Friday, September 9, 2011

Doctor Who: The Journey So Far

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(Insane News) "Woman Blames 'Evil Twin' In Welfare Fraud"

Article found via FARK.com

INDIANAPOLIS -- A former state worker accused of welfare fraud and forgery is blaming her "evil twin" for defrauding the government out of more than $15,000 meant for the needy. Janell Athalone-Afrika, 42, falsified her income and forged documents to claim more than $15,000 in government support for child care over eight years, prosecutors claim...

 

Click here to read the rest of the article

And now a musical interlude...

Jane Wiedlin was always my favorite Go-Go and that little wiggle she does at the 3:10 mark will haunt my libido forever!

 

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MIN/MAX makes its semi-triumphant return!

LOVECRAFT IS MISSING is back but Lovecraft is still missing. (What the Hell did I just say?)

 

Even if you aren't a Lovecraft fan this webcomic is worth your time. It is a great adventure and very cleverly written.

 

Go to Larry Latham's website now!

Three clips to whet your appetite for THE GIRL WHO WAITED










Thanks to LIFE, DOCTOR WHO & COMBOM for these.

I wonder who ADVENTURES IN NERDLINESS has named this week's Nerd Girl Of Note. HOLY COW!!!!!!

 

There is a lot of amazing cosplay out there, and one of the best (if not the best) is Yaya Han. You don't have to look hard to find Yaya on the web. A simple Tumblr search will provide a bounty of images (or just click here). Or, check out her website. She's been at it for over a decade, and according to her bio did not know how to sew when she first got the cosplaying bug. She designs and sells costumes now....

 

 

To learn and see more visit ADVENTURES IN NERDLINESS 

Thursday, September 8, 2011

In case you didn't already know...






Thanks for this Phil :)

THE LOCAL HEROES: Apocalypse Jones And The Race Against Time - Chapter Three

Apocalypse Jones
And The Race Against Time
by
Al Bruno III

Chapter Three

Escape From The Planet Of The 70’s



Once, not too long ago, Megalopolis had been the most prosperous and beautiful city in the world. Travelers from everywhere had come for the fine art, high tech wonders, gleaming skyscrapers and of course its heroes. The most famous costumed avengers in the world had made Megalopolis and nearby River City their base of operations. That was why it had been nicknamed America’s Super City.

That was why it was chilling to see what it had become.

Fires had run unchecked through the streets leaving the glass and steel towers blackened ruins. Had it been a simple accident of the work of the jackal-things?

Of the jackal things there was no sign but the dead wandered everywhere but they had become bloated with rot and were relatively easy to avoid.

Every day for the last seven days Annabelle Jones had searched through the wreckage and remains trying to fill Plan Omega’s nearly impossible shopping list. Plan Omega was their only hope, their escape route.

Motorcycle parts. Volumes of forbidden lore. Transistors. Leather bodysuits. Gold, as much gold as possible. And most bizarre of all, the integrated circuits for a beryllium atomic clock.

Well, Annabelle had thought that last one would be impossible but here she was with Frogman on the outskirts of the city making her way up the steps to the Freemantle Institute.

The Freemantle Institute was a squat dome-shaped building and it had been the heart of Megalopolis’ scientific community. It had been built from space age metals and was powered by prism-like solar panels that had glittered like jewels. The fires hadn’t spared it and it seemed to Annabelle that some kind of an explosion had ripped a third of the building off its foundations. Annabelle took cover in the building’s ruined doorway.

“You wait here,” Frogman raised a green-gloved hand, “I’ll go in first.”

Before she could protest he drew the frogarang from his utility belt and hopped inside.

Hurrying after him Annabelle wondered if he was being smug or protective. He never took off his green helmet and the faceplate hid his every expression so there was no way for her to tell.

The stink of fire and rot filled her nostrils, by the time they had reached the heart of the building’s main it was strong enough to make her sick to her stomach.

It took a few minutes of shoving for them to shove open the door to the main stairwell. Frogman like to brag that he had the proportional strength of an amphibian but it was of no help to them here.

The stairway itself was pitch black. Annabelle switched her walkie-talkie for her flashlight. “Put it back,” Frogman flicked a switch on his utility belt and a cone of illumination shone from the buckle. It was brighter than a spotlight, it left Annabelle momentarily blinded.

The masked hero leapt down the steps as she tried to blink the dots from her eyes. When she could see again she hurried after him.

The atomic clock was secured behind a vault door. They had brought explosives to blast it apart but the door was already open.

