Saturday, June 16, 2012

Scarlett Johansson GIFs because... er... just because?

Bouncing to us from BUZZFEED

 

 

 

 

 

 

Not only does LOVECRAFT EZINE wisely recommend "MESSIAH OF EVIL" they make it easy for you to watch it!

From LOVECRAFT EZINE

 

 

I haven’t had time to watch this yet, but I have it on good authority from several sources that it’s a great Lovecraftian movie. Oldgamereviewer.com says, “It’s rare to run across a Lovecraftian film that is a) Lovecraftian in tone without dragging the Cthulhu mythos into things and b) any good at all. Messiah of Evil unexpectedly manages to do both and becomes an unknown minor classic in the process. A surreal, creepy, strange and very compelling film...”

 

to watch the film visit THE LOVECRAFT EZINE

(Insane News) "Man arrested for the FOURTH time for having sex with a teddy bear in public"

 

Found via FARK.com

A man was arrested for the fourth time for having sex with a teddy bear in public. Charles Marshall, 28, received a citation on Wednesday for masturbating with the stuffed animal in an alley near the Elm Street Health Clinic in Cincinnati, Ohio, it has been revealed. This is the fourth occasion since 2010 that the man has been arrested for pleasuring himself with a teddy bear.

Employees at the health clinic noticed Marshall in an alley engaging in a sex act with himself. They reported the situation to police.  Marshall was found using the stuffed animal to masturbate. Marshall has a history of arrests for having sex with teddy bears in public...


click here to read the rest of the story at THE DAILY MAIL

Yes... I wanted to hear this version of the song today... SING IT LEONARD NIMOY!!!

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Thursday, June 14, 2012

The trailer for SINISTER should make you even more unwilling to watch home movies!

(Recommended Hotness) Cadenza gets her cute on...

From her NSFW blog

 

 

 

 

 

 

(Insane News) "Cooked squid inseminates woman’s tongue, cheek and gums"

From i09

 

 

Here's a story that could put you off calamari for a while. According to a scientific paper from the Journal of Parasitology, a 63-year-old Korean woman "experienced severe pain in her oral cavity immediately after eating a portion of parboiled squid along with its internal organs." She spat out the food in her mouth, but still had a "pricking and foreign-body sensation" in her oral cavity. When she went to the hospital, they removed a dozen "small, white spindle-shaped, bug-like organisms stuck in the mucous membrane of the tongue, cheek, and gingiva."

Yes, the dead squid's spermatophores were still active, and they'd inseminated the woman's mouth...

 

You can read the rest of the disgusting story here

 

 

 

 

image source Jeffery Scott

(Insane News) Those guys from Mars sure know how to treat the ladies!

Found via BUZZFEED

 

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Like baby pictures? Then why not check out THE SPAWN OF YOG-SOTHOTH?

Where The Hell Is Harry? (An excerpt from Price Breaks And Heartaches)

Where The Hell Is Harry?

(An excerpt from Price Breaks And Heartaches)

by

Al Bruno III




This rainy day I found myself at Adrian’s place. He was running another game of Dungeons & Dragons. For those of you unfamiliar with Dungeons & Dragons I think the best way to explain it is to imagine a Fantasy Football league crossed with the Lord of the Rings trilogy with all the arguments of a game of Monopoly added in for spice...


*


...So it came to pass that the dwarf, the elf, ranger and wizard arrived at the ruins of the temple of Fructose the High Lord of the Reverse Hobbits...


*


...“Woah woah here,” I interrupted by putting my thumb against my forehead and waggling my fingers, “Fructose? Where the Hell did you get that name.”


“Research,” Adrian said as he looked up from the back of his soda bottle.


“You’re not making this up as you’re going along are you?” Gordon asked as he copied my gesture.


“I’m offended.”


“Hey guys!” a voice, “Hellraiser II is on!”


Adrian turned in his seat, “Goddamnit Harry get back in here!”...


*


...The cries of ravens filled the air, the ragged remains of previous adventuring parties littered the ground.


