5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Fifty One Through Four Hundred

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Fifty One

'Disposable fingers' The thought woke him up in the middle of the night and kept him awake till dawn.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Fifty Two

Captain Hero found the big city superheroes intimidating with their actual superpowers, gleaming costumes and armies of lawyers.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Fifty Three

Time travelers ruined the joy of rare coin collecting for everyone.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Fifty Four

Rebooting an entire starship was a dangerous business but the Persea was light years from the nearest software upgrade.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Fifty Six

Magwier awoke with a gasp and found the satin lined walls of a coffin pressing in around him. “Not again,” he groaned.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Fifty Seven

Whenever he ran naked in a thunderstorm it was always the same thing, a quick flash and a huge crack.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Fifty Eight

Captain Hero founded the super team known as the Local Heroes, they fought crime and attended the occasional mall opening.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Fifty Nine

He was a magician by trade so no matter how much stripper glitter transferred to his clothes his wife never suspected a thing.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Sixty

Each night John Sig heard beatings and abuse going on next door; but even after he killed everyone there he still couldn't sleep.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Sixty One

Captain Hero had no powers aside from his noble heart and better than average people skills- a rare thing in his business.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Sixty Two

Once it was decided that shaky cam films were passe, shaky movie screens became all the rage.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Sixty Three

The morbidly obese Agent Krump kept shooting fleeing suspects in the legs until Homeland Security bought him a Segway.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Sixty Four

The monster was built from body parts of celebrities that died young. It was horrible to look at but damn well knew how to party.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Sixty Five

Fearful of the spread of socialism many Americans fled to an island where they survived by sharing resources and responsibilities.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Sixty Six

“and I was filled with sepulcherous dread at the hint of playthings hidden in my house- the BRATZ in the walls.”

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Sixty Seven

Luchador crimefighter Fuego was on disability for 12 weeks after throwing his back out fighting robots and Aztec mummies.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Sixty Eight

Since being dead is a pre-existing medical condition, few zombies have health care of any sort.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Sixty Nine

“It was the Devil's picnic and we were the ants.”

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Seventy

By and by the family lost interest in the dog but he never lost interest in them, and that made it worse.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Seventy One

Special Agent Mario Krump went through each suspects' file until his suspicions were confirmed, they were all idiots.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Seventy Two

Fuego and Rusty Johnson captured one of the dreaded Shellfish Gang, but then they lobster.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Seventy Three

In a war between super heroes and mobsters no matter who lost only the cliches won.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Seventy Four

He road off into the sunset, it was all in another days' work for Slim Baker: Grief Councilor of the Wild Frontier.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Seventy Five

Every night the super team The Local Heroes went on patrol, excerpt for Sundays- that was the pot luck dinner.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Seventy Six

There were to things Audra never seemed to have enough of; spell components and clean panties.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Seventy Seven

After years of chanting and ceremonies Madame Tara was contacted by the spirit world. They told her to shut the Hell up.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Seventy Eight

The Olympic Committee had to choose between D&D or Co-Ed Mud Wrestling as new events. No one expected them be combined instead.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Seventy Nine

Jason Magwier knew that if you were a shape shifter you went through a lot of shoes.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Eighty

One by one the Muses were driven out of Olympus by the gods of remakes, fan fiction and sampling.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Eighty One

Inspired by recent political events Gary shouted “YOU LIE!” at an employee meeting. The District Manager burst into tears and agreed.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Eighty Two

Once HP Lovecraft was resurrected from his essential salts he promptly began suing the Hell out of everybody.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Eighty Three

Captain Hero offered to reform Doomsday Girl, she offered to ruin him- both left the encounter tempted but alone.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Eighty Four

“The difference between a succubus and a poetess is that a succubus won't make you listen to her poems before she eats your soul.”

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Eighty Five

The meeting of the Morality Action Group became so heated that an orgy broke out. Later they blamed the television.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Eighty Six

A lifetime later he still kept a photograph of his old love hidden away, he never suspected that his wife knew and understood.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Eighty Seven

Attending church became like flossing and making love, something she only did once or twice a year- and usually under duress.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Eighty Eight

Psychotic Kid and Fuego were the only members of the team brave enough to confront Hrothgar the Viking about his hygiene issues.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Eighty Nine

A job opening for a professional time traveler was listed in the paper months after the position was filled.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Ninety

It was a sin for him to fantasize about other women so instead he re-imagined his wife in series of complex disguises.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Ninety One

The first starship powered by Google technology truly was a Search Engine.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Ninety Two

It wasn't a wasn't a rare thing for Lorelei to be overcome with love for her mother- just never to the woman's face.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Ninety Three

Lesser women might have traded their virtue but the Cheerleaders of the Wasteland took their purity rings very seriously.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred Ninety Four

The ship hit an iceberg then the rescue plane hit the ship; and to think she had taken a vacation because she was feeling suicidal.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Ninety Five

The young prince tried to woo the maiden fair but in the end just hooked up with her slutty older sister instead.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Ninety Six

That night the demi-god Erato joined the team, and Amazing Ed almost ruined it all by asking if she was there for light housework.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Ninety Seven

He confessed that he was an atheist and came to church to pick up chicks, Pastor Ferdman was glad to learn he wasn't the only one.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Ninety Eight

Little is known of the Dread Lords save that they can only be summoned by love and only be sated by blood.

5 Second Fiction Three Hundred and Ninety Nine

"I don't negotiate with terrorists." He said.

"Stop being dramatic and tell the Laundromat we lost the damn ticket." She ordered.

5 Second Fiction Four Hundred

The rescue mission ended awkwardly when Captain Hero and Doomsday Girl were found engaged what was not a life and death struggle.