrous incursions by the hungry dead martial law was declared and the army started moving the refugees to fortified locations.


A long line of people waited at the entrance to the Watervliet Arsenal; the arsenal was a partially decommissioned munitions factory that the US Army Materiel Command still kept under its thumb. Entire buildings had been cleared to make room for cots and for the distribution of food and medical supplies. Any of the overflow of refugees were consigned to the moth eaten tents that clustered in the parking lot.


Only one entrance was open, the others were triple barricaded. There were snipers on every wall prepared to repel any approaching zombie hordes with necessary force.


Mark Bradford and his parents were waiting with everyone else. Their arms were weighed down with suitcases and knapsacks, they shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot. They had been there for hours.


As if I haven’t spent enough time standing around, Mark thought. He had been waiting to see the new Star Wars film when the ghoulish creatures had attacked. He had barely escaped that first incident with his life and that was only thanks to the timely arrival of his friend Alec.


But that had been days ago, Alec had headed off to make his own preparations, leaving Mark to deal with the love and exasperation of his parents. He was twenty years old but his Mom and Dad treated him like a child, they thought his obsession with the Star Wars films was a sign of immaturity. They just didn’t understand.

All around them people were glued to their cell phones, taking calls and checking news websites. Conversations filtered up and down the line, eavesdropping and misunderstandings were rampant.


“What did he say?” Mark’s mother asked.


His Dad replied, “Something about Libya invading the Netherlands.”


“What?” Mark didn’t think that sounded right, “Why would they do that?”


“They think the zombies are some kind of enemy chemical attack,” his father explained, “their armies marched right across the border.”


“Dad, I don’t think those two countries share a border.”


“Well then,” Mr. Bradford put his hands on his hips, “why don’t you tell me what countries border Libya?”


“Uh...” Mark felt himself blush, “France?”


“These are the end times,” a little old lady said. To Mark she looked like one of those women from Gary Larson’s Far Side cartoons, a frumpy dress, blue hair and horn rimmed glasses.


“Do you really think so?” Mrs. Bradford shivered, “I knew we should have gone to church more often.”


Mr. Bradford waved dissuasively “Don’t get yourself worked up Terry, this is just some kind of virus thing. Terrorists or illegal aliens probably brought it over the boarder.”


The sky was cloudy and a different helicopter seemed to pass overhead every few minutes; some were military, others were from police and the local news. The line for the Arsenal was getting longer and longer, there was already talk about having to turn people away.


What would they do if they couldn’t get in? All the other places were closed and the roads out of Albany were barely moving at all.


“This is God’s judgement,” the old woman continued, “the world is too sinful and the legions of Hell are upon us.”


Mark tried not to roll his eyes but he couldn’t stand people like her. Why was it whenever something went wrong there was someone just waiting to call it divine punishment? Talk about hokey religions. He’d rather have a blaster at his side any day.


Half a sermon later and it was his family’s turn to be admitted. The soldiers at the front gate explained they were going to have to inspect their bags for contraband and guns. At first Mr. Bradford balked at this but then they explained he could keep his liver pills. They also explained they would need photo id for record-keeping.


“Here honey,” Mrs. Bradford said, “take your grandma.”


Mark carefully took the urn. He had never understood why his Mom insisted on keeping his Nana’s ashes.


The soldiers kept their drivers licenses and then carefully opened their bags. “What the Hell is this?” one of them said.


“Mark!” Mr. Bradford rounded on his only child, “What in the name of God have you done?”


Tears welled up in Mrs. Bradford’s eyes as she realized that all their bags save for one had been packed with Star Wars memorabilia.


His father was shouting now, “What the Hell is wrong with you?”


“But... but...” Mark backed up, holding his Nana’s ashes protectively in front of him, “You told me to save the family heirlooms...”



Click Here To Continue


SUCKER PUNCH may be live action Anime or a steampunk remake of BRAZIL with hot chicks or both!

The plot;

 

Set in the 1950s, Sucker Punch follows Babydoll (Emily Browning) who is confined to a mental institution by her stepfather, who intends to have her lobotomized in five days. While there, she imagines an alternative reality to hide her from the pain, and in that world, she begins planning her escape, needing to steal five objects to help get her out before she is deflowered by a vile man....

 

The trailer;

 

Thanks to i09 for the heads up...