The three heroes started walking again, then doubled back to drag the near-comatose Wizard With No Name along with them. The doorway that led to the cursed inner chambers of Fructose the High’s temple hung open but showed only darkness.


They stood there in silence for a time, especially the Wizard With No Name. Bruce spoke first, “We need to establish a marching order.”


“The dwarf goes first,” Chemlar snorted, “he’s got the best Armor Class.”...


*


...“You know better than to break character without doing the hand sign,” Adrian said, “that will cost you 1000 experience points.”


“No fucking way!” Daniel said, “And those handsigns are stupid.”


“You want to lose another 1000 experience points?”


Daniel sighed with resignation and put his thumb against his forehead, “I think the dwarf should go first he has the best armor class.” His finger waggling was half-hearted at best...


*


The four heroes marched into the ruined temple, tunnels had been carved into the walls. “These were made by Kobolds,” Thad observed. His dwarven vision allowed him to see perfectly in the dark, there was nothing the shadowed tunnels could hide from him.


Bruce lit a torch, temporarily blinding the dwarf. The dwarf blundered backwards into the wizard. The Wizard With No Name panicked in confusion and cast a magic missile down the Kobold tunnel.


Before the thief could stop laughing dozens of Kobolds charged out of the mouth of the tunnel. The ranger cursed, the dwarf called upon Odin to guide his still blinded eyes, the thief tried to take cover. The wizard said, “Just a minute, I have to go to the bathroom.”...


*


...Everyone else immediately raised their thumbs to their foreheads and started waggling away. Gordon said, “That’s gonna cost you 1,000 experience points dude.”


“Whatever,” Harry shrugged as he stood.


“Should we just go on without him?” I asked once he was gone.


Adrian shook his head, “Nope. This is a scenario designed with four players in mind.”


“Designed?” I said, “You can’t really expect me to believe you aren’t making this up as you’re going along.”


“What are you talking about?”


“First you’re pulling the names out of your ass, otherwise why would Princess Solo be asking us to travel to retrieve the Graven Eye of Timor from the temple of Fructose the High Lord of the Reverse Hobbits?”


Adrian said, “Sounds like a standard D&D campaign to me.”


“Sadly you’re right.”


Adrian looked around, “Where the Hell is Harry?”


We took a vote and sent Daniel to the bathroom to find our fourth player. He wasn’t there, a brief search revealed his car was gone...


*


...undaunted by the wizard’s strange disappearance the three heroes engaged the kobold hordes in battle and made short work of them....the passageways of the temple ruins were becoming clogged with bodies, the dirt floor was swampy with kobold blood.


Chemlar the elf announced, “I see a glow up ahead.”


The cries of yet another kobold war party filled the air. “Here we go again,” the dwarf said.


The kobold horde drew closer, the pale silver glow became brighter and brighter. “What are they carrying?” Bruce asked, “Lanterns?”


Chemlar narrowed his eyes, “They’re too sharp-looking to be lanterns and that glow is magical...”


“Magical?” Thad croaked, “...those are vorpral blades.”


Bruce staggered in shock, “One hundred and twenty kobolds wielding vorpral blades?”


The dwarf cast an angry glare to the heavens, “It is almost as though the very gods themselves are trying to kill us out of spite....”


*


...Adrian was happily rolling critical hits, “Al your character loses his shield arm at the elbow and the elf loses both his ears.”


“What?” Daniel held his forehead, “What’s the point of playing an elf without pointy ears?”


“What did I miss?” Harry walked back into the room.


“Where the Hell were you?” we all asked.


“I went to get something to eat,” Harry sat down and picked up his dice, “let’s kill something!”...


*


...and just when everything seemed lost the Wizard With No Name charged into the chamber. His exhausted and partially dismembered companions looked up at him. The kobold army paused, uncertain what to make of this new stranger.


The wizard paused dramatically, “Uhm... I cast... I cast FIREBALL!”


“A fireball?” The ranger shouted, “Did you read about the dangers of casting fireball in an enclosed chamber?”


