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And with that done let's get back to our regularly scheduled silliness!
So I don't know where else to turn and I'm being told I need to confess. I can't tell you where I live, because word might get back to my family, or maybe where I used to work, and that's really not something I want to think about.
It seems like you guys like a good story, so I guess this is as good a place as any to get a few things off my chest. Someone needs to hear what I have to say, and if I want to stay out of jail, I can't tell the shrink. That fucker doesn't help anyway. He just asks me stupid-ass questions about my ex-wife and prescribes me bullshit like Zoloft. That stuff doesn't help. Yeah, it was nice at first. When I started taking it, I was stoned out of my mind for a good two weeks. But after I got used to it, life was right back to where it was…freakouts, restlessness, headaches, feeling like I was too big for my own skin. The zaps were the worst, though… the "Zoloft zaps". Serotonin withdrawals. I quit taking them after I realized they weren't doing any good. You'd just be sitting there and all of a sudden you'd get this bright flash in the back of your brain, except it wasn't a flash, and it felt like your eyeballs did a barrel roll. Like the earth hiccuped....
The pirate Captain Black said “When I think about you I touch myself.” First Mate Bettie was horrified because he had hooks for hands.
“All right all right, I'll help deliver your baby,” Psychotic Kid said with exasperation, “but don't push it.”
Dr. Zombie fed his prisoners a mixture of human flesh and noodles. It was a ghoulish goulash.
One by one the spirits of Kriely High School's honor roll came back until the building was filled with the ghosts of students passed.
A 21-year-old Czech girl who spent four hours smoking super-strength skunk cannabis had to be rescued by policemen from atop an electric pylon. How would this happen you ask? Well, apparently she was so high that she was hallucinating that the power lines were a bridge. Police spokesman Jan Macalikova said: “She was convinced, though, that the pylon was a bridge across the Morava river.” Drugs counselors and police eventually persuaded her to come down after two hours on the pylon...
...no wait that didn't come out right...
Anyway the folks at BLIP.fm have created a knew service called FUZZ that allows you to make your own personalized radio stations,. I have been creating some soundtracks for my stories. Please enjoy.
Laid back photographer seeks crazy models
(Oh sure she says she seeks crazy models but when I showed up at her house in a thong and a top hat she called the police!)
Some people's names can be sung in time with the Flash Gordon theme song and some cannot. The former will always envy the latter.
Ah bittersweet memories… I’m still glad ended up with my wife tho… Mrs. Bruno’s got it going on…
A Holbrook man was charged after police said he attacked and robbed a Brockton man using stolen sausage links and a wrench at West Street and Forest Avenue Sunday morning.
The victim told police he was riding his bike about 8 a.m. Sunday when Michael A. Baker, whom he does not know, came up to him “and started swinging sausage links at him,” Lt. David Dickinson said Sunday...
Murdock, FL-- When you enter any type of night club you usually have to follow certain rules. Sometimes those rules include what you can and can't bring with you inside, like say a...live kitten.
A man in Florida apparently didn't think those rules applied to him when he tried to take his Kitten into of all places a strip club. But it's what the man did after being refused entry into the club, that got him arrested.
Deputies were called shortly after 9:00 pm on Tuesday, to the Emerald City in Murdock after the owner said he told Everett Robert Lages, 47 to leave. The owner said Lages had attempted to bring a kitten into the club.
Instead of leaving, witnesses said Lages sat down outside the business and repeatedly called 911.
When the deputies spoke with Lages, they noted that he appeared intoxicated. They told him he needed to leave the premises and assisted in calling a taxi for him. However when the taxi arrived, Lages would not cooperate with the driver. He refused to give his address or say where he wanted to be taken. Instead Lages began yelling and causing a disturbance. Lages insisted that the club owner had committed a crime and continued to call 911 on his cell phone, even though the deputies were on the scene...