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

In The Shadow Of His Nemesis chapter eighty eight

In The Shadow Of His Nemesis


Chapter Eighty Eight


By AL BRUNO III




Saturday, December 4th 1996





Galen stayed face down as they beat Jason Magwier. Experience had taught him that a beating from the Monarchs was as precise as it was cruel. They could keep you in agony for hours, never letting shock or unconsciousness offer you even the briefest respite.


If he’d had the nerve he might have spoken up, he might have told Magwier that this is what playing at being a hero got you.


And this? Galen shifted in his bonds. This is what being a coward gets you...


Mr. Suano and Ms. McGlade were speaking in hushed tones. It sounded to Galen like Zeth had taken Miss. Ginmett off the board and escaped.


Isobel was with them, Galen thought.


Which meant she was gone, would Zeth and Hao protect her? Or would they just take the easy route and kill her?


Her chances are better than mine, Galen realized. There was an irony there, after all the girl should have been long ago.


Jason Magwier began shouting insults, the Drones beat him harder. Galen was sure he heard the familiar sound of a rib breaking.


Did the man want to die? Galen had to wonder what it was like to be so unafraid at the prospect of oblivion.


Maybe it was true, maybe Jason Magwier couldn’t die, or maybe he was one of those foolish people that believed there were things worse than death.


“Enough,” Mr. Sauno turned to face his prisoners. He was dabbing at his discolored tears with a silk handkerchief. The drones dropped Magwier’s bloodied form and stood waiting. Mr. Sauno walked over to Galen and flipped him onto his back. He glared down at him until he bared his throat.


The old instincts never died, Galen cursed them.


Mr. Sauno said, “We’re finished here. Call for an extraction.”


“...extraction?” Magwier’s voice was a drowning whisper, “Are we going to the dentist?”


With a single nod Mr. Sauno set the drones to work on him again.



Click Here To Continue


A quick note for readers of IN THE SHADOW OF HIS NEMESIS

I am running a bit behind this week but should have the latest installment posted by tonight.

Sorry about the delay.

Monday, November 1, 2010

TWITCH gives us the trailer for RONAL THE BARBARIAN

THANK YOU!

I started this blog in October of 2008. Back then it had about 3 subscribers maybe 50 visitors a month.

Now this blog has 120 subscribers and sees around 1,500 visitors a month.

This happened because you spread to word and for that I am grateful.

I will continue to do the best I can to keep you entertained. This year should see the current serial novel wrap up and a new one begin. The expanded version of Price Breaks and Heart Breaks will continue to appear in weekly installments for your amusement.

My participation in #FridayFlash will continue but you will see more of a mix of stand alone stories and multi-part storylines.

I no longer plan to create any more video blogs, I just didn't think I did a very good job with them but I will continue to craft spoken word pieces when I can.

And of course I will keep the 5 Second Fictions coming as often as I can.

So as always if you like what you read here continue to spread the word. DIGG, STUMBLEUPON or FACEBOOK or share your favorite stories, tell your favorite message board about the blog, tell your grandma even if she doesn't have a computer. Go wild.

I think that covers everything but once again thank you all for your continued visits.

Reader can you spare a dime?


If you'e enjoyed any of the work I've posted here why not buy one of my books? Or donate a few bucks? All money donated goes towards new projects, buying art for the blog and why should I have to walk the dog when I could pay someone to do it? I mean my dog is a nice dog but she's got a bladder the size of a teacup...






All donors will be listed on the PATRONS' PAGE!
(And as soon as I get a donor I'll make a PATRON'S PAGE!)



- - - - - - - -


My latest anthology is available!

Click Here For Preview




- - - - - - - -



My story 'In Memory Alone' is in THE BEST OF FRIDAY FLASH















Sunday, October 31, 2010

DAYWALT HORROR: Bedfellows

FEWDIO Horror: The Easter Bunny is Eating My Candy

Watch THE SEPARATION by Robert Morgan

Another scary short film- THE CAT WITH HANDS

HP Lovecraft's FROM BEYOND in claymation form!

The classic 'Lights Out' story THE DARK

What would Halloween be without some Vincent Price and Edgar Allen Poe?



Well this leaves me pretty damn speechless...

Roadside Velvet part twelve

Price Breaks and Heartaches

A journal of retail and failed romance

Chapter Four

Roadside Velvet

part twelve




Once we had time to cool off Paul and I apologized to each other, he explained Max’s long running drug problems to me and I explained the heresies contained within Starfleet Battles. With that done I packed a bag and readied myself for our next extended road trip. Everyone was going on this one; all three of the Casey brothers, Athena and even Paul’s wife. We made a little train of vehicles, two U-Haul trucks and two cars, and headed upstate to Herkimer county.