“You fool!” the elf cried, “Even if I make my save I don’t have enough hit points to soak that kind of damage.”


“Damnit!” the dwarf cursed, “You do not know how to roleplay.”


In the half-second before the ruins of the temple of Fructose the High Lord of the Reverse Hobbits was consumed in a mushroom of mystical hellfire each of the heroes grabbed their chests with the pain of losing another thousand experience points...

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

The NIGHTBREED DIRECTOR'S CUT moves forward...

 

As per OCCUPY MIDIAN here is what CLIVE BARKER had to say:

 

"Morgan Creek has given us permission to show the cut around the world and to raise money to prepare the cut for a release on Blu Ray. This could not, would not have happened without your voices. We have all been heard. The Morgan Creek team have my thanks and my respect. Very seldom does anyone in the movie business pay attention as they have,understanding perhaps that the message of the movie as I shot it is one that dramatizes a different ending to the age-old story of how a war between Humankind and something Other draws to a close."

 

"The real NIGHTBREED will be available for everyone to see. I hope its message of redemption and forgiveness move you."

 

(Recommended Hotness) Sophie Coady has a nice rack!

Spice rack I mean!

No really!

Anyway this is from her nsfw blog

 

The trailer for HAROLD'S GOING STIFF is not what I expected...

From TWITCH

 

 

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Looks we are going to get TONKA TRUCKS THE MOVIE.... why?

From GEEKS OF DOOM

 

 

...Sony will dig up the former with an adaptation of Hasbro’s large-scale construction toy lineTonka Trucks. According to Deadline, the film will be produced under the Happy Madison banner. This would be the second time that the production company and Sony have collaborated for a film. The two are currently working on another live-action adaptation of another Hasbro property, Candy Land...

 

And now fashion models falling on their butts!

Found on BUZZFEED

 

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YOG-BLOGSOTH lets your eyes pig out on THE DAEMON SWINEHERD

From what I can tell the folks making BIRDS OF PREY XXX have more respect for DC's continuity than DC does...

From BLEEDING COOL

 

 

So do you believe that Barbara Gordon should remain in the chair as Oracle, rather than getting in the Batgirl suit as in the DC New 52 reboot? Then, for a more traditional take on the character… you might want to look to Birds Of Prey XXX.

That’s right folks, that is what it has come to...

THE COLD INSIDE (a serial novel) Fourth Interlude


THE COLD INSIDE

Fourth Interlude

By AL BRUNO III


Saturday November 5, 1994



The sun was lost behind the crowded Albany skyline but its pale yellow illumination lingered on, radiating between the buildings and through the crowded streets. It was getting cold again, that last bit of autumn before winter. It wouldn’t be long before coats gave way to parkas and sneakers gave way to heavy boots but at least for a few more weekends Adelphos would be able to ride his brother’s bicycle home. He rode fast, slaloming from the sidewalk to the road and back again, racing through the shadows that pooled around the buildings.


Homework and dinner leftovers were waiting for him. Adelphos would finish both off tonight because his Sunday was already booked. His father gave him Saturdays off but Sundays, and every weekday after school, his ass belonged to the family business.


A decade ago Adelphos’ father had bought the WEST ALBANY PAWN AND ANTIQUES from its ailing owner. It wasn’t much to look at, a dingy hole in the wall located in one of Albany’s rougher neighborhoods. Most of the Chavez family thought Camilo was crazy to squander his savings in such a way but Camilo knew better. Right away he started making changes, downplaying the pawnshop aspect of the store and concentrating on old books and antiques. He stocked the shop with merchandise he’d been acquiring for years. Adelphos’ father had always had a nose for antiques; each piece he found he restored as best he could. Bargain-hunters and antique-hounds alike began to notice. Within the first year the store had changed so much that Camilo decided to change the sign as well, his eldest son Tommaso picked a name that the whole family thought was perfect; TRASH AND TREASURES.


