Saturday, March 27, 2010

5 Second Fiction One Through Fifty

5 Second Fiction One

Lorelei hid in dreams and lost herself in nightmares but whenever she awoke there he was- plain as day.

5 Second Fiction Two

Lorelei and Audra stared in disbelief as the last thug crumpled. Who would ever have thought the Amish kid knew kung-fu?

5 Second Fiction Three

Magwier explained they were called the dark gods because they lived in men’s' hearts.

5 Second Fiction Four

For Rachel the best and worst part of being a vampire was the feeding, tasting both soul and memory before snuffing it out.

5 Second Fiction Five

"I love being a secret agent." Bernard Flapdoodle explained, "But I just can't take all those goofy codenames."

5 Second Fiction Six

It was the kind of Honeymoon she had always dreamed about -until the burning clown hit the balcony.

5 Second Fiction Seven

The man in the high-backed chair was dying and Zeth was content to watch

5 Second Fiction Eight

Lorelei breathed a sigh of relief, "How did you know which of us was the duplicate?"

Zeth holstered his pistol, "I guessed."

5 Second Fiction Nine

Gary paused, when he spoke his mouth was full, "What do you mean I'm not eating cheese curd?"

5 Second Fiction Ten

Passion spent they lay half-clothed and entwined on the buffet table. This was class reunion that no one would ever forget.

5 Second Fiction Eleven

Terrance never realized how much his girlfriend and her mother sounded alike until he called her house to ask for oral sex.

5 Second Fiction Twelve

"It's rough going." Magwier said, "Keep hold of my hand."

Isobel cleared her throat, "Uh, I'm over here."

"Oh dear."

5 Second Fiction Thirteen

Lorelei HATED zombies. They were like Wal-Marts- easily created and seemingly around every corner these days.

5 Second Fiction Fourteen

Things were tough all over, that was why Captain Hero patrolled the city from a taxi. And the fares paid for fresh spandex.

5 Second Fiction Fifteen

It wasn’t so much the rumors of cannibalism that destroyed his candidacy as much as it was all of those damn photographs.

5 Second Fiction Sixteen

"I've never been to a haunted house before." Isobel said.

"How can you truly be sure?" Magwier grinned at the thought.

5 Second Fiction Seventeen

Psychotic Kid had been Captain Hero’s sidekick for years. Mostly because restraining orders meant nothing to him.

5 Second Fiction Eighteen

The instructors were reluctant to let Isobel learn any new incantations until she promised not to use any on them.

5 Second Fiction Nineteen

Zeth let the last of them get away least for a while.

5 Second Fiction Twenty

Special Agent Krump waved the DNA test results triumphantly, "According to the lab the blood on the walls was ...mine?"

5 Second Fiction Twenty-One

The suspension bridge lurched, cables snapped. One of the three men hanging to the edge said "Is this male bonding or what?"

5 Second Fiction Twenty-Two

As far as Gary was concerned you hadn't lived until you heard your supervisor screaming at you to put your pants back on.

5 Second Fiction Twenty-Three

The terrorists had control of the prom but Captain Hero had a secret plan- Barry Manilow music playing at maximum volume!

5 Second Fiction Twenty-Four

This wasn't the first time Audra had put herself in danger for the sake of a frozen custard but it just might be the last.

5 Second Fiction Twenty-Five

Jason Magwier wasn't afraid of death or dismemberment- poetry slams on the other hand...

5 Second Fiction Twenty Six

Professor Mayhem abandoned super villainy shortly after the night he realized he couldn't find his invisible zeppelin.

5 Second Fiction Twenty Seven

Vic stumbled from his car and stared up at a sky of alien stars and broken moons. He breathed, "Damn you Mapquest."

5 Second Fiction Twenty Eight

The air was thick with ghosts; Audra inhaled deeply.

5 Second Fiction Twenty Nine

He was like a sculptor creating a living breathing monument from her desire, she cooed and purred. Then the rancid omelets kicked in...

5 Second Fiction Thirty

Magwier said, "This can only end in blood and tears."

Dan shook his head, "You guys take open mike night way too seriously."

5 Second Fiction Thirty One

The seven shambling creatures drew closer. Zeth checked the clip- just six bullets left, “This is going to be tricky.”

5 Second Fiction Thirty Two

Yes she had once said "Not if you were the last man on Earth" but Barry was sure the actual Apocalypse had changed that.

5 Second Fiction Thirty Three

"He's not truly dead." The call center manager choked back tears, "He's gone on to work in the queue eternal."

5 Second Fiction Thirty Four

"Great." Lorelei said with annoyance, "Vampires. The douchebags of the supernatural world."

Lord Evernight just glared.

5 Second Fiction Thirty Five

Max sighed and sat down on the edge of the curb. He wondered to himself, "Why are the cute ones always Nazis?"

5 Second Fiction Thirty Six

"What did you do?" Rachel's voice was a whisper.

"What does it look like?" Dr. Flesh said, "I turned him inside out."

5 Second Fiction Thirty Seven

Jason Magwier wasn't about to go jumping from one rooftop to another, his girlfriend on the other hand...

5 Second Fiction Thirty Eight

Psychotic Kid knew being tied up was one of the risks of being a super hero. Then one day he realized he kind of liked it

5 Second Fiction Thirty Nine

They might have gotten away with it if not for that damn mime with tourettes.

5 Second Fiction Forty

Lorelei hated LA- there were too many blondes with empty heads and foolish dreams. It was like an ingénue factory.

5 Second Fiction Forty One

Bad enough he was a cyborg- even worse his name was 'Rusty Johnson'.

5 Second Fiction Forty Two

Once the technology was available the time travelers to hippies ratio at the original Woodstock was 4 to 1.

5 Second Fiction Forty Three

Zeth raised his aching head as far as the chains would allow, "What do you mean things could have been worse?"

5 Second Fiction Forty Four

All through his marriage he had tried to keep a tight hold on her but in the end all he was left holding was a photograph.

5 Second Fiction Forty Five

"I have a thing for older men." Audra explained, "Mostly because they're idiots."

5 Second Fiction Forty Six

It was a widely held opinion that the super-hero known as Amoeba-Man had self-esteem issues.

5 Second Fiction Forty Seven

"Not only do you have no idea WHAT the Hell you're doing." Audra said, "You also have no idea WHO the Hell you're doing."

5 Second Fiction Forty Eight

The real tragedy of Dr. Craven Slaughterface was that he actually was a pretty damn good pediatrician.

5 Second Fiction Forty Nine

If two celebrities hadn't died that week the news outlets probably would have spent more time covering the alien invasion.

5 Second Fiction Fifty

My one regret is that I never had the chance to use the words 'werewolf', 'linguine' and 'outhouse' in a single sentence.

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