Enter a world of uneasy laughter and ridiculous nightmares
VOLUME ONE
Showing posts with label Tales From The Oddside. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tales From The Oddside. Show all posts
Saturday, July 2, 2016
Thursday, November 19, 2015
TALES FROM THE ODDSIDE: The Eyestalk Kid
The Eyestalk Kid
by
Al Bruno III
It began a year ago, on the third day of the Altamont Fair. It’s funny, we’d go to the fair all the time when we were kids but you know how it is when you grow up; you trade the merry go rounds and ferris wheels for productivity meetings and marketing reports. Timothy and I had no children. We had a hard enough time keeping our marriage and careers on an even keel, a rug rat would have been a disaster.
Considering everything that's happened I’m glad we made that decision.
Like I said, we went to the fair-, Timothy and I and our best friends Chris and Danielle. We were all in our middle thirties, our stomachs were too weak for the really exciting rides and our minds were too cynical for the games of chance. There was still plenty to do and see though. There were crafts, classic cars and livestock displays and if we stayed till midnight there would be fireworks. And of course there was the food, cotton candy, caramel apples, deep fried Snickers and gyros.
Actually only the boys got the gyros, Danielle and I stayed behind rolling our eyes. They’d just got done saying how full they were but the sight of the girl working the gyro stand fired up their ‘appetites’. She was barely legal and barely dressed. We let them have their fun, the girl wouldn’t dress like that if she didn’t want to be ogled right? Besides the look on their faces when they actually tried to eat those half burnt things was worth it.
We might have called it a night right there if one of us hadn’t spotted the black tent.
It was squat and wide with an ugly hand-painted banner that read 'Dr. Tarr and Mr. Fether's Cavalcade of Oddities' and beneath that in all capital letters was ‘FEATURING AUDIENCES WITH THE EYESTALK KID FOUR TIMES A DAY!’. Beneath that was this ugly image of a snail with a little boy’s face.
“What’s an Eyestalk Kid?” I asked.
“We could find out.” Chris said, “I’ve never seen a real freak show.”
“Me either,” my husband replied.
It was ten bucks a head to get in. The babushka-wearing woman working the ticket booth frowned when we asked her to break a hundred and asked if we had something smaller. We didn’t so she transformed the act of making change into a minor tantrum. “Does your boss know you treat your customers like this?” Dannielle said.
“Ah am Docta Tahh,” she shot back, “Ah am the boss smahtass!”
We should have turned back right then, told her to take her cavalcade of human oddities and shove it but I think we all thought her performance was a put on, a part of the show. All our stories of visiting the freak tent would begin with the part about the crazy lady working out front.
The inside of the tent was lit by clusters of christmas lights. Canvas partitions divided one part of the tent from the other. Each of those cramped fabric-walled rooms held it’s own display or performer. The first section of the tent was just displays, pictures of other sideshow displays from years gone by, taxidermied two-headed calves and misshapen fetuses preserved in jars of formaldehyde. Everything was streaked with grime.
From there we moved to an equally grimy waxworks display called ‘AMERICAN MONSTERS’. I was always a fan of true crime stories but if not for the signs beside each figure I wouldn’t have been able to tell their Lizzie Borden from their Ted Bundy. By the time we had shuffled past nine serial killers and one sitting President we were throughly bored.
In the next part of the tent there a banner that proclaimed ‘BEHOLD THE UNICORN- creature of legend’. The unicorn however was nothing but a deformed goat with a single horn jutting from it’s head. It bleated at us and glared from a single misshapen eye. None of us, or any of the other people that paid ten bucks to get in, were impressed.
The line moved forward again bringing us into the presence of ‘HUMAN ODDITIES - Howard Huge! Nora the Tattooed Lady! The Amazing Reginald!’
Nora the Tattooed Lady looked to be in her middle seventies and had to walk across the stage with the help of a cane. Howard Huge looked no heavier than the subject of your average reality show and he never looked up once from his smart phone. The Amazing Reginald scowled contemptuously at the audience as he bloodlessly shoved needles through his arms and face.