TRASH AND TREASURES became the focus of the Chavez family’s life; Camilo worked there from open to close on the weekdays with Adelphos, Tommaso and their mother filled in whenever time allowed. Every weekend Adelphos and his older brother were left in charge while Camilo went out hunting for fresh collectables at garage sales and flea markets.


Over the course of four years the business thrived, eventually expanding to the point where it could afford to move to a better location. TRASH AND TREASURES now occupied a large storefront in one of Albany’s more trafficked shopping plazas. It’s inventory was one part antiques, one part used books, one part old videos and CDs and a little bit of everything else.


Adelphos paused at a busy intersection and waited for the light to change. A cop car slowed as it drove past him but didn’t stop or give him any trouble. Thank Jesus for that, getting patted down once a year was just fine by him. The light changed, he started pedaling again.


Memories of minding the store with Tommaso always made him smile. Most of the time he’d wandered around straightening shelves and keeping watch for the sticky-fingered neighborhood kids. He let his brother man the cash register. Between every customer his nose was buried in a book. Tommaso always loved books, any kind of book; science fiction, comics, horror, true crime, history, even those cheesy romance novels. He would read it and he would read it fast. He could devour one of those thick Stephen King books in two days.


It was one of the benefits of having a genius IQ and that wasn’t just bragging, all the tests and retests made it obvious that Camilo’s oldest son was headed for glory. Adelphos wasn’t jealous, he was proud.


It was growing darker, yellow daylight giving way to purple dusk. Already the moon and Venus were visible, soon the constellations would reveal themselves in all their pale glory. The Big Dipper, Orion the Hunter and all the rest, Tommaso had taught him how to recognize them on a camping trip years ago.


Crossing the street on his brother’s bicycle Adelphos kept a wary eye out for traffic, his goal nearly in sight. He’d dawdled too long at Greg’s but it had been a great game of Dungeons & Dragons and great games always made the group talkative. They would reminisce about past adventures and scenes from books and movies they loved. Sometimes Adelphos found it sad that for Warren, Rich and Drew some of their fondest memories of adolescence were going to be of things that never happened.


High school had been rough on his brother as well. The public school was a disaster area, vandalism was common, fire alarms were pulled almost monthly and the brainy kids were objects of derision and abuse. It had always been hard for Tommaso, his slender build and gentle nature set him aparts, made him a target. As he grew older it only got worse. At first he’d wanted desperately to be accepted but as the years ground on he simply wanted to be left alone.


The Chavez family did what they could, Ramona consoled her oldest son and Camilo tried to teach him how to fight, but Tommaso was no fighter. Complaints were made to the principal and vice principal countless times but both men seemed to view the whole situation as a waste of time. Their only advice was to encourage the boy to stay quiet and keep to himself, to try and blend in.


“Damn.” Adelphos whispered angrily as he pedaled the last few yards. The front gate of the cemetery was already closed. “Too late.” Too late to use his shortcut this week. Straddling his brother’s bicycle he stared through the bars of the tall wrought iron fence.


Slowly, over the course of two years, Adelphos watched his brother wilt away. Tommaso became a wraith-like figure, going to and from school, going to and from work but never looking up, never speaking in complete sentences. Finally, one day he reached his breaking point.


Once news of his brother’s leap from the rooftop of an Albany office building got out there were assemblies, grief councilors and a whole page set-aside in the yearbook but it was all for show. Tommaso’s classmates never really cared about him. He was nothing more to them than a punchline; The skinny spic from the honor roll that thought he could fly.


Adelphos ran his bare hands along the icy metal fenceposts and thought to himself how much he’d like to run into one of those jerks now. He had never been one to walk away from a fight. When he reached high school the year after his brother’s literal and figurative fall, he would see kids getting picked on because they were too meek, too skinny or too smart and he couldn’t stand for it. Six fights in one semester got him expelled from his brother’s old high school. Five more got him kicked out of a different high school a year later.


