5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and One Through EIght Hundred And Fifty

5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and One

While a busy day at work might make your day go by faster it also makes you feel like your life is passing you by.

5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Two

It wasn't easy but Amazing Ed fought Statueman to a standstill.

5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Three

It took years but the giant's family finally managed to get Jack charged with a Hate Crime.

5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Four

The first of the three secrets Judy told her was that she didn't know how to keep a secret.

5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Five

All the wizards knew; if you were going to summon the Lord of the Donkeys you better have a major Ass fetish.

5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Six

It made no damn sense to Judy, first the teach trans-location spells THEN they give her a curfew?

5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Seven

And Little Red Riding Hood never suspected her grandmother was deliberately trying to get her eaten by wolves.

5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Eight

Everyone on the team wanted Psychotic Kid to take his meds but he couldn't bear to change his crimfighting alias.

5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Nine

The only difference between a compulsive writer and a compulsive masturbator is that the latter empties his wastebasket more often.

5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Ten

Zeth knew there were worse things than death, the fashions he wore in the 1970's were a prime example.

5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Eleven

After the Prince dumped her Cinderella became a high class prostitute, her specialty was called 'the golden slipper'.

5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Twelve

Not only did Solent Gene not hide his identity, he was also the first fully edible super hero.

5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Thirteen

It started with “What's your sign?” Continued with “Wanna come back to my place?” Then became, “What the Hell is that?”

5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Fourteen

Every time IT upgraded the system to make it more user friendly another rep was hospitalized for acute angina.

5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Fifteen

Not only was the Maven the scourge of the underworld, most of the underworld had no idea what her name meant.

5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Sixteen

Pretty much every guy that Audra fell for ended up dying, it wasn't the kind of thing you brought up on a first date.

5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Seventeen

Every time a child starlet appears on the scene there is some guy counting down until her eventual Maxim pictorial.

5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Eighteen

For Mario Krump one of the best part of working for Homeland Security was being able to get dirt on his high school bullies.

5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Nineteen

Once video game technology became advanced enough to communicate with the spirit world XBOXlive had to change its name.

5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Twenty

In a very special episode of Law & Order: Greek Mythology Sysphus managed to push the stone over the hill crushing Narcissus.

5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Twenty One

In this age of the internet the most bizarre fetish is having no bizarre fetish at all

5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Twenty Two

Given the chance to live high school over again Eric put so many blemishes on his permanent record that it became a box set.

5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Twenty Three

It was eventual that every channel would have nothing but reality programs. Creativity is simply not cost-essential anymore.

5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Twenty Four

With their funding cut off the dance troupe found work at a local garage doing ballet parking.

5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Twenty Five

Karl had an extensive collection of dirty books, dirty movies and dirty pictures yet his house was spotlessly clean.

5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Twenty Six

He preached that your misfortunes were the result of sins you or your ancestors, when that meteorite hit him no one was surprised.

5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Twenty Seven

“That's the problem with alien symbiotes,” Rusty Johnson explained, “they're like clingy girlfriends but clingier.”

5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Twenty Eight

It came as quiet a shock to the Jersey Devil when he was downsized but Chupacabra was willing to do the work at a much lower rate.

5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Twenty Nine

Like all good salespeople Gary learned that selling his soul and values had a surprisingly good commission rate.

5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Thirty

Flowers, candy, jewelry, he had everything he needed for Valentine's day. Except a girlfriend.

5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Thirty One

Solyent Gene the edible superhero did have a costume, just a t-shirt that read EAT ME.

5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Thirty Two

By his fifth marriage Joe finally realized he was just too much man for one woman.

5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Thirty Three

One of members of the superteam Emo Force had steel claws but she usually just used them to cut herself.

5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Thirty Four

“No more asking me to make sheep noises in bed,” Yasmine warned her husband. “This means ewe.”

5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Thirty Five

Every day Magic Marvin visited the Kingdom of Make Believe and Adventure, at least until the hospital staff made him take his meds.

5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Thirty Six

Lorelei Miller had faced vampires, zombies and ghosts from the future but she wasn't sure if the was ready to attend a frat party.

5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Thirty Seven

Cyborg superhero Rusty Johnson's greatest technical challenge was installing a cloaking device on his monster truck.

5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Thirty Eight

One man creates all of the sleazy sexual metaphors used by the porn industry, his name is Craven Moorehead.

5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Thirty Nine

Years later Kenny truly came to understand how much he had loved Gamera. It was turtle eclipse of the heart.

5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Forty

As if his self esteem wasn't bad enough he had recently joined Facebook- the high school reunion that never ends.

5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Forty One

Professor Lindquist had long searched for a way to combine laptops and sea life, then he invented the wireless cod.

5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Forty Two

Captain Eagle of the Space Patrol found himself at a moral crossroads, so he blew up both planets.

5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Forty Three

Pam worked exclusively from the spell-book she had bought in El Paso. All her hexes came from Texas.

5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Forty Four

“To see the flaws in the capitalism go to a shopping mall, to see the breakdown of the social contract visit the restrooms.”

5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Forty Five

Glam rocker/superhero Roy Ramses didn't have a secret identity but he was terrified of being seen without eyeliner.

5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Forty Six

“Look,” Judy said, “I'm not here because of a silly legacy or scholarship. I'm here because my mom is screwing the Dean!”

5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Forty Seven

He was into the whole getting tied up thing until she started setting his leg hairs on fire. Actually he was still pretty into it.

5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Forty Eight

When death comes for you,” the fortune teller warned, “its breath will be minty fresh.”

5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Forty Nine

Everyone suspected that aliens were visiting Earth in human guise, no one suspected it was because of their love of funnel cakes.

5 Second Fiction Eight Hundred and Fifty

It wasn't until he had sex with a 4,000 year old Egyptian mummy that Abner truly understood what a dry hump was.