5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and One
She spent her entire work week making plans for the weekend, then when Saturday came she slept until 2 PM.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Two
He never imagined he would fall for pirate girl with a missing hand but from the moment they met he was hooked.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Three
The church elders decided phallic-shaped sandwiches were an affront to God. It was full speed ahead and damn the torpedoes.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Four
If anyone ever learned what the crunchy bits in Jim's homemade potato salad were, they would have gone mad.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Five
Seven castaways washed up on that island but the skinny guy kept ruining their attempts to be rescued so the others killed him.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Six
Supervillain Chef Julia Infant threatened to fill the oceans with breakfast pastries until the Earth became a planet of the crêpes.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Seven
Magwier and Lorelei drove off leaving the Bone Eater screaming with frustration. Magwier said "That was a marrow escape."
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Eight
The meeting went on for hours but the atheists of the world still couldn't decide who to thank when it was Friday.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Nine
He led the double life of a lawyer and a pugilist. Ever day he had to decide between boxers or briefs.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Ten
“If you suspect that phone trees are an insidious plot to break the human spirit please press one...”
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Eleven
Dave hated how computers had taken over the lumber-jacking industry, he was always forgetting to log out.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Twelve
The thrill of victory and the high pitched squeal of defeat, these are the sounds of the Mens' Nude Dodgeball League.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Thirteen
She was Abner Deggent's kind of woman all right- no self esteem and incredibly low standards.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Fourteen
Killer unicorns and a pink-colored death ray? The Society of Evil Princesses was at it again.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Fifteen
Ironically enough Amazing Ed got tea-bagged at the local amusement park's ball pit.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Sixteen
There were some that found Commander Infinity's catchphrase “You can count on me!” both confusing and annoying.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Seventeen
Superhero luchador Fuego wanted to take his old tag team partner out to dinner at an expensive restaurant but he was tapped out.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Eighteen
As Captain Hero plummeted into the garbage Dumpster he thought to himself that they just didn't make ledges like they used to.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Nineteen
They told Psychotic Kid that he'd have to be crazy to try and take on the Reddeath. He simply replied, “Well duh.”
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Twenty
The corporation went broke so fast that the CEO was left with only twenty cents to his name. Talk about new paradigms.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Twenty One
Thalia cornered the evil wizard in a deli only have him create a monster of selected meats. This was the wurst case scenario.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Twenty Two
While it was an original idea the world just wasn't ready for DELIVERANCE cosplay.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Twenty Three
Even the Great Old Ones moved with the times that was why in his house at R'yleh dead Cthulhu waits twittering.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Twenty Five
The K-Y Jelly made just for STAR WARS fans is more expensive but you will pay for you lack of friction.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Twenty Four
"She's beautiful and she has an extensive thesaurus collection," he said, "and I wanna live with a Synonym Girl."
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Twenty Six
He was a starship officer from and ice planet, he never gained high rank but soon everyone knew the story of Frosty the Yeoman.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Twenty Seven
The protesters felt building the William Shatner Museum so close to a movie theater was insensitive to the victims of STAR TREK V.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Twenty Eight
Then the Maven realized that instead of her own utility belt she was wearing Amazing Ed's Big Bandolier Of Cheese.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Twenty Nine
There had been great hopes for the world's first nation of Drag Queens but it soon turned into a rouge state.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Thirty
The only way to make a starship move faster than the speed of light was to fill it with perverts. The more warped the better.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Thirty One
The aliens tried to conquer the Earth with an army of Nazis. It was Plan Nein From Outer Space.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Thirty Two
The super hero Dismembro could literally pull his body apart piece by piece- it always gave him a leg up on the villains.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Thirty Three
It was bad enough he had shut his hand in the door to his time machine but now he had 800 year old fingers to deal with.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Thirty Four
The course promised to improve her memory with 5 easy lessons but she kept forgetting to show up.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Thirty Five
It turned out the thing Dave was really allergic to was allergy medicine.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Thirty Six
He wanted a lover with a slow hand, which was why getting felt up by zombies was such a thrill.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Thirty Seven
Like most guys he lost his virginity in college but since he went to a clown college it was a really weird experience.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Thirty Eight
Only the most die hard music historians remember the album 'Disco Lullabies' by Donna Slumber.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Thirty Nine
He wanted to be a gigolo but wasn't sure if he could satisfy an older woman, so that first time was something of a dry run.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Forty
Of all the members of Abner Deggent's rogues gallery the ex Nazi Wilhelm Screame had the most distinctive battle cry.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Forty One
It turned out the members of the Black Robed Regiment dressed that way to hide their frilly lingerie.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Forty Two
At first she was excited that her milkshake brought all the boys to the yard, then she discovered they were all lactose intolerant.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Forty Three
In his later years Lord Greystoke left the jungle to start a vineyard. That was how he came to be known as Tarzan the Grape Man.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Forty Four
He read the memos from the central office religiously but never took them as gospel because it was one damned thing after another.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Forty Five
It wasn't until her fifth marriage in six years that she realized she was addicted to wedding cakes.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Forty Six
“Old super heroes never die,” Amoeba Man said, “they just keep getting revived in increasingly improbable ways.”
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Forty Seven
“It there's one thing I've learned it's never to trust a funeral parlor with a free buffet.”
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Forty Eight
The nude rapper liked to end his shows by yelling “Piece out!”
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Forty Nine
It was the dream of perverts everywhere, a vibrating Snuggie.
5 Second Fiction One Thousand Five Hundred and Fifty
He found blogging more efficient that submitting to magazines, because now he could be ignored by millions almost instantly.
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