By the time the Amazing Regonald’s performance had reached the glass eating part of the show we were all feeling like fools. We’d been parted with our hard earned by the cash at the promise of seeing something grotesque up close and in person. We were rubes.
Timothy turned to say something to me, an apology I’m sure, when a frail looking man in a Hawaiian shirt stepped out from behind a hidden fold in the tent. “Ladies. And. Gentlemen.” He coughed wetly for a few moments before continuing, “I am Mr. Fether. I hope you have enjoyed our little production. I hope we have brought a little wonder to your otherwise humdrum lives.”
Dannielle exchanged a glance at that, a thousand sarcastic comments on our lips.
There was another long fit of coughing before Mr. Fether could speak again, “But now you stand on the precipice of a true revelation. At this moment, in a specially prepared aerobionic chamber, the Eyestalk Kid and his hermaphrodite harem await.”
No one knew what he was talking about. ‘Aerobionic chamber’? ‘hermaphrodite harem’? It was getting warm in the tent and there was a aquarium odor filtering in to the chamber. Mr. Fether drew the curtain back revealing an empty pegboard wall. There were voices chanting behind that wall, wet whispers of “…allelujah…” repeating over and over again.
After some more coughing then Mr. Fether spoke again, “For a mere fifty dollars you may gaze upon the Eyestalk Kid, you may hear one of his famous sermons and risk his blessing!”
“Fifty dollars?” Timothy said, “You want more money?”
“The Eyestalk Kid and his disciples have specific needs that require specific payments,” Mr. Fether explained, as the ‘allelujahs’ grew louder and louder, “but you will find him worth every penny.”
“Let’s get out of here.” I said.
Dannielle agreed, “We’ve been suckered enough for one night.”
“Actually,” Timothy said, “I want to see this.”
“Me too,” Chris nodded.
“Oh my God!” I shouted, “Don ’t be a fool.”
Timothy blushed again, “Honey you’re making a scene.”
And everyone was watching, the Human Oddities, Mr. Fether and all the rest of the people that had been suckered into the tent. Feeling self conscious I said, “Do what you want I’ll be waiting in the car.”
Frowning but undaunted Timothy and Chris reached for their wallets, and, after giving me a guilty shrug, Danielle joined them.
I left them to it.
Half an hour went by, then an hour. I’d expected them to come slinking back to the car by then but I was still waiting and alone as the fireworks began and the parking lot began to clear out. Eventually, despite my annoyance and despite the fact I was sitting up straight in the drivers seat of my car I fell asleep.
The sound of Timothy scrambling into the seat beside me was what woke me up. He was shouting, “Go!” He said “Get us home!”
“Where were you?” I asked as Chris and Dannielle got into the back, “What took you so long?”
“We have to go home,” he said again.
Without the rows and rows of other cars and local carnies in orange vests it was hard to navigate dark, empty field that the Altamont fair used for a parking lot. Chris and Danielle were turned around in their seats the entire way to Route 146. When speeding towards Albany, Danielle made eye contact with me in the rearview mirror. It was too dark to be sure I she looked like she’d been crying, “We should have listened to you.”
I felt sick to my stomach,“What happened?” I asked, “Tell me what happened.”
“We can’t tell you what happened. It’s still happening.” Timothy had his face buried in his hands, when he spoke his voice was muffled, “I’m sorry.”
Chris started laughing, the sound was almost a scream, “Tim! I’m wearing your shirt!”
Timothy barely spoke to me the next day. He said he wasn’t feeling well so I let it pass. When I got home from the office I found him lying under the bedcovers and mumbling. He wasn’t running a temperature but his skin was clammy to the touch.
Since I had no sick time left I decided to sleep on the recliner. The next morning I found him cocooned in the blankets and sheets, everything was soaked with sweat that had a swampy odor to it. Timothy wouldn’t speak more than two words to me but those words were, “Love you.”
