If HP Lovecraft Ran A Puppy Farm...

DAWWWWWWWWWWWWW

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Eight Hundred And Sixty Three

Abner Deggent was captured by a band of pirates that only wore soft fabrics but he vowed to escape the Cotton Swabs.

5 second Fiction One Thousand Eight Hundred And Sixty Two

With its vibrating controller and interactive storyline the video game 'Action Masseuse' kept people playing for the happy ending.

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Eight Hundred And Sixty One

On a dare she ate a DVD of an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie, 8 hours later she became the first person to die from 'Going Commando'.

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Eight Hundred And Sixty

Chuck had never been to dinner party hosted by a porn actress before. He had to admit she had quite a spread.

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Eight Hundred And Fifty Nine

John tripped, stumbled and fell the dalmatian he was walking. He always was Johnny on the spot.

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Eight Hundred And Fifty Eight

The worst blow to his self esteem was when he was spied skinny dipping and people left him extra clothes.

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Eight Hundred And Fifty Seven

“Some people think creating an Anti-Flatulence Defamation League was a great idea, others think it stinks.”