Flickering light shone out through the doorway. Twin bonfires burned in the center of the chamber, thick clouds of smoke crowded against the roof.

Both Annabelle and Frogman recognized the eyes gleaming at them from the shadows and firelight.

Jackal-things. Annabelle drew the second revolver from her belt, At least a dozen of them.

“The Ogodad said you would come,” a voice growled from the darkness.

“Who’s there?” Frogman swept his utility belt’s spotlight across the room resulting in some unfortunate pelvic gestures, “Show yourself!”

A jackal-thing approached them, it was albino-white, “The Ogodad said you would come so we waited and you came.”

“Who are you?”

“I am Serbe,” with a sweep of his white-furred arm he urged the other jackal things forward, “and you have come here to die.”

“That so?” A dangerous smile settled onto Annabelle’s face. She fired. The revolvers crashed like thunder.

Two jackal-things fell, the rest charged forward. Annabelle fired again and again. Each shot was a perfect kill. Frogman leapt at Serbe hitting him three times in rapid succession with the kind of spinning kicks only a master of the art Hop-Fu could accomplish.

The revolvers emptied Annabelle retreated as she reloaded. Her fingers moved with practiced dexterity. One of the jackal-things got close enough to grab at her. She hit it across the snout with a freshly loaded revolver snapping the cylinder back into place. The she fired point blank.

Serbe cried out and suddenly the monsters began to retreat. Annabelle fired again and again catching a last few in the back. “Frogman!” she cried over the din, “Are you OK?”

He leapt to her side, “I’ve got the part Professor Tibbs asked for.”

“Good,” she said as she reloaded again. She couldn’t shake the feeling there was still something glaring at them from the darkness, “What about the leader?”

“He got away,” Frogman said, “we should get out of here too- just in case.”

“Amen sugar.”

As they left the Freemantle Institute Frogman turned to look at her, the green metal of his helmet had become dull and scratched over the weeks.

Why won’t he take it off? Annabelle wondered.

“That was good shooting,” he said. “of course back in the old days I wouldn’t have approved of a superhero using guns.”
Annabelle laughed, “I’m not a superhero.”

The military all terrain vehicle they had taken here was waiting for them. The soldier standing guard over it was visibly relieved by their return, he saluted.

“I heard differently,” Frogman commented “Professor Tibbs said you had a superhero name but you wouldn’t tell him what it was.”

She groaned, “Not this again.”

(Insane News) Gnomes in protective custody

Article found via FARK

 

 

Police are once again looking for the rightful owners of a gaggle of garden gnomes. The creatures vary in sizes and materials and were part of what is believed to be an end-of-the-year prank at Capital High School. About 20 gnomes were affixed to several locations at the facility, including on the roof, at the end of May...

 

Click here to read the rest

Thank you Francis James Hogan!

My friend and collaborator Francis James Hogan was kind enough do a drawing of Apocolypse Jones for me.

 

 

Isn't it awesome?

MOON IN THE GUTTER examines 'Blood Mania' starring Peter Carpenter!

 

A flawed but oddly compelling work from director Robert Vincent O'Neill, Blood Mania (1970) is one of the most tripped-out and uber-odd works I have encountered in a long time. An delightfully sleazy film distinguished by O'Neill's undeniable skill with composition and framing, Blood Mania is both an exciting and sluggish experience fuelled by an extremely strange, but unforgettable, performance by future Star Wars cult-figure Maria De Aragon...

 

 

Click here to read the rest

 

And in celebration of this review SING IT PETER CARPENTER! SING IT!

 

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Wednesday, September 7, 2011

What the world needs now: William Shatner singing 'IRON MAN'

A new image for the upcoming Doctor Who episode THE GIRL WHO WAITED

THE MASK COLLECTOR (a serial novel) chapter four

IN THIS TWILIGHT

The Mask Collector

Chapter Four


Saturday June 7th 2003


Darren lay in the darkness listening to Marnie’s gentle snoring and cursing himself.


What have I done?


On Wednesday he’d found the nerve to chat up that pretty nursing student he’d been drooling over for months. She told him her name was Leiko. All it had taken Darren to win Leiko’s phone number and a date for Friday night was a few sly smiles and an expensive latte. Darren had spent the next two days preparing. He’d bought a new shirt, new cologne and fresh condoms. He spent hours mentally rehearsing and preparing for the conversations they might have.


When Friday came and he met her at the restaurant he never got a chance to make use of any of his prepared seductions. All she did was talk about herself for two hours only pausing in the conversation long enough to order and hardly eat the most expensive thing on the menu. She even took a pair of cell phone calls during the date and made plans for the rest of her evening.