I started to worry he might have gotten food poisoning from that gyro slut. He could barely lift his head off the pillow so I had to call him in sick to work. His boss was really pissy about it but there was no way Timothy could even drive himself in, never mind about actually do any work.
Four times. I tried to call him four times during the course of that day but he never answered, every call went to voicemail. I tried texting his cell phone but that was no better. Right before I headed out to my last meeting of the I gave Dannielle a quick call to to see how she and Chris were doing. I barely recognized the voice that answered and the only reply to my questions was a garbled, “Go away.”
That night came home to find the refrigerator door wide open and a month’s worth of groceries either half eaten or left to spoil. Timothy was laid out in the couch, stains radiating out from him. The TV was turned to a channel that used to show nature documentaries but was now nothing but wall to wall reality shows about rednecks. I knew for a fact Timothy hated both.
He smiled thickly at me, “M’sorry. M’sorry.”
“What’s wrong?” I knelt beside him and stroked his forehead. This flesh felt like the skin of pudding, “What happened to you?”
“Had to be there… m’sorry.”
The phone started ringing. A premonition made me want to ignore it but I didn’t believe in premonitions then.
“Hello? I said.
A watery voice said back,“Tim?”
No one called my husband Tim except for me, and even then only when we were making love. He’d always been a Timothy, ever since childhood. “Who is this?” I asked.
“M’sorry Alice. M’sorry. Chris died. Didn’t want to… Face wouldn’t forgive the mirror. Shotgun. M’sorry. Tim? Almost time to go. Go home.”
“Danielle?” I couldn’t recognize the voice. I’m still not sure it really was her but who else could have been?
The voice whispered, “The Eyestalk Kid…”
Timothy gurgled a reply from his spot on the couch, “Allelujah!” Then he turned onto his side and vomited, with each heave of his stomach he called “Allelujah!”
I wanted to call 911 but my fingers wouldn’t move, not when I knew the worst hadn’t happened yet.
Another premonition.
His stomach emptied my husband rolled himself off the couch landing on his stomach with a grunt of relief. His back was swollen and bowed outwards.
“Allelujah!” the voice from the phone said.
Then he put his face down in the puddle of his own sick and started slurping. With every slurp the lump on his back quivered.
“Stop it!” I screamed at him, “For God’s sake stop it!”
And he did, turning towards me to show a face that had become a mask of bile and eyes that were even more askew than before. “M’sorry.” he said again.
Then his eyes changed. The eyes I had looked into with love and anger and indifference so many times over the last seven years began to shift, slipping out of his skull on stems of writhing, pink muscle.
The last thing saw, before I fainted, was his gaping eyelids, brimming with tears. “Love you.” he said.
When I woke up hours later Timothy was gone. He’d left everything behind, his wallet, his clothes, his wedding ring. I called the police and found out they were already coming to see me. Chris was dead. They weren’t sure if it was suicide or foul play and Danielle was nowhere to be found.
They police didn’t want to hear about Dr. Tarr and Mr. Fether and the Eyestalk Kid. They’d already decided for themselves what had happened. It was an affair, my husband and my best friend. Chris had found out and it had driven him to suicide. I’d found out too and my broken heart had sent me into a delusional state.
Now it’s a year later and the Altamont Fair is back in full swing and this letter was supposed to reveal everything. It was supposed to tell you why the black tent might have been harder to find this year even though it has almost doubled in size. I was going to tell you what I saw when I paid my hundred dollars to see the Eyestalk Kid in his Aerobionic chamber. I wanted to write down word for word what he said and reveal to you he rites my body performed as my mind screamed for it to stop.
But now I know I can’t, it was hard enough for me just to write all this. I have to hit the keyboard of my laptop with bruising force just to make the letters appear. My fingers won’t hold their shape and my eyes can’t focus on what is right in front of me.
M’sorry.
Saturday, February 21, 2015
TALES FROM THE ODDSIDE: A Touch Of Red
TALES FROM THE ODDSIDE
A Touch Of Red
by
Al Bruno III
original version published by Eden Studios
My husband and I couldn’t leave the city, we weren’t allowed.
