5 Second Fiction Four Hundred And Fifty One Through Five Hundred

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Fifty One

Like every mad scientist he started out in childhood with an Etch-A-Sketch, an EZ-Bake Oven and a thirst for revenge.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Fifty Two

She understood that the secret to a happy marriage was humor, understanding and occasional use of a strap on sexual device.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Fifty Three

If nothing else putting Darrin Puffnstuff in charge of the HR Department did raise morale.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Fifty Four

For his 1st adventure Mr. Xtreme tried to arrest a biker gang for double parking, there was no 2nd adventure.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Fifty Five

Nature Boy's only power was the the ability to find convenient vines to swing from, even on the subway. It was uncanny.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Fifty Six

Once he saw the truth he had to look away.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Fifty Seven

“Cthulhoid breast implants? That explains it! No man can resist the Mounds of Tinados.”

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Fifty Eight

In the end cats saved the world, and they were pretty damn smug about it too.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Fifty Nine

Once the zombies reached Margaritaville he truly became a Jimmy Buffet.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Sixty

The rivalry between genetic research teams escalated into a battle between armies of hairless mammoths and singing landsquids.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Sixty One

Lord Wells challenged several rivals, scheduling all the duels for the same day and escaped in the chaos of swordplay and gunfire.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Sixty Two

“Christians smell like incense, worshipers of eldrich gods smell like musty tomes and Satanists smell like Astroglide.”

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Sixty Three

It wasn't until he was having sex with a beehive that Hui realized the 7 Challenges of Death were just a way to screw with newbies.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Sixty Four

The warrior, the magic user and the thief abandoned exploring dungeons in favor of an elaborate Ponzi scheme.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Sixty Five

Karl finally understood why some condoms were for enhanced sensitivity when she started pointing and laughing

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Sixty Six

The juice box fight quickly got out of hand and the entire server system went down in a shower of sparks and lemon-mango.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Sixty Seven

On the way home to his wife he took a Viagra then got stuck in traffic for two hours. Thank God for tinted windows.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Sixty Eight

A bizarre scheduling error resulted in GWAR playing at the late senator's funeral.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Sixty Nine

There were tiny bells on the silver anklet she wore; they jangled wildly as she ran for her life.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Seventy

It was a banner day when Dave's therapist declared him to be less bi-polar than his job.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Seventy One

The magical kingdom was plagued by wandering monsters- real estate was that expensive.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Seventy Two

He was a maverick, unafraid to bend the rules or take chances, not a good thing when you run a daycare for hemophiliac children.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Seventy Three

Karl kept his pornography alphabetized and cross indexed by fetish because even being anal-retentive turned him on.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Seventy Four

The new supervillain in town was named 'Skidmarks' and Captain Hero prayed that it was because he had super speed

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Seventy Five

Actually no one was surprised when it was discovered the Quality Control Department misspelled their name on their stationary.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Seventy Six

In his confusion Grandpa Jones tucked his shirt into his boxers that day, all the kids thought he had gone gangsta.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Seventy Seven

Magwier said, “Avoid your past self, it never changes anything and you'll think you're going to turn into a know it all.”

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Seventy Eight

It was not the sound of the rats in the walls that drove him mad, it was the bagpiper in the toaster oven.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Seventy Nine

The Cheerleaders of the Wasteland fought the rabbit men until all they saw was a receding hare line.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Eighty

Scientists created a device that gave orgasms based on Twitter popularity. Sadly no one Re-Tweeted the news.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Eighty One

The MPAA created a new film rating called "May Cause Insanity In Young Viewers" but people brought their kids anyway.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Eighty Two

Once Jason Magwier discovered they were going to try and kill Audra with an explosive welcome mat he knew he better step on it.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Eighty Three

Whenever time machines collide everyone in the world gets déjà vu, just not at once.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Eighty Four

Sure jetpacks are all fun and games until someone accidentally burns the flesh from their ankles.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Eighty Five

The house was sleek and modern until she stepped into the basement and found herself in the Rec Room That Time Forgot.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Eighty Six

Ironically enough the supervillain Sharkface was captured using a bait car.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Eighty Seven

The Cinemax After Dark reboot of 'Gilligan's Island' was a surprise hit.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Eighty Eight

Ironically enough the Devil couldn't stand Death Metal.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Eighty Nine

“The demon promised to bring back grandma if I gave up my fiancée,” Captain Hero said. “It was the stupidest thing I ever heard.”

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Ninety

“There is no logical way to make this argument,” Zeth said. “We'd better get a woman to do it.”

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Ninety One

Then the elevator Karl and the supermodels were trapped began to fill with K-Y jelly. When the alarm clock went off he smashed it.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Ninety Two

Brad's wife warned him she was going to try and kill him in a few moments but he never paid attention to anything she had to say.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Ninety Three

You can visit the Erotic Dental Institute but you damn well better rinse throughly afterwards.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Ninety Four

The office had catered meals all week – no one in management ate, they just eyed the plumper employees and licked their lips.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Ninety Five

Amazing Ed insisted that his invisible and intangible sidekick was not imaginary.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Ninety Six

She was very concerned about sin – everyone else's' anyway.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Ninety Seven

The clown car skidded into oncoming traffic; torn metal, broken glass and rubber noses littered the highway.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Ninety Eight

Todd went to college hoping to major in bacchanalia but he couldn't even manage a minor in epicureanism.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred and Ninety Nine

Marriages shouldn't be loveless affairs organized by strangers- but all the best bachelor parties are.

5 Second Fiction Five Hundred

“In the end love makes monsters of us all.”