Sunday, April 18, 2010

5 Second Fiction Two Hundred And Fifty One Through Three Hundred

5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Fifty One


At 7 PM a giant meteor stuck the Earth, some only noticed when their cable TV went dead.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Fifty Two


The Reverend Ferdman was the first one to open a church sanctioned casino; they called it 'Holy Rollers'


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Fifty Three


Oh sure the army tried recruiting ninjas but no one ever noticed them during role call.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Fifty Four


The aliens landed in a warship that looked just like Spongebob Squarepants. The rest was easy.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Fifty Five


As he climaxed he whispered his one true love's name, everyone else in the library thought he was just talking to himself.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Fifty Six


None of the other guys in the Mob suspected Vito the Icepick's love of romantic comedies.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Fifty Seven


Captain Hero tried his luck with a darker, edgier costume and nearly got run over crossing the street at night.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Fifty Eight


Horothgar thought the mage had told him to beware of harpies when he reached Spring Break '99. He was so very wrong.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Fifty Nine


Hip hop inspired by the works of Ayn Rand was an original idea but Galt-sta Rap was a short lived fad.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Sixty


Derrick didn't know about his evil doppleganger until they both showed up to take the SATs


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Sixty One


A blow to the head caused Joe's mind to shift of all his pin numbers one memory to the left, he never used his ATM card again.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Sixty Two


Like Robinson Caruso it was primitive as can be, like most bachelor pads really.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Sixty Three


Of all her stalkers Lucy thought the one that wanted to bathe in her blood had the nicest handwriting.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Sixty Four


Psychic Pleasurebots fulfill an enduser's secret desires, many endusers don't truly know their secret desires until its too late.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Sixty Five


Supervillain Professor Ipecac is considered to have the most disgusting superpower ever.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Sixty Six


Since moving to America the vampire count had fallen on hard times but beware the Trailer Park of Dracula


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Sixty Seven


They made love and she cried out- not from pleasure but from the sight of the spider slowly lowering itself down towards the bed.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Sixty Eight


Only impure thoughts could save them now.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Sixty Nine


They tortured the morbidly obese Agent Krump by tying him to an exercise bike and letting it run. He felt the burn.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Seventy


"We may be twisted subhuman dwellers from beneath the Earth," Degmoor said, "but at least WE have health care."


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Seventy One


There was an avalanche at the ballpark, thankfully everyone got dugout.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Seventy Two


At last Captain Hero told Doomsday Girl he loved her, she still thew him down a well but she was blushing when she did it.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Seventy Three


An error required the entire class of 1986 to retake their senior year, it was just like old times but with more medication.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Seventy Four


If getting sparkly vampires in headlocks while their girlfriends watched was wrong the Fuego didn't want to be right.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Seventy Five


Suspended animation stranded the cheerleaders in a far future wasteland, but they still had spirit yes they did.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Seventy Six


Lepers prefer to have parades on windy days, that way the confetti is free!


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Seventy Seven


Magwier had just come to accept that every once in a while he was going to find himself bound and hanging from something.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Seventy Eight


Lorelei didn't plan to have a knife fight in a petting zoo but then again she was only going to turn 16 once...


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Seventy Nine


The list of things Bob wouldn't put up his nose was upsettingly brief.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Eighty


Time travelers learned the dinosaurs were accidentally wiped out by time travelers trying to learn what wiped out the dinosaurs.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Eighty One


The morale of employees can always be judged by how they treat the company restroom. Tread carefully.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Eighty Two


He didn't know she was a Born Again Vegan, she didn't know he was a Narcoleptic Transvestite. That's dating via Twitter for you.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Eighty Three


“Just don't” she said. And to her eternal disappointment he didn't.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Eighty Four


He spent his youth trying to escape from his father's legacy, then the rest of his life trying to hide behind it.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Eighty Five


Psychotic Kid was terrible at detective work, thankfully he knew how to use GOOGLE.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Eighty Six


Once they were alone in the honeymoon suite it was time to reveal the lingerie, it was the first time she had seen him in it.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Eighty Seven


Birthday Party Clown and Anger Management are two words that should never have to go together.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Eighty Eight


Many thought that once prostitution was legalized the streets would be safer, then the Pimp Wars began.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Eighty Nine


Even on his deathbed he was still trying to talk her into a threesome.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Ninety


Their love was like poetry but his was an imperfect rhyme.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Ninety One


Everyone in the company crowded into the IT department for the annual 'Running of the Nerds'


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Ninety Two


Clem was so naïve that when she asked him if he wanted to taste her muffin he told her he was on a diet.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Ninety Three


The brutal interrogations continued until morning but no one ever admitted to stealing the boss's lucky pen.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Ninety Four


There was no debate needed, they all knew 'Weaponized Vagina' was the worst name ever for a Christian rock band.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Ninety Five


The HR department hired a dominatrix, the male employees suddenly became very excited about cutbacks, no matter how much they hurt.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Ninety Six


They say that hard times build character, well Amazing Ed was one Hell of a character.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Ninety Seven


This wasn't the first time Captain Hero cursed the asylum for the criminally insane's work-release program.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Ninety Eight


Everyone always assumed the katana in the boss's office was decorational, that was before the HR massacre of 2007.


5 Second Fiction Two Hundred and Ninety Nine


Sometimes at of night Yang would wake up and think a ninja orgy could be going on somewhere in his house and he would never know.


5 Second Fiction Three Hundred


He fell into an automated sandwich making machine and died a hero.

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