Herkimer is a small town near Utica and if you’ve got to go to Utica for excitement you’re in big trouble. Another exciting thing about Herkimer is the diamond mines, now these aren’t real diamonds at all but a kind of quartz that looks a lot like a diamond. The town of Herkimer itself is bucolic, almost frozen in time in a lot of ways. It always reminded me of a cross between Bedford Falls and Twin Peaks.


I would return here several times over the course of my life but I’m getting years ahead of things with that.


It’s called foreshadowing and I’m allowed.


And what were we doing in Herkimer you might ask? The answer is four words long- Herkimer County Community College. The school was in the midst of its summer session. Paul told us that if we could get set up near the campus or the student housing we would do brisk sales. Grinning he commented that college kids spent money like sailors on leave. Athena didn’t like hearing that one bit and when she furrowed her brow it was just adorable.



*



“I don’t see where he gets off saying something like that.” Athena paced between the pictures. It was a warm day and she was wearing a red tank top which had caused no end of walk-in business from the young men that lived in the off campus housing.


“I’m sure he was just joking.” I said from the top of the truck with a strip of duct tape in my mouth. The sign was being really disagreeable today.


We had set up business in the parking lot of a long abandoned buffet restaurant. Not only had the bank repossessed the restaurant, another bank had foreclosed on the property the restaurant had been built on. That left everything tangled up in the courts and Paul with a rent free place to do business from. Not that Paul was here now; he and Conrad were off with the other truck at another equally compromised location. Debbie was back at the motel working the phones- apparently there was some kind of problem with the guy Paul had selling brass lawn statuary further downstate.


I’m not really sure where Max was, we would glimpse him only briefly during our week long sojourn in Herkimer and for me those glimpses would be fleeting and Sasquatch-like.


Lonnie was with us and had spent most of the morning sitting in the lawn chair watching the coming and going of customers with dull, suspicious eyes. “I don’t see what Paul said that was so bad,” Lonnie commented. “I spent too much money all the time when I was in college.”


Athena frowned and kicked at the dirt with a sandaled foot, “People Paul’s age can be just as bad with money as people my age. Maybe even more so because they should know better.”


“Just a damn minute here,” I said suddenly. “Lonnie you went to college?”


“Sure I was a liberal arts major.”


“Well, that’s… sobering.”


Athena handed some cash to Lonnie, “Hey why don’t you get us some lunch. I saw a deli the next plaza over.”


My stomach growled at the thought, “Sounds good. Get me a roast beef on rye with Russian dressing.”


“And I want tuna salad.” Athena said.


Lonnie nodded, “And I want a mixed Italian sub.”


We all stood there in silence for a moment, and then Athena said, “You’re going now right Lonnie?”


“Me?”


“That’s why I gave you the money.”


“Oh yeah.”


We watched him drive off and I commented, “He really should have majored in Philosophy.”


“Word,” Athena said with a playful nudge.


We dealt with the next rush of customers easily and then in the lull started talking. I couldn’t help but notice she was smiling at me a lot today.


“Now tell me Al,” she began. “What do you do when you’re not working?”


“I… I uh hang out with my friends,” I said. I decided to try that synchronized breathing thing Arian had talked about. Could I really seduce her so easily? “And I write stories …and work out a little.”


“Oh really? What kind of stories do you write?”


“Well, -Spshew!-” I did the best I could match my respiration to hers. “I write horror and humor but according to the rejection slips I get – Sspshew! – my horror is pretty hilarious and my humor is pretty horrible so I don’t know any more.”


“Al are you ok?”


“Yes. Why do you –Ssspshew!- ask?”


Athena gave me precisely the odd look I deserved at that moment, “You’re breathing kinda funny.”


“Maybe it’s –Sssspshew!- allergies? What do you do when you’re not working here? -Sssspsshew!-”


“Well I don’t do much really but that’s kind of nice. My girlfriends and I went roller-skating up to Guptill’s Arena, it was fun but there were an awful lot of Junior High aged kids hanging out there.”


I smiled as nostalgically as I could while gasping for breath. “I had my first real date there with – Sssspssshew!-”


“Who?


“Never mind.”


“Are you sure you’re not hyperventilating or something?” Athena drew closer her to me.


In my oxygen deprived state I thought that the blurring of Athena’s features and the darkness collecting at the edges of my eyesight was a sign of her arousal. “No… -Sssspsssshew!- it’s just that your beauty leaves me breath – Sssspsssshhew!-less.”