We both tested positive for the Red Virus. That gave us two years to live, three tops. In other countries the infected were being executed, killed in the streets. Here in enlightened America things were different, the President insisted on treating the infected ‘humanely’. Humane or not, only citizens with a clean bill of health got to go to the safe zones in the Midwest. The rest of us were forced to stay in the cities on the coast, observed by scientists in hazmat suits and protected by soldiers that wouldn’t look us in the eye.
When I think of what the disease will do to me- somehow transform me into something not quite human any more. I’ve seen the videos of what the press has dubbed ‘monsters’. I’ve seen what they do.
A few weeks ago the government relocated all of us to a series of high rise tenements on the East Side. They said that they would be able to defend us more easily this way. The apartments here are larger and nicer than anything we could have afforded in our old life, so I tried to make the best of it. My husband Brian however, insisted that we were only there so that when the time came they could liquidate us more easily. He blames me for this, he thinks that I brought the disease home because I worked in a hospital, but I was in the billing office! He was just as likely to be the one that touched an unseen speck of dried blood somewhere, somehow.
I liked to think he still loved me but he’d stopped saying it, and he wouldn’t touch me, not even in passing. We didn’t sleep together, I stayed in one bedroom, he stayed in another.
Not that anyone around here ever really slept that much. All of us, the scientists, the soldiers, the infected, stole catnaps whenever we could in the mornings and afternoons.
There was no rest at night, the night belonged to the monsters. They knew right where to find us, something about the infection calls to them. They howled at the barricades from sundown to sunup. Sometimes they would manage to break through the fortifications. Then the howls would be drowned out with gunfire and order would be restored by morning.
I think that’s why we started having the parties. It wasn’t a conscious decision you understand, its just that the nights were too long and terrible to experience alone.
At first we got together in little groups, no more than five at a time. We didn’t want to make our protectors uneasy, but as our hopes dwindled our gatherings got more elaborate. Soon all thirty or so of us were congregating nightly in the penthouse. We would cook, and drink and laugh and try to ignore the horrors going on out in the streets and inside our bodies. Brian was always there but he would just sit and sulk out on the balcony, drinking until he passed out, leaving me to carry him back to our apartment at dawn.
One nice thing about our keepers, they were pretty damn generous with the booze and food. I guess it was better to have us fat and happy than terrified and ready to riot.
Tonight’s gathering was going along nicely. Someone had found up a karaoke machine and we were all four sheets to the wind, doing our best to belt out the songs of our glory days.
All except for Brian of course. He was out on the balcony, occasionally I would glance over and catch him glaring reproachfully at us. I kept trying to get him to join in or just return one of my smiles. It was hopeless.
About halfway though a rambling version of ‘Paradise by The Dashboard Lights’ Brian started screaming. He was pointing and gesturing to the east. I ran out to the balcony to see what was wrong.
Monsters, thousands of them. The streets were clogged with them. Walls of ruined flesh moving towards us. The soldiers were shooting at them, they were using machine guns and grenades but for every monster they blew to pieces four more stepped into its place.
I reached for Brian’s hand. He pulled away, saying something ugly under his breath. I don’t know. I went crazy. I was afraid and I wanted someone to touch me and if he wouldn’t…
Next thing I knew I had the karaoke microphone in my hand and I said something like, “Let’s live tonight ‘cause we’ll all be dead by morning!”
Then I grabbed the nearest man and kissed him hard. At first he pulled away, then he pressed against me. We fell back onto an overstuffed chair, pulling at each other’s clothes.
It was like a floodgate had opened. We were joined by another couple on the floor and then another. It was surreal, it was an orgy We were all trying to shut out the world and for a while it did.
After a while we exhausted ourselves and the sounds of the slaughter going on outside reached us again. Brian was gone. For a moment I gloried in the thought of how the sight of me in the arms of others must have burned him. Then another thought occurred to me. It was enough to send me running half-dressed down the stairs to our apartment
I found Brian on his bed, passed out and barely breathing. Blood had begun to leak from his pores. He was changing. You could see it happening. It was like an army of maggots was running wild under his skin.