Needless to say, after the date was over Darren got good and drunk and stayed that way. By Saturday afternoon he was feeling woozy, sick to his stomach and miserable.


Before dusk he was blubbering on the phone to Marnie and of course she rushed right over. Marnie made him take a hot shower to clear his head. When Darren left the bathroom he caught a whiff of her cooking, somehow she had managed to put together a kind of goulash out of his Ramon Noodles and leftovers. They ate and talked, mostly about the lack of success they were having in the dating scene.


They went to bed and Darren found comfort in the old rituals of their lovemaking, even though he couldn’t help but notice she’d put on weight again. He almost lost his excitement at the realization but when he closed his eyes and imagined Leiko he found it again.


But that was hours ago and now he was disgusted with himself. One bad date and he had crawled back into Marnie’s arms?


How did she do it to me? How did she get me to cave in like that? He glanced over at her, She’s just like her food, not healthy, not particularly good for me. Just easy and comforting.


The murmuring started again, sibilant and gurgling. Darren closed his eyes and tried to make out the words but Marnie’s snores made it impossible to understand out more than the occasional syllable.


Glaring at her in the dark, Darren kicked off the sheets and walked over to the wall, it was cool to the touch, cooler than the rest of the room. He put his ear to it and shivered.


There was a sound like a windstorm, constant and shifting. The voice was faint, “…ancient …their kind …Beings from Outside”


“… Ahtu… infinity… gods… served…”


The voice, Darren realized, sounded nothing like Chad. He wondered if he was hearing Crazy Agnes through some trick of the acoustics.


What am I doing here? Darren wondered, What am I trying to prove by living in this dump?


“Baby?” Marnie’s voice was slurred with sleep, “What’s the matter? Come back to bed.”


A realization settled on him, a realization that this was his last chance to put everything back the way it was before. Darren pulled his ear from the wall and rested his back against the cool plaster surface, “This was a mistake.”


“What?” Marnie’s voice was a yelp.


“You need to get dressed and go. Now.” Darren stared down at his bare feet, his hands clutched over his heart.



Click Here To Continue




Just when you thought things couldn't get any weirder - WORLD CHAMPION NOSE CLEANSING!

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

(Insane News) The World's Slowest Concert Completes 10th Year, Only 629 Years Left To Go

Article found via FARK.com

 

Late avant-garde American composer John Cage’s “Organ2/ASLSP As Slow aS Possible” was started on Sept. 5 2001 at a mediaeval church in the German town of Halberstadt. It is scheduled to last 639 years in total, finally ending in 2640...

 

Click here to read the rest

Or click here to listen to the concert in progress

Monday, September 5, 2011

Well this is pretty damn wrong isn't it?


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Fun Fact! Model Lily Cole's appearance in the TV show DOCTOR WHO is my flimsy excuse for posting this picture.




Sunday, September 4, 2011

Al And Tallulah’s Wild Ride part ten

Price Breaks And Heartaches

A journal of retail and failed romance

Chapter Seven

Al And Tallulah’s Wild Ride

part ten






It was Kevin, his newest girlfriend Sarah, who was the best friend of Alice the girl he had been going out with. Now Sarah had been going out with Corey but now Corey was going out with Alice. This wasn’t the first time they had switched off like this. It was a like the pair of them were some kind of a herpes brewery. Ida was there and he and I were soon trading friendly insults, Ida’s brother Marv was there too in his leopard print Speedos, his girlfriend was with him.


Tallulah and I were near the deep end of the pool, rough housing and talking. She asked me, “Why isn’t Joanna wearing a bathing suit?”


“Maybe she’s self conscious.” I shot her a baleful glance, “I wish she’d just stayed home.”


“Why?”


I tried to shrug while treading water but it didn’t really work out, “She just bugs me. I don’t know why.”


Tallulah swam closer to me and whispered, “She still can’t take her eyes off you.”


“You’re all the girl I need.” I pulled her against me.


“What is that?”


I grinned, “It’s my water wing.”


There will be a brief pause so you can all be sick.


There.


After a while Tallulah swam over to where the girls were sitting on the pool steps and talking, I managed to reach the guys by doing a cross-legged dog paddler.


"You all right Al?" Corey asked.


"Never better." I croaked.


Marv said, "We want to get a volleyball game going here. Ida's setting up the net.


Kevin said, "Yeah its gonna be guys on girls-"


"Oh yeah... heh heh heh..."


"Marv," I said, "never brush against me again when your laughing like that again."