“If you say so.”


“-Sssspsssshhhew!- You know we should totally go to a movie this week. It beats hanging around in the hotel bar all night. How about we- Sssspsssshhhhew!-” my heart was racing; the Earth seemed to rock under my feet. I could feel the moment to make my move rushing up to me…


Well no, actually it was the ground that was rushing up to meet me.


And then everything went black...







Click Here To Read The Rest

THE MANLY ADVENTURES OF ABNER DEGGENT: Raiders Of The Lost Primate

THE MANLY ADVENTURES OF ABNER DEGGENT

Raiders Of The Lost Primate

by

Al Bruno III

The following story was originally published by Eden Studios



Abner Deggent, world-renowned playboy and adventurer was used to being in precarious situations. In the last ten years he had survived shootings, stabbings and airplane crashes, he had tussled with madmen, assassins and femme fatales and left them all lying in the dirt.

The square jawed man in the torn shirt ran into the ancient temple. It was a strange and breath-taking construct of teakwood and ivory. The archeological survey team had constructed scaffolding against the furthest wall, a hasty assembled structure of bamboo and rope. Without proper tools or experience the group of dilettantes and academics had created a comedy of uneven angles and sharp protrusions. But what else could they do? No one had expected the walls of the temple to be so tall, or pictogram history of the Bollue natives to be so elaborate. Weeks that had been intended for exploring the rest of the valley had been lost here as the archeologists scarped away at layer after layer of fungal overgrowth so they could record what they found beneath. It was all Greek to Abner, pictures of misshapen men worshipping a robed masked figure.

And in the end it had all been for nothing for now the temple was burning and a bloody great gorilla was carrying the voluptuous Lady Fiona Peinforte to the top of the scaffolding. "This is too damn much." Abner skirted the flames to draw closer.

All around him priceless relics of a lost culture were being consumed by flames, the rest of the archeological team was either dead or suffering from cholera. The scaffolding they had used to survey the etchings on the temple's high walls was piled high with boxes of plaster for making molds and other equipment. The monstrous ape reached the upper level of the scaffold and threw the Lady Fiona down. Her red hair fanned out behind her as she swooned with helpless terror.

The primitives that had worshipped and made virgin sacrifices here had called the ape Nodyek-Nogk. Loosely translated the name meant 'Immortal Son', they believed that the ape was a child of a god and it's blood… and other bodily fluids could confer immortality.

Abner Duggent shuddered at the memory of the rituals they had witnessed. He has seen some unspeakable things in his time…

There was a crash and Abner fell forward his vision swimming in and out of focus. He turned to see Hoskins standing over him with a hammer. Instinctively Abner reached back and ran his fingers along the base of his skull. His fingertips came back bloody. His mind reeled, this was the financier of the expedition! "My God man! What are you doing? We have to rescue the Lady Fiona!"

Hoskins shook his head, "I'm afraid not. I'm afraid the rescue party will find that I alone lived tell the tale."

"You?" Abner stiffened and then regretted it, the room rocked crazily beneath him, "You're the saboteur?"

"Yes." Hoskins smiled thinly as he advanced, "It was all too easy to frame Jobue."

"It seems I owe him an apology." Abner wished he hadn't lost his sidearm when he'd fallen off that bluff, "But why Hoskins? This discovery would have made you famous."

The older man gestured wildly with the hammer, sending flecks of blood spattering. "Since you are going to die anyway I will explain."

Somewhere up above them Lady Fiona was conscious and screaming again, she was trapped between the bloodthirsty ape and a 30 foot drop into flames. Hoskins continued speaking, oblivious to her pleas and cries, "That beast there, he is the same ape that slew the members of the 1820 Expedition."

"Impossible."

"No not impossible. You see the mushrooms growing up along the walls of the temple, then ones that you so carelessly threw away? Their unique chemical composition actually retards the aging process, in some cases halting it entirely."

"Insanity and superstition. I thought you British were so… rational." he tried to back up but the flames devouring the walls licked at him, blackening his clothes and skin.

"I thought so myself so I had Wilkins double check my findings, before I killed him."

"So, you've been picking us all off one by one so you could get the credit for this miraculous discovery when you reveal it to the world."

Hoskin's laughed heartily "Bugger the rest of the world Degget! I've been killing you all so I can LIVE FOREVER!!!!"

"That was my second guess." Abner said as he shifted trying to keep the smoke and pain from obscuring his vision.