There are procedures for the final stages, they had been drilled into us every morning, there were posters on the walls reminding us. We were told to watch each other for signs of the blood sweat- if you see something say something. You call for the scientists, and they call for the soldiers. The infected are taken away for one last examination and then it’s cremation by flame thrower.
I didn’t do any of that. I laid down beside him instead.
I’m waiting now, I’ve been waiting for almost two hours. The battle is still going on outside but I could care less who’s winning. The Red Virus will be done with its work soon and what sits up beside me won’t quite be Brian anymore but he’s going to touch me.
One last time.
Friday, October 31, 2014
Uncle Al's Halloween Hoedown Day Thirty-One: PRECIOUS MACHINE
Precious Machine
by
Al Bruno III
Tuesday, October 28, 2014
Uncle Al's Halloween Hoedown Day Twenty-Eight: LIVING DEAD NERD
LIVING DEAD NERD
by
Al Bruno III
I
can’t really blame what happened on some kind of horror movie outbreak
or evil spell. I just woke up one morning and I was dead.
Dead, totally dead but walking around, no pulse but a head still full of Star Trek
trivia. I was 16 years old and it looked like I wasn’t going to be
getting any older. So weird. I’m still not sure what I am really. Am I
some kind of a zombie or vampire or something? Has this ever happened to
anyone else? Even Wikipedia couldn’t tell me, maybe when I’m done here
I’ll make an entry.
My complexion had always been pale and my parents never listened to me really so the whole I can’t go to school because I’m only breathing out of habit. excuse didn’t fly so I still had to shamble on out to catch the bus for school.
The
ride to Allen Palmer High School was always rough, insults and blunt
objects get thrown at me not matter how close I sit to the bus driver.
That day was no different, so I guess we can add dead people to the
things that metalhead stoners have no respect for.
Sometimes
the shit they pulled would make me get angry or even cry but that day
none of it bugged me. Of course it made the shop class rejects even
madder when I didn’t react to them. Finally a textbook hit me in the
back of the head and I turned in my seat to glare at them.
Except
I wasn’t really glaring on purpose, I thought I looked surprised
because I was trying to figure why in the Hell one of those idiots would
have a calculus textbook. Still it shut them up for the rest of the bus
ride and they left me alone from then on.
School
wasn’t much of anything, I kind of just went through the motions but
that’s sophomore year for you isn’t it? It’s like the middle film in the
Lord of the Rings trilogy, not good, not bad just kinda killing time until the ending.
I
wasn’t sure what my ending was going to be now though, was I going to
rot away and fall apart? I didn’t know, I still don’t but it doesn’t bug
me much. After you’re dead what’s the worst that could happen?
The next week went on like nothing had happened, it was school, home and then World of Warcraft.
Of course now I didn’t have to worry about bathroom breaks messing up my raids.
Occasionally
I would get hungry- not the kind of hungry you know. It was like my
bones were aching, like I could feel them going soft. It was a hunger
that fish sticks and fries couldn’t touch. Thankfully my neighborhood is
full of cats, some of the stupidest cats you’ve ever seen.
And plump too, like those little chickens they serve at weddings.
By the second week of my new ‘life’ things started to change, I smelled a little but it was nothing that my Dad’s Hi Karate
couldn’t hide. People started treating me differently, even when I
smiled I had this look that weirded people out. I told the gym teacher I
wasn’t going to play dodgeball, I was going to the library and he just
let me. Amazing!
My
skin cleared up but my grades stayed the same. You jocks even stopped
calling me ‘Timmy the Tard’ not that I cared anymore. One guy did pick a
fight with me, some seven foot tall freshman. He punched me a few
times, it didn’t much hurt and for once I hit back. One smack and he was
crying on the floor. Didn’t know my own strength. I sure as Hell got
called into the principal’s office for that but after he realized I was
staring at his carotid artery and licking my lips he cut his speech
about responsibility and citizenship short and just suspended me for the
a week.
