Saturday, August 7, 2010

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and One Through One Thousand Three Hundred and Fifty

5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and One


'Nietzsche' All Natural Male Enhancement drug, because that what does not kill us makes us longer...


5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Two


Karl jumped at the chance to spend the night with a pair of sexy twins; he never thought to ask if they might be conjoined.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Three


A lot of people didn't like the idea of Lucy living with her parents but the family mausoleum was roomy and she saved money on rent.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Four


The shouting contest was on a Tuesday but he showed up on Wednesday. A day late and a holler short.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Five


It was a question every super hero on patrol faced- do they relieve themselves in an alley or used a risk using a public restroom?


5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Six


There were a dozen deaths and a fire that claimed half the jungle but by God Abner Deggent got his lucky tie clip back.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Seven


In the 21st Century the newest death-defying extreme sport became making fun of major religions via cartoons.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Eight


The weirdest thing about the indie rock band 'The Fifty Fingers' is that it has seven members.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Nine


He always knew he would see her again, he just expected something more romantic than a paternity suit would bring them together.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Ten


It was then that Reverend Brooks realized that being a right-wing anti-gay activist was a fantastic way to pick up guys.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Eleven


On his birthday Dave parachuted into Sturgis in a BIKERS ARE PUSSIES t-shirt. For those last few minutes he never felt more alive.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Twelve


Zeth knew it was springtime in the city of Olathoe when revolutionaries began to sprout up everywhere, like dandelions in bad hats.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Thirteen


The Maven didn't like views of the villain called the Creationist but she had to admit his crimes were intelligently designed.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Fourteen


Dagorax was a mad god gnawing mindlessly at the very fabric of the universe and it never, ever flossed


5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Fifteen


"If there is one thing I've learned it's that while marriage may be a lot of work it still isn't as much work as hiding a body."


5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Sixteen


She was a magical princess, animals followed her and doted on her; her family learned to love the taste of venison and rabbit.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Seventeen


The DM in the back said everyone attack and it turned into a Balrog blitz.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Eighteen


Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows everywhere- this was the last time the team let Amazing Ed decorate their secret base.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Nineteen


The gunshot was deflected by the bag of macadamias in his pocket leaving Abner Deggent glad the bullet only grazed his nut sack.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Twenty


The Legion of Protectors were the first super hero team to recognize the awesome power of marketing.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Twenty One


When Karl asked her if she liked crabs she just assumed he was going to take her out to a nice seafood restaurant.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Twenty Two


Once network execs realized the living dead watched television a 24 hour Jay Leno channel was the inevitable consequence.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Twenty Three


Captain Hero had to admit that his encounter with the villain known as 'the Stain' had left quite an impression.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Twenty Four


When the Wolf Man found out his wife was having an affair with one of the Cat People the fur flew.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Twenty Five


There was raw sewage in the copier room, an intern was on fire and the boss was off his meds. It was going to be a long Friday.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Twenty Six


It was in the early years of the 21st century that the epic story of Man vs Nature began to resemble torture porn.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Twenty Seven


Everyone realized that cyborg superhero Rusty Johnson was in love when the saw him spot welding Erato's name on his own arm.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Twenty Eight


Abner Deggent bragged he had snapped the necks of at least one major species on each continent- sometimes even in self defense.


Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Twenty Nine


Everyone said he died doing what he loved. Nobody said he had been crushed trying to steal a Japanese used panty vending machine.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Thirty


Trixie's Treats served the finest pies in all of Texas. Her secret? She always remembered the Ala Mode.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Thirty One


He had heard about that new gel that heightened female arousal and simply assumed there was jewelry at the bottom of the container.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Thirty Two


A wizard scattered the king's army through time, many were stranded in small groups but was only one Knight in Bangkok.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Thirty Three


Karl learned early on that there was no cologne in the world that could mask the scent of horny desperation.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Thirty Four


The Bimbo Marionette was popular on the Island of Misfit Toys- because she was always up for sex with no strings attached.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Thirty Five


One kingdom was controlled by Lord Murphy, the other by Sir Layman. Peasants had to chose between Murphy's rule or Layman's terms.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Thirty Six


In her sermon she explained that the savior was actually made from vegetable matter.

Then she said "Lettuce pray."


5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Thirty Seven


Whenever Captain Hero crossed paths with the evil chef Julia Infant he mocked her half-baked schemes.


Was he just egging her on?


5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Thirty Eight


He owed his career as a proctologist to his brilliant mind. He owed several lawsuits to his lack of depth perception.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Thirty Nine


Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, unless of course you're a vampire.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Forty


Cyborg superhero Rusty Johnson accidentally swallowed bullets and then spent the night projectile vomiting projectiles.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Forty One


It turned him on to dress up as a fly. He had a shoo fetish.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Forty Two


"I think there should be a fancy term for gratuitous nudity or incongruous sex scenes- Deus Ex Whackinov."


5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Forty Three


At last the aviary was complete! Now she could spend as much time as she wanted holding her boobies and stroking her tits.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Forty Four


If anything Sir Grundle's hemorrhoids only increased his fury as he rode in to battle.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Forty Five


One of the bloodied executives looked up from the dismembered body and asked, "Tell me again how this serves our core values?"


5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Forty Six


"It doesn't matter if you're a space knight, a super hero or a mystical warrior- you're wearing someone's idea of fetish gear.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Forty Seven


Horthgar the Viking really hated ninjas, some suspected he had a case of katana envy.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Forty Eight


Budget cuts forced the starship's councilor to also act as the starship's bartender- she usually advised her patients to drink more


5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Forty Nine


The invention of the first suit of hi-tech battle armor was the result of Texans trying to create larger and larger belt buckles.


5 Second Fiction One Thousand Three Hundred and Fifty


Judges for wet t-shirt contests must be willing to work late hours for no pay, despite that many men still answer the call.


No comments:

Post a Comment