"So anyway," Corey said, "it is guys versus girls but Joanna isn't gonna play because she didn't want to swim today."


"A girl thing." Marv said, "If you know what I mean."


"For the love of God Marv..." I said, "Wait...won't that leave us with an advantage?"


"Nah." Ida said, "You'll just have you play on the girl's side."


"What the Hell are you insinuating?"


"You're the one wearing a pale pink bathing suit."


"It was red." I said icily,"It faded."


Marv laughed so hard he swallowed a mouthful of water, "Sure buddy.."


"Look I'm not the one wearing a suit so tight we can see his circumcision scars!" My shout faded when I realized everyone was giving me that look again, "...not that I was noticed."


The volleyball game started normally but it soon ended up being multiple ball dodge ball with a net in the way. The game got more and more brutal until the girls fled the pool to the relative safety of the deck. Ida and I climbed out of the pool started running around the edge of the pool grabbing beach balls and volleyballs to throw at each other. Neither of us were very good shots and I started taunting him with my William Shatner impression.


A ball zipped past my ear and crashed into a picnic table sending plasticware flying in all directions. I shouted to him, “Like a poor marksman you-keep-missing- the target!”


“For a fat guy you move pretty fast!” Ida said.


“CANNONBALL!” Marv ran off the end of the diving board and curled into a ball. It made his bathing suit ride up in all the wrong ways.


Water splashed everywhere and drenched Joanna, she had been coxed into manning the barbecue grill and was now suffering for it. I took a moment to look at her as I ran to the other side of the pool, laughing at the fact bathing suit or not she had gotten soaking wet anyway. Her dark eyes were flashing with mock anger, the locks of her wet hair clung to the sides of her face and the moisture had made her tank top almost transparent. I was so transfixed by the sight of her nipples thrusting up against the translucent fabric that I didn’t see that lawn chair.


I went down on the ground chin first and hard.


My front tooth cracked in half, not straight of course, it was a ragged fang like edge. There was a moment when I was too stunned to feel anything and then the cold air hit the exposed nerve of my tooth.


“Oh my God Al!” Joanna shouted, “Are you Ok?”


My eyes were watering but I managed to say, “I think I just had an out of body experience.”


Tallulah and Joanna were at my side to make sure I was all right, Ida was apologizing, Kevin was on the line to his parent’s lawyer and Marv was too busy trying to fish his Speedo out of the filter to notice anything.


*



It was a Sunday but a dentist had recently opened for business in Mohawk Mall and he kept Mall business hours so Tallulah drove me there as I tried to weep in the manliest manner possible. I was glad she was there, the only thing I hated more than needing medical care was having to go get it alone. It just makes he feel vulnerable, it always has.


The irony that I was at Mohawk Mall with my best girl was that this was the same mall where I had gotten my first kiss years ago.


And no I wasn’t practicing on the mannequins, it was with Lilly I will have you know.


It was another old ghost laid to rest, or so I thought.


Once my smile was repaired Tallulah and I went to our favorite parking spot. Just to cuddle this time but I was still because I my whole mouth was numb and I couldn’t stop drooling. Although Tallulah was pretty used to the drooling part.


“I wonder if they’ll ever find the other half of your tooth.” She said.


“I hobe he cubts hibs fob obn ibt.” I slobbered.


“That’s what you get for running and horseplay.” She nudged me with her elbow.


“Hobrsebplaby? Ib wabs ebstablibsibng mybseblf abs theb ablphab mable.”


She looked at me, even in the dark I could see her eyes were twinkling, “You know I love you right?”


“Meb toob.”


“You still want to marry me?”


“Gobd yebs. Youbr myb gibrl.” Spittle was flying everywhere like I was a defective lawn sprinkler, “Bubt Ib dobm’t knobw whabt web wibll dob.”


“I want to have your babies.” She said, “Lots of ‘em.”


“Ib libke theb soubnd obf thabt.”


Click Here To Continue

(Insane News) "Size 8 model bullied for being too fat"

A SIZE eight teenage model said being bullied for being too fat on Australia's Next Top Model sent a dangerous message to vulnerable young viewers.

Alissandra Moone, 18, who at 57kg is considered underweight on the Australian body mass index, was "stunned" when her size became an issue on Foxtel's top-rating show. 

Judge Alex Perry has openly criticized Moone's body, likening it to "overstuffed luggage", and the clash is set to reach a head on tonight's episode...

 

click here to read the rest

 

And hey lets take a look at what this so-called fat girl looks like shall we?

 

 

 

She's "overstuffed luggage"? Really? Is this what things have come to?