A horrified scream filled the air, punctuated by a crisp tearing sound. A scrap of Lady Fiona's dress fluttered down between them. Hoskins caught the fabric with his free hand and leered at it, "I see that being over a century old has not dimmed the great Nodyek-Nogk's appetite for virgins."

"Look…" Abner said, "You've got what you want, just let the girl go. She's done nothing to you."

Hoskins threw back his head for a hearty laugh, "You are a hopeless fool Deggent!"

That was when Abner made his move, tearing a loose section of the wall loose and brandishing the burning length of teakwood as a makeshift club. The blow connected with the side of Hoskins skull. Abner felt the shock of the impact reverberate up his arm. The bloody hammer clattered to the floor. Hoskins fell back, lost in a curtain of smoke.

Abner held his ground, ready for a second attack. His eyes were watering, his thick muscles were taught and ready. Abner cursed himself a fool, the bastard had played him expertly, it all made sense now.

Abner realized he owed their native guide Jobue more than an apology, he should never have tried to beat a confession out of the man.

Fresh tearing and screams roused Abner from his thoughts, handfuls of lace and silk drifted lazily through the silk. He dropped the board and started climbing up the scaffolding. Abner wondered how many more layers of petticoats the Lady Fiona could stand to loose before the immortal ape realized that she was no virgin.

The first level of the scaffolding was ten feet off the ground, it pitched and shifted under Abners feet like a funhouse ride. The gorilla looked up from sniffing at Lady Fiona's corset to bellow a challenge saw him and beat its chest.

For lack of anything better to do, Abner roared back and beat his own chest.

Nodyek-Nogk seemed taken back by this. Abner took advantage this and began to clamber up to the second level of the scaffolding. His whipcord tight frame was soaked with sweat, a trail of blood had run it's way down from the back of his head to stain his shirt. Smoke and exhaustion snatched the breath from his lungs. For a moment all he could do was hang there from a bamboo support rod and watch the flames devour the pictograms even as they illuminated them.

And wasn't it odd that one of the pictograms seemed to depict a man ascending a network of lattices? Wasn't there a demon poised at the top structure? Abner blinked trying to clear his vision, when he opened his eyes again the pictograms were lost.

Lady Fiona screamed "Abner look out!"
Startled to motion again he threw himself to one side as debris rained past him. The gorilla was throwing whatever it could, crates, cameras and barrels.

Ordinarily Abner would have waited for his adversary to run out of ammo but the fire had reached the scaffolding and already the bamboo was crackling and groaning.

There was a pause, he could hear the gorilla shuffling around above him. Panic and lust left the beast uncertain, it growled and stomped. The Lady Fiona was sobbing demurely. Abner waited until Nodyek-Nogk had trudged past before he leapt to action.

Only to crash back down to the hard bamboo surface of the scaffolding's second level. He looked down to see what had hold of his ankle.

It was Hoskins, his face a mask of blood and burnt flesh, he was cursing and screaming. Abner kicked at him but he refused to let go. He was dragging the rugged adventurer back down off the scaffolding into the fiery ruin that was the temple's lower levels.

Fingers scrabbling at the worn bamboo Abner managed find a handhold. He looked down to see Hopkins half on half off the scaffolding, he had Abner's boot in a deathgrip. Above them the gorilla plodded heavily back to the Lady Fiona. Abner tried to shift to a better position, only to have his free leg catch on one of the vertical support beams.

And then he realized what he had to do.

Drawing back with all his might he kicked at the support beam. The scaffolding rocked like a ship in stormy waters. Hoskins and Nodyek-Nogk shared almost identical grunts of confusion.

Abner kicked again. The support snapped in two. One half of the scaffolding's uppermost level shuddered and collapsed onto the second- crushing Hoskins and sending the gorilla tumbling into the flames.

"Help me!" the Lady Fiona screamed.

"Almost there!" Abner called back as he pried the dead man's fingers from his boot. With that done it was relatively easy to help the terrified woman down and escape the burning temple.

When they were clear of the structure they collapsed into each other's arms. "Oh Abner." She buried her head in his chest, "It was terrible to be at the mercy of some lusting beast…"

"It's over now." He said has he ran her fingers through her long red hair. They both fell back into the long grass and Abner wove a trail of kisses down from her lips to the crook of her neck. His touch glanced over her exposed midriff. She pulled at the tattered remains of his shirt, all but tearing it off his back.

They entwined together, so lost in each other's touch that they were oblivious to the approach of the vengeful Bollue tribesmen.