Carol couldn't go on sitting there, just sipping her wine and wiping her lips. As much as she hated the old saying about bridesmaids and getting laid, if she didn't make a move on this guy, some kind of a move, she'd be kicking herself for weeks. It wasn't just the tuxedo; Daniel would have been heart attack gorgeous wearing jeans and flip flops. No, it was everything about him. His eyes, his hands, his ass, everything. Out of the corner of her right eye, she watched him...
As she drew herself, reluctantly, from the thick cotton wool of sleep, Penny caught sight of a tangled shock of shaggy, dark hair, splayed across the pillow beside her...
The spires of the glass building rose high into the sky, the sun kissing the many facets until it seemed to be crafted from crystal. A bit ostentatious, Lucien thought, but where else would one expect God to conduct business...
| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| Intro - Progressivism Is Cancer | ||||
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| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| Conservative Libertarian | ||||
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Sweet Jesus that was beautiful....
The room languished in deep shadows cast from the cheap brass lamp with the paper shade as Peter wrote his letter. Note. It was on a pretty piece of stationery; he'd found it in the drawer, right next to Mindy's wedding ring...
I sat on the floor in my living room and gazed at the glimmers of light cast by the street lamps. I gripped the handle of the metal bucket and my heart raced with anticipation. I turned to the digital clock whose red numbers glowed: 2:30am. I stood and carried the bucket to the deserted house across the street, wading through the high grass and discarded belongings that surrounded it. The two windows facing the street had already been broken by neglectful tenants and mother nature. I walked to the side of the house where the two windows remained whole...
Sue sliced through the tape of another box and groaned. The movers marked this one "kitchen" but it contained Jake's video game system. At least she found it. If she heard "I'm bored" one more time, she knew she'd scream.
Come to think of it, Jake hadn't complained for over twenty minutes. Her mother instinct screamed too quiet. He was up to something...
This here is the kind of a movie that is going to help determine if you are a tried-and-true kaiju fanatic, or just someone who enjoyed watching a couple of Godzilla movies on syndicated TV when you were a kid. Simply put, Frankenstein Conquers the World is not for everyone. But if you love this sort of thing--Japanese giant monster movies--then it's a veritable treasure trove of rubber-suited goodness...
"You have brought Laura's ashes?"
"Yes," he said, handing the urn to the witch. She lifted the lid, peered into the receptacle, then turned her stern gaze towards him.
"I must ask you to reassure me one last time - you are sure she was a pure-hearted woman?"
"Commander Infinity prefers to fight crime from 50 feet in the air," Amazing Ed said, "aloof doesn't even begin to describe him."
He said to his wife, "I can explain everything." Even though the midget prostitute was still hanging from the ceiling fan.
Slim believed most gunfighters were suffering from trauma related to their potty training. When said this aloud he got shot.
Audra smiled, "Mom said that the first time casting a spell is like the first time doing anything else. You get stains everywhere."
When you have a sexual fetish for breakfast cereals it isn't easy to sow your oats.
While in the future many time travelers are stunned to learn the Vatican made Charlie Sheen the patron saint of bachelor parties.
Abner Deggent crashed in the door with guns blazing but due to a mis-remembered address little Terry's birthday party was ruined.
The met via Facebook, flirted via email and broke up via Twitter.
One his parents named him Christian Diablo he was pretty much guaranteed to become a supervillain.
She awoke to find a vengeful long haired Japanese ghost sucking her nipples- talk about nursing a Grudge.
Abner Deggent overheard the girls at the brothel talk about how he kept going and going. He didn't know they meant his bragging.
All she wanted was a man with crazy eyes, a dirty mouth and grab-able ears.
It isn't easy taking a shower when you're a cyborg but thankfully Rusty Johnson had paid extra for the undercoating.
Abner Deggent knew that once the girls had exhausted him the fertility ritual would end and he would die. He stiffened his resolve.
"I have traveled in time! Fought gods and monsters!" Hrothgar the Viking roared, but it didn't help him qualify for a credit card.
The first rule of Mime Club is you don't talk about Mime Club.
Held prisoner by a tribe of bloodthirsty cannibals Abner Deggent had only two goals; escape and scoring with one of their women.
It wasn't the first time something in Captain Hero's utility belt had gone off accidentally but now he was banned from Denny's.
Anger the League of Time Traveling Dominatrices and you'll get a retro-active spanking which usually makes you a customer for life.
For him Heaven was spending eternity with the four girlfriends he had loved the most, oddly enough that was their version of Hell.