That was when his father decided to send him to Blessed Heart, to try and ‘Straighten him out’. But all Adelphos found at the fancy school was that rich kids could be even bigger jerks than poor kids could. He could have sat at any table he wanted, the Pretty Boys invited him to join their ranks, and Linda Kaspary invited him to one of her parties. But Adelphos could see how fake their smiles were, he knew he was just a novelty. He found himself gravitating towards the kids they called Smudge, Graveyard, Tubbo, Sadam Jr., and Dick Head.


It was almost night now. The glare of headlights, streetlights and neon signs made the constellations seem pale and washed out. Adelphos started pedaling again, taking the long way. He was opening the store tomorrow, his father would be by during lunch. Maybe they would talk, but probably they wouldn’t. His father didn’t talk that much any more.


The last part of the way home was up a steep hill. Adelphos switched gears on his brother’s bike and pushed hard against the pedals. He remembered his childhood, how he and Tommaso would spend whole summer afternoons on this hill, riding their bikes all the way to the very top and then zooming back down to the bottom again. It had been like having their own private roller coaster.


Halfway there the heat began to build in his muscles. It felt good, it kept him from thinking. He focused on his breathing and before he knew it he was there. The first house at the top of the hill was his home. Gliding into his yard he carefully parked his brother’s bicycle in the garage. His mother’s car wasn’t there, but his father’s car was. A familiar weight settling onto his shoulders Adelphos made his way up the long ramp that lead to his front door.


His father was already in bed. Classical music was drifting in from Tomasso’s room, filling the house. Adelphos recognized it as Brahms. He shouldered out of his backpack and removed the hardcover Dungeons & Dragons books, Tommaso’s books. He’d always been into these kinds of games, it seemed like he had one of every kind on his bookshelves, but he’d never been able to find anyone to play with. Occasionally he would run a game for his younger brother but Adelphos hadn’t never seen the point.


Adelphos stepped into his brother’s room thinking Now I play. Now I play for both of us.


The shelves in his brother’s room were crowded with books, a card table with medical supplies was up against the window. The Brahms was issuing from a state of the art stereo system, a recent Christmas gift. Adelphos put the Dungeons and Dragons books back on the appropriate shelf and sat down on the edge of his brother’s bed. He smiled, “Hey buddy.”


Tomasso’s eyes flickered with recognition at the sight of his brother but there was no way he could get out of the massive wheeled chair to shake his hand, there was no way he could shout a greeting; he couldn’t even crack a smile. The fall had left his every movement a palsied struggle.


“It was a great game tonight. We ran late.” Adelphos continued, “My Ranger made eighth level and we finally raided the Lich’s tomb...”



Click Here To Continue

Monday, June 11, 2012

The good news is that PRICE BREAKS AND HEARTACHES is on hiatus, the bad news is it will be back as of July!

No wait. I got that backwards... oh well....

The somewhat true story of how I barely lost my virginity, almost missed out on true love and nearly lost my mind!

Portrait of the Writer as a Young Idiot by George Vasilakos

Prologue

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

The somewhat true story of how I barely lost my virginity, almost missed out on true love and nearly lost my mind!

Portrait of the Writer as a Young Idiot by George Vasilakos

Prologue

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

The story that explains how I went from this-

to THIS!

The somewhat true story of how I barely lost my virginity, almost missed out on true love and nearly lost my mind!

Portrait of the Writer as a Young Idiot by George Vasilakos

Prologue

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

The story that explains how I went from this-

to THIS!

The somewhat true story of how I barely lost my virginity, almost missed out on true love and nearly lost my mind!

Portrait of the Writer as a Young Idiot by George Vasilakos

Prologue

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

The story that explains how I went from this-

to THIS!

The somewhat true story of how I barely lost my virginity, almost missed out on true love and nearly lost my mind!

Portrait of the Writer as a Young Idiot by George Vasilakos

Prologue

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

The story that explains how I went from this-

to THIS!

The somewhat true story of how I barely lost my virginity, almost missed out on true love and nearly lost my mind!

Portrait of the Writer as a Young Idiot by George Vasilakos

Prologue

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

The story that explains how I went from this-

to THIS!