Price Breaks And Heartaches
A journal of retail and failed romance
Al And Tallulah’s Wild Ride
There is a reason most romance novels end just when the guy gets the girl, or the girl gets the guy or the conjoined twin gymnasts get the alien pleasure-droid.
OK, that last one only happens in my mind but you get the idea. Watching people fall in or out of love is entertaining watching people happily being in love is nauseating no matter how many settings that pleasure-droid may have. Love is only interesting or dramatic when it is beginning or when it is dying, everything else, regardless of what the sitcoms or rock ballads of the world may tell you, is a pleasant monotony.
So before we embark on this latest chapter of my nearly real life adventures I should warn you that this was one of the happiest times of my life- an era of tender cuddling, heavy canoodling and blundering cunniligus This was the springtime of my manhood, the summer of my heart and the equinox of my maturity.
And it looked like I was getting married.
But what did I know about marriage? Watching the relationships around me as I was growing up had taught me that marriage was an institution that could bring two people deeply in love to a state of being deeply in debt. I knew it was a way to have someone else to blame when you made a mistake, to have someone to talk to when you'd rather be alone, a way to have someone to truly be yourself with, even though someday they would hate you for it.
Of course I was determined to make sure things turned out differently for me. I was going to get the happy ending, in every sense of the word. A positive outlook wasn’t an easy thing to keep at all times, there were times, times when I was alone and it was quiet that I worried and brooded. Thankfully I had a sexy girlfriend and heavy metal to keep me from worrying about anything for very long.
And why should I dwell on negative things? Weren’t these supposed to be the best years of my life? Damn right they were. This was everything I had hoped my college years would be like - aside from the living with my parents and the occasional random beating from my brother.
I had been to concerts at the RPI Civic center before but I had never seen a show like this. Each time a new song exploded from Iron Maiden's sound system a fresh roar would go up from the audience. Llights were flaring, pyrotechnics were sparking and the band's inflatable mascot Eddie held sway over all. From where Tallulah and I stood on the balcony of the upper level we could see every part of the show- just not very up close or from the right angle but it was still a hell of a view. I could even see the splash of blood that marked the moment the opening act had retreated from the stage after two members were felled by wave after wave of thrown pocket change and bottles.
The crowd around me was all leather jackets and acid-washed jeans. Long hair flew this way and that as heads were banged. In my high school days I wouldn’t have been caught dead in a crowd like this- or more likely if I had been caught in a crowd like this I would have been dead.
it was just another reason for me to love Tallulah, she was helping me pass for normal. She was beside me there jumping up and down and occasionally flashing me a smile.
Did I mention she was wearing a tight black t-shirt? Like I said folks, we might not have gotten great seats but I had a hell of a view.
I leaned close to her and tried to make myself heard over the music, “I LOVE YOU.”
Tallulah nodded “IT IS A GREAT VIEW.”
“NO I MEAN I LOVE YOU... YOU AND ME BABE.”
“YOU'VE GOTTA PEE? GOOD LUCK MAKING YOUR WAY TO THE BATHROOM!”
Still, it was the thought that counted right?