Sunday, April 18, 2010

5 Second Fiction Two Hundred And One Through Three Hundred

5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and One


No superhero was sure if Doomsday Girl was wearing a risqué new costume or publicly flossing her labia.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Two


Bad enough he had been turned into a pillar of salt- worse yet someone had written on him 'I FOUGHT THE LORD AND THE LORD WON'


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Three


Every craft of the galactic fleet had a doomsday button that would instantly kill any officer crazy enough to use it.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Four


He lived in a world of shit but there was no denying his lawn had never looked better.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Five


It was the kind of order no police officer wanted to hear- “Arrest that dragon.”


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Six


And on that day Otto and Bob formed Task Force Palindrome. Wow. They even had a racecar.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Seven


Production on 'Mummies on Motorcycles' was shut down after the 3rd cast fatality.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Eight


Audra knew that Studying Quantum Theologics was just a double major in blasphemy.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Nine


Given the choice between monsters and witty people Zeth preferred monsters, they were less dangerous.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Ten


“Who was that masked man?” Beverly wondered as she pulled she bedsheets up over her sweaty, sated flesh.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Eleven


They say the secret is to never let them see you sweat, so spontaneous nosebleeds are out of the question.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Twelve


They met on the field of honor but the cows had been through there. It was the messiest duel ever.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Thirteen


Windshield shattered, chassis torn to bits, he had been in such a hurry but not any more. Now he would wait alone.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Fourteen


He volunteered for a vasectomy and a lobotomy, it was the best choice for this economy.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Fifteen


The disease left her flesh peeling away in little strips. They were delicious.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Sixteen


One of Dracula's ancestors worked in adult films- he too was called 'Vlad the Impaler'


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Seventeen


“You must understand that the only difference between a reality show and religion is that in the end we all get voted off.”


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Eighteen


Unlike most dads Brian didn't care how many sleepovers his daughters had, after all that was how he had met his third wife.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Nineteen


Mario Krump's childhood heroes were slowly dying off, he was determined not to join them no matter what the cost.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Twenty


In the end she left him because he was a slob. She took the kids but left him the ants.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Twenty One


There is a rift between our reality and the Porniverse. Ironically that rift does not go both ways.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Twenty Two


It turned out Satan had only been a cosmic temp- when the real guy showed up all Hell- literally- broke loose.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Twenty Three


He caught his breath as he ran his hands over her bared breasts- those weren't pasties, those weren't pasties at all.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Twenty Four


Captain Hero might have respected Amazing Ed more if his costume had been more than khakis, sandals and a cape.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Twenty Five


The Cannibal Congressman's defense became his re-election slogan- “Lobbyists: The Other White Meat”


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Twenty Six


He was the most inept lover she had ever had, somehow that intrigued her. Soon she fell in love, rugburns and all.


5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Twenty Seven


It was the 4th mummy that had shambled from its museum directly to New Orleans, perhaps drawn there by ragtime music.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Twenty Eight


It was the one thing no paranormal investigator wanted to hear; "angry gay leprechauns"


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Twenty Nine


The fan forum for the TV show about a TV fan forum caused the Internet to collapse into a singularity of complaints and porn.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Thirty


Once paper currency was replaced by erotic lithographs people started saving again.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Thirty One


They cried havoc and let slip the dogs of war, followed quickly by the cats of hurtful language and budgies of ennui.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Thirty Two


He had lost his soul to drugs and depravity but no one in Kartoon Kingdom even knew Magic Mallard had a problem.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Thirty Three


Sobering up all he recalled was kissing a woman with a mustache. Then a pair of underpants was found in the manatee tank.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Thirty Four


There are a million stories in the city, none currently involve shuffleboard.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Thirty Five


Peaches the Pony was her wish come true! If only she hadn't made her wish at that cursed well.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Thirty Six


She was so busy chasing her dreams that she trampled over his reality.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Thirty Seven


Whoever thought it didn't hurt to just ask had never gone to Mr. Nelson for a raise after he'd had a bad golf game


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Thirty Eight


Everyone knew Captain Hero was conflicted about Doomsday Girl- men in spandex have no secrets.


5 Second Fiction One Hundred and Thirty Nine


The year they held GenCon at the Playboy mansion a lot of gamers failed their save vs. hyperventilation.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Forty


Several soulless cyborgs were sent to the past from the future, most became gym teachers.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Forty One


It seems like the iPhone app for Zeno's paradoxes will never get here.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Forty Two


Of all the positions in 'THE NERDS KARMA SUTRA' the Behind Meld is still illegal in some states.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Forty Three


Of all the positions in 'THE NERDS KARMA SUTRA' the Floating Jedi position is the most rewarding.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Forty Four


If there was one thing all super heroes understood it was that in a crisis the guy no one ever heard of dies first.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Forty Five


The villain in the first PETA-Approved horror film was called Pleatherface.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Forty Seven


War after war of succession was fought over the Kingdom, no one wanted to be in charge of the damn place.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Forty Six


Hrothgar was a barbarian spy with a license to cleave.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Forty Eight


Mass confusion erupted when the International League of Hypnotists blundered into the National Staring contest.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Forty Nine


The car ride took a million years subjective time and there was only one Van Morrison CD to listen to.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Fifty


Doomsday Girl's master plan involved a dirigible and some bungee cords. It failed.

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