5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred and One
People gained super powers from crazy accidents all the time but this was the first time it had happened with a nose hair trimmer.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred and Two
Juan had a serious crush on the immigration officer but her southern border stayed secure.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred and Three
The statues made of dried monkey snot were surprisingly popular, soon stores were ordering them by the gross.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred and Four
As he sat there he was sure he felt his testicles beginning drop but it was just the toilet beginning to overflow.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred and Five
It was a nice idea to host a cotillion for the local prostitutes but they really shouldn't have called it a hoedown.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred and Six
They created volume one of the 'Mastectomies Gone Wild' video but it turned out to just be a one off.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred and Seven
He said the best thing about Tumblr was that it was all the filth of the old USENET groups with none of the waiting for downloads.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred and Eight
He had the cleanest bathroom on the barracks but he tried not to let it go to his head.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred and Nine
He was the toughest, meanest florist in the Old West.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred and Ten
She spent all her time telling people why they were going to burn in Hell, the other souls in Heaven got tired of it real fast.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred and Eleven
He only glimpsed a few moments of the All Lunch Lady sex tape but he could never eat chipped beef again.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred and Twelve
Say what you want about zombie surgeons but they always leave a clean operation room behind.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred and Thirteen
Oil spills, terrorism, and the rise of Justin Bieber left Dr. Overlord wondering if taking over the world was worth the effort.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred and Fourteen
“Celebrity deaths come in threes, ordinary deaths come in the hundred thousands."
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred and Fifteen
They caught her working nude in the photo lab and charged her with indecent exposure.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred and Sixteen
They were a race of shapeshifters that could take the form of trousers and slacks, but no one cared much about the Pantsformers.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred and Seventeen
Thanks to his long years working in a call center he was known to shout ‘Please Hold!” while making love.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred and Eighteen
The cobra venom left Abner Deggent with blurry eyesight, the drag queens that rescued him left him excited and confused.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred and Nineteen
The explosion drove a CD four inches into Brett's skull, but this wasn't the first time he'd gotten a song stuck in his head.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred and Twenty
It there was one thing life has taught him it was some days you're the hillbilly and some days you're Ned Beatty.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred and Twenty One
Amoeba-Man and ShadoMask were too late. The Society of Evil Princesses left carnage and girlish giggles in their wake.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred and Twenty Two
He hated it when his wife brought her work home with her, she was a beekeeper.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred and Twenty Three
If not for the clumsy EMT he would have died; because the clumsy EMT dropped the defibrillator on his crotch he wasn't grateful.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred and Twenty Four
He went back in time to keep himself from getting his girlfriend pregnant, she went back in time to stop him- then it got kinky.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred and Twenty Five
He called his router 'Waitress' because he wanted to use it as a server.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred and Twenty Six
During the war she passed counterfeit bank notes created during the quiet of a ceasefire and checks forged in the heat of battle.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred and Twenty Seven
The failed Michael Jackson impersonator stole an electrolysis machine, now he truly was a smooth criminal.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred and Twenty Eight
Every day she became more certain that she was being watched, then someone explained how to turn off the webcam on her laptop.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred and Twenty Nine
The giant cyborg known as the Yachtoid could turn into a schooner but was destroyed when someone shot him in his porthole.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred and Thirty
"This isn't a call center!" he cried, "This is LORD OF THE FLIES with headsets!"
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred and Thirty One
World Wrestling Entertainment created a greeting card line. The advertisements said- "When you care enough to send sweaty men."
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred and Thirty Two
They don't let just anyone join the International Society of Nearsighted Pornographers, you have to have the right contacts.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred and Thirty Three
"Nobody cares when a new super heroine fights crime wearing tiny shorts," Amazing Ed stated,"but if I do it everyone gets upset."
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred and Thirty Four
The question remained, if a plane full of zombies crashed on the American-Canadian border where would they bury the survivors?
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred and Thirty Five
The spy division made one of her breasts implants into a fully automated camera, or as they called it- a photographic mammary.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred and Thirty Six
Supervillain Chef Julia Infant hated it when her pastry-based minions were called Doughnut Men she preferred People of Cruller.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred and Thirty Seven
To Lorelei the best part of magic was learning the secrets of the cosmos and using that knowledge to beat the crap out of someone.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred and Thirty Eight
Abner Deggent grinned as the native girls undressed him, he had misheard when they said they were there to baste him.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred and Thirty Nine
After twenty-five years of marriage the only thing that upset her more than her husband was the thought of living without him.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred and Forty
Azathoth the lord of chaos pulsed to the sound of idiot piping, yet it found the sound of the vuvuzela pretty fucking annoying.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred and Forty One
They are out of bread in the Wastelands but there is still plenty of ale; I will show you beer and a handful of crust.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred and Forty Two
Professor Lindquist spent a year running tests on sleeping fish only to discover that a dream is a wish your carp makes.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred and Forty Three
Abner Deggent tried to smuggle the stolen idol off the island by hiding it in his ass but the damn mule kicked the crap out of him.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred and Forty Four
The Maven deduced Limerick Master's true identity! He really was a young man from Nantucket! But the rest was all lies.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred and Forty Five
Lorelei was ready to face her evil twin from an alternate universe, she was not ready for the woman's ceaseless accordion playing.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred and Forty Six
He was very excited at the prospect of wife-swapping but then he found out he had to take his old wife back when it was over.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred and Forty Seven
He quit his job by setting his pants on fire, he was always one for burning his britches.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred and Forty Eight
Pricing Paradox Protection kept people from buying time machines and using them to see time machines would go on sale.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred and Forty Nine
Judy would have been better at witchcraft but she was a terrible cook.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Four Hundred and Fifty
Many suggested it about time that Mighty Woman updated her armored costume but she was very attached to it, welded into it actually.
No comments:
Post a Comment