Karl had considered himself a breast man until that terrible day he found himself trapped in an elevator full of sumo wrestlers.
None of the Local Heroes knew why the Shriners hated Psychotic Kid but whenever they attacked there was free candy everywhere.
He had a thing for plus-sized mathematicians, the more full-figured the better.
Abner Deggent tried to establish dominance over the swarm of snapping turtles by waving his genitals at them. It didn't end well.
"There's a madman in River City killing people with electrified shoes," Fuego said, "Truly these are times that try mens' soles."
Polidori Lord of the vampires perused the 'Paranormal Romance' section of the bookstore and then promptly killed himself.
Captain Hero's taxi skidded to a halt and he charged out tackling the jewel thieves. The meter was running- on Justice!
The girls talked about their first times- they involved summer camp, a world cruse and 20 minutes before a bus crash respectively.
She met him via speed dating only to find out later he could only perform speed loving.
Sometimes Abner Deggent crossed paths with a mysterious character called 'the Scotsman' but then he got kilt.
Brian was overjoyed to go to Heaven and become an angel, then he discovered he was allergic to feathers.
Abner Deggent claimed he was sent to break Nazi morale by seducing their women; he said it was a long hard mission.
TRUCKEE, CA - An obscene snow sculpture built in the center of downtown Truckee by a crew producing an MTV reality show has angered town officials and residents.
"It was a giant penis with water shooting out," said downtown merchant Stefani Olivieri, whose store is directly across the street from the historic train depot where the sculpture was built. "It was not appropriate. There were a lot of children around."...
Welcome to Curio Killed the Cat, an occult shop in Kensington Market, Toronto. Meet the quirky (and sometimes supernatural) employees, customers, and a few strange characters that pass along the way.
Peter Graves, Spymaster and Host, Is Dead at 83 By MICHAEL POLLAK
Published: March 14, 2010
Peter Graves, the cool spymaster of television's "Mission Impossible" and the dignified host of the "Biography" series, who successfully spoofed his own gravitas in the "Airplane" movie farces, died Sunday. He was 83...
Sweat streams down my face and body. My eyes linger at the windows of the white panel van but rolling them down isn't an option. The van that holds our FBI ops center had been fitted with soundproofing but the designers had overlooked the need for a fan. Doing surveillance with the windows rolled down so that passersby could overhear our overheard conversations was rather pointless. So I sit in my seat and perspire and dream of a cold Budweiser...
"Tell me again what we're doing out here in the middle of the night?"
"Hunting leprechauns."
Shannon twisted toward Eric from her seat on the hood of his parent's 1989 Impala, digging her hands deeper into the pockets of his letterman's jacket. Beneath a full moon, the gnarled branches of Shebangee Forest cast shadows between them...
I'm a dog!
I can't believe it. I'd pinch myself, but my thumbs are gone. This just can't be happening - must be a bad dream. Except it doesn't feel like a dream.
Where am I? This isn't my house. Doesn't smell right. Smell right! What am I saying?
Woof...
Whilst lying on an autopsy table, motionless but conscious and in some sort of cataleptic state, American journalist Gregory (Jean Sorel) recalls how he was desperately searching for his missing girlfriend Mira (Barbara Bach) in Prague, when he fell foul of a mysterious order of social elites who thrive on the 'life essence' of the younger generation. As he relays his story, he attempts to solve his own 'murder' before it is too late and the surgeons begin performing their autopsy on his still warm body...
I don't usually play with my food, but I had to admit I was rather enjoying the look of terror on his face. Soon he would be begging for his life, but I would not spare it. I had come to terms with my existence (I never call what I have a "life" any more). The bitterness. The loneliness. The insatiable thirst for blood. I learned to survive on the blood of animals. Livestock makes for easy meals and as long as I don't kill them I can feed indefinitely. It had been decades since I had harmed a human. Until tonight...
I have a confession. I've overslept on Dan Simmons and I feel terrible and deprived... I'm very excited about his latest novel Black Hills, and Drood beckons me from my shelf at home with an intimidating presence and cover. There's going to be a lot of Dan Simmons reading going on in this guy's house from now on, I assure you of that...
This girl, who I had never seen before, she was coming into the 7-11 where I worked the midnight shift. She just walks in out of the darkness, no car, no nothing. Never seen someone just walk up like that, and I've been wasting three nights a week in this joint for over a year...
Caitlin's mum was one of those people who didn't care much for life. That was partly what made it easier for the six-year-old, to watch when she drank the poison...
