THE CHEAP BIN reminds me why I used to rent the movie 'ANGEL EYES' every week!

-I regret the lack of screen-caps for this review, 'cause man, there would have been some doozies. But my computer simply refused to play this DVD for some reason (perhaps plain ol' fashioned good judgment? I dunno)... anyway, just take my word for it... It goes a little something like this...


Some random old biddy gets herself all stabbed up by a mysterious, kitchen knife-wielding assailant while hanging her laundry out to dry. "I said use fabric softener sheets next time, bitch!!" Stabstabstabstab...

sexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsex

John Phillip Law engages in tepid intercourse with some broad who has a superbly-crafted fake chest.

sexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsex...

Click here to read the rest

(something makes me want to buy this DVD... two somethings in fact)

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred and Five

No one liked Freud-Man's battle cry of “Your Mother”!

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred and Four

When the voters elect a politician obsessed with masturbation they're going to have a mess on their hands.

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred and Three

He always wanted to be a time traveler that dream came true as he grew older he found a year passed in what seemed like months.

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred and Two

The super villain Pink-Eye could shoot sticky webbing from his oversized tear ducts and had a mucus healing factor.

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred and One

A demon attacked the public pool, terrified swimmers soiled themselves and were caught between the devil and the deep blue pee.

TOPLESS ROBOT Presents The 25 Greatest Wacky Packages Cards

 

Hawaiian Punks was my favorite!

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Six Hundred

He wasn't the first attendee of the All Gay Rodeo to go home with some new chaps.

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Ninety Nine

Jack won the goldfish swallowing contest but the goldfish won the 'kill a guy by blocking his sphincter' contest.

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Ninety Eight

Everyone knows you shouldn't bring a knife to a gunfight but there is a similar rule about bringing hamsters to cockfights.

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Ninety Seven

He was making love to a girl from Helskinki but didn't finish.

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Ninety Six

“And if you press the button on 'IT Department Barbie' she takes a call and pulls some of her hair out!”

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Ninety Five

Studying the sanity-blasting tome known as the Necromonicon prepared him for the job of being Sarah Palin's official proofreader.

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Ninety Four

High on LSD the actor wandered the village green waving homemade weapons, he listed it on his resume as Shakes spear in the park.

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Ninety Three

When he was a young man he considered himself a 'Love Machine' as he got older he started having problems with his nuts.

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Ninety Two

They pulled him from the doughnut machine but he had a glazed look in his eyes.

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Ninety One

Just a small town girl, living in a lonely world- but that's the Rapture for you.

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Ninety

A dozen prostitutes showed up at the congressman's office and he realized he should have proofread that add for 'poll takers'.

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Eighty Nine

Everyone in marketing was fired because someone should have realized that 'Sugar Frosted Cornholes' was no name for a cereal.

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Eighty Eight

When making love his piercings scraped against hers as they grew older and removed them their relationship lost its spark.

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Eighty Seven

Prostitutes facing equipment difficulties frequently contact Trick Support.

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Eighty Six

He went to the nude barbecue hoping to feast his eyes on a feminine smorgasbord but all he got as a load of burnt sausages.

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Eighty Five

He was only a member of the priesthood for a few days before he quit. Call it friars remorse.

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Eighty Four

“Oh I found the Yellow Sign,” Jason Magwier said, “but it clashed with the room.”

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Eighty Three

Part of the strippers union's plans for greater social acceptance involved them helping design womens' Halloween costumes.

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Eighty Two

The teenage leper felt a lot of his time in the bathroom flaking off.

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Eighty One

The makers of the male enhancement drug bribed the members of the court with their product creating a hung jury.

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Eighty

Jeremy Deadslayer knew how to kill regular zombies and fast zombies but he didn't know beans about farting zombies.

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Seventy Nine

Fuego's bitterest rival was Braka Besatta but he supposed he might be bitter too if he were the only Luchador in Sweden.

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Seventy Eight

Ellen put the call on hold and said, “Anyone that says war is Hell has never worked in tech support.”

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Seventy Seven

If voters elect the President they'd most like to have a beer with they should expect to find themselves in a world of Schlitz.

PLAID STALLIONS invites us to the manliest day at the beach ever....

 

This coolness courtesy of PLAID STALLIONS!

WHAAAAAAAAAA!!! I want my toys back!

If you are of a certain age PLAIDSTALLIONS will torment your inner child.

Every once in a while I like to take a moment to thank you all for visiting and reading...

...the only thing more fun that writing these stories is getting to share them.

Feel free to comment on what you read here at any time- old stories and new ones.

And keep circulating the blog!