Sunday, April 18, 2010

5 Second Fiction One Thousand One Hundred And Fifty One Through One Thousand Two Hundred

5 Second Fiction One Thousand One Hundred and Fifty One


He explained that his quest to protect family values drove him to scour the Internet for pornography and save it to his hard drive.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand One Hundred and Fifty Two


The Reddeath preferred to kill all witnesses, not because he had to but just to keep in practice.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand One Hundred and Fifty Three


She had a fear of strangers and you couldn't much stranger than Gary.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand One Hundred and Fifty Four


Her baby took the morning train, which was why the charged her with child abandonment.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand One Hundred and Fifty Five


It was a battle between superheroes, vampires, pro wrestlers and stage magicians. The air was thick with capes.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand One Hundred and Fifty Six


He spent hours online searching for spoilers and then complaining online that there was nothing new or surprising at the movies.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand One Hundred and Fifty Seven


He thought having a computerized scrotum was be awesome but he had frequent testicle difficulties.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand One Hundred and Fifty Eight


Years later he finally got into his high school sweetheart's pants. She was in the Wal Mart changing room when he stole them.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand One Hundred and Fifty Nine


Bitter experience taught Karl that in reality naughty nurses didn't do much more than steal your shoes while you were sleeping.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand One Hundred and Sixty


"And your instructor in Consonant Only education is Mr. Jhn Smth."


5 Second Fiction One Thousand One Hundred and Sixty One


Abner Deggent wasn't worried when his enemies conspired against him but it was another matter when his ex-wives got together.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand One Hundred and Sixty Two


Apple created a special run of products just for Wiccans, that way you could go skyclad with your iPad.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand One Hundred and Sixty Three


It wasn't until after he'd hung up the red phone that Commander Infinity realized he'd said "Bye bye." to the President.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand One Hundred and Sixty Four


They were a superhero team composed entirely of people with skin disorders. Who watches the Blotchmen?


5 Second Fiction One Thousand One Hundred and Sixty Five


He was a traveling salesman. She was a farmer's daughter. Theirs was a love story that would inspire a generation.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand One Hundred and Sixty Six


No one cared that the crimefighter's name was actually Splendidman -his insignia was a complete infringement of copyright.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand One Hundred and Sixty Seven


They say that if you can't get what you want, you get what you need but Ray kept getting what he deserved.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand One Hundred and Sixty Eight


Online voting was used to update the names of the month for the 21st century. We celebrate this change every 9th of Faptober.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand One Hundred and Sixty Nine


"What is that thing where married couples start finishing each other's sentences?" Zeth puzzled, "Ah yes. The Stockholm Syndrome."


5 Second Fiction One Thousand One Hundred and Seventy


Corporate preferred a 'loose management style' which was just another way of saying 'plausible deniability'.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand One Hundred and Seventy One


His deeply held religious views led him to name the tyranosaurus-filled island he was stranded on the Land The Dinosaur Rapture Forgot.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand One Hundred and Seventy Two


"My Mom missed my tenth birthday party because somebody brought a rabid burro to a policy meeting," Lorelei said, "childhood huh?"


5 Second Fiction One Thousand One Hundred and Seventy Three


The Mathmagican could turn equations into physical objects, there was nothing worse than having her hit you with a pi in the face.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand One Hundred and Seventy Four


The members of the Order of the Hidden Urinal greet each other with something a little more than a secret handshake.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand One Hundred and Seventy Five


Megaton Minotaur loved to break things- cars, buildings, superheroes, it didn't matter.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand One Hundred and Seventy Six


She said to him, "I'm not a little girl anymore."

And he agreed, "Not with those implants."


5 Second Fiction One Thousand One Hundred and Seventy Seven


He said, "I have no doubt that the Bible is the word of God but I am also sure he had the Devil for an editor. Most writers do."


5 Second Fiction One Thousand One Hundred and Seventy Eight


Adult film stars began to endorse breakfast cereals, it wasn't long before 'Sasha Grey's Frosted Mini Teats' became a best seller.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand One Hundred and Seventy Nine


The worst part about suffering the death of a thousand screams was that the executioner kept losing count.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand One Hundred and Eighty


It was just her luck that she was eating calamari by the seashore the day dream Cthulhu rose and stormed ashore.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand One Hundred and Eighty One


Even though Abner Deggent escaped the two dozen naked men chasing him the flapping sounds would haunt him forever.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand One Hundred and Eighty Two


The Maven and Psychotic Kid got into the Crime Countess' hideout with a combination of stealth and well-timed prank phone calls.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand One Hundred and Eighty Three


She didn't so much measure her age in years as she did on the relevance of her pop culture references.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand One Hundred and Eighty Four


The truth is that cats don't have nine lives, just lots of stunt doubles.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand One Hundred and Eighty Five


He tried to bring sexy back but he'd lost the receipt.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand One Hundred and Eighty Six


Abner Deggent awoke to find his room ablaze but soon he realized he'd gotten an equally scorching case of the crabs in Singapore.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand One Hundred and Eighty Seven


Whenever he thought about her he touched himself and since he was a pirate with a hook for a hand injuries were abundant.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand One Hundred and Eighty Eight


The Mathmagician knew she had to fight the evil clone of Albert Einstien but she was E=MC scared


5 Second Fiction One Thousand One Hundred and Eighty Nine


Trent never shut up, he was always talking and talking. That's why he had a closed casket funeral and the undertaker went mad.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand One Hundred and Ninety


Audra learned that magic was like skipping to the end of a mystery novel to see whodunnit, and most of the time it was you-dunnit.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand One Hundred and Ninety One


It wasn't easy get a hold of that much phlegm in so short a time but the neighbor kids never sneaked into his pool at night again.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand One Hundred and Ninety Two


As she fed the last bits of her husband's body into the shredding gears she said, "Tell me to be more chipper will ya?"


5 Second Fiction One Thousand One Hundred and Ninety Three


Ninjas, mobsters and mutated psychopaths stormed the church, this kind of thing always happened when super heroes got married.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand One Hundred and Ninety Four


He needed to be sure of the future so he dumped tea leaves onto the bumps on his head while he staring into a crystal ball.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand One Hundred and Ninety Five


The new mission values statement told the employees they were held to the same standards as the CEO, the looting began at dawn.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand One Hundred and Ninety Six


He died as he lived, smothered under plus-sized models. Lucky bastard.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand One Hundred and Ninety Seven


The villain said, "They call me Killjoy because I enjoy killing!"

The Maven said, "Are you fucking kidding me?"


5 Second Fiction One Thousand One Hundred and Ninety Eight


They tore off each others clothes in the heat of passion. In the morning they saw the light of reason.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand One Hundred and Ninety Nine


He won raves as a dancing spoon and a dancing chair but when it came to being dancing teapot he just couldn't get a handle on it.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand Two Hundred


Even though he had been around for years no one really knew much about Dr. Obscure.

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