Not
that I cared. My Mom hit the roof when she found out, my Dad actually
seemed kind of proud of me for once. One of the neighbor’s dogs went
missing that night, I felt like celebrating.
Since
I was suspended my mom gave me punishment chores to keep me busy while
she and Dad were at work. That was ok by me. I liked the physical
activity it kept me from just sitting around the house because when
you’re dead that’s what you do- just sit around a lot. You don’t get
bored, you don’t think, you just are. You kind of let things happen to
you.
What was it my Aunt said? Let go and let God.
Not
that God was something I worried about much either anymore. I do wonder
sometimes if Jesus was just a nerd like me, if he was just someone that
kept having to swallow abuse and insults until he just choked on it.
Of course he got cool powers out of the deal. All I got was this thousand yard stare.
And I got laid too.
Seriously. It was the girl next door. Well, across the street.
You
don’t have anything to say about that? Well, anyway, she’s this gothy
chick named Stephanie but she wants everyone to call her ‘Serpentina’.
She doesn’t go to school anymore. They expelled her for spraying the
tampon dispenser in the girls’ room with lighter fluid and setting it on
fire. I had been taking out the trash and I had just kind of zoned out.
I didn’t even notice when it started raining. Stephanie- I mean
Serpentina- came over and started talking to me, talking about how much
she liked standing in the rain too and how I sure had changed. That
never happened before.
She
invited me in to talk but the next thing I knew we were making out on
her parent’s couch. They were at work too. I was already hard, mostly
because I had died with one of those piss erections I guess. She starts
taking off her clothes, showing me all the places she’s going to get
tattooed and pierced as soon as she’s eighteen.
Girl’s gonna be busy.
Now it didn’t feel like I expected, mostly because I was dead but I got off in other ways. She was so warm, I didn’t realize how cold I was until I had her on top of me. I let her do the driving, she kissed me and moved my hands to wherever she wanted to be touched. Then she guided me into her.
So warm.
And since we’re both guys here let me tell you that I was doing the
full on zombie groan if you know what I mean. You know what I mean?
Serpentina was going crazy too, she kept complimenting me on my staying
power. I think we could have still been at it if I hadn’t faked and
orgasm and told her I’d call her later.
Bet you thought I was gonna kill her and eat her or something right?
Well
are you out of your mind? She’s crazy about me, and she told me she
wanted to introduce me to this girlfriend of hers named Umbra. And it
was the way she said girlfriend that has me thinking. I may be dead but
I’m not stupid.
Of
course all that exertion has me tired out and that’s where you come in
you big broad shouldered jock you. I knew you couldn’t resist the chance
to follow me here to ‘teach me a lesson’ after what I did to that
mongoloid brother of yours. The dogs and the cats went neck first but
since you pulled down my shorts in gym class
I’m going to start with your guts.
Scream all you want. No one is gonna hear you.
Man, I always wanted to say that.
Friday, October 24, 2014
Uncle Al's Halloween Hoedown Day Twenty-Four: THE SAME DEEP WATERS AS YOU
The Same Deep Waters As You
by
Al Bruno III
by
Al Bruno III
The sound of the ocean crashing up on the rocks. If I close my eyes it sounds like applause. The storm has left the beach is deserted, but she said she'd be here.
She promised.
We only got here a few days ago, me, my Mom and Dad and my brother Leon, who's a year and a half older than me. The car ride to Cape Cod had been long and everyone was in a bad mood. Leon especially, he started ragging on me, waving his scholarship in my nose. Like I'd want to go that feakin' jock factory anyway. It went on for hours and hours and just like Dr. Patterson said I didn't answer him back. I just agreed and tried to change the subject but I lost my temper and started to give it back. All it takes to piss Leon off is to mention those three magic letters D-W-I.
Mom of course chose that moment to break us up.
After about half a day in the car we reached the cabin. Ordinarily Dad celebrated his son's victories by trips down to Lake George, so-called fishing trips that were actually excuses for drinking and whoring.
But since his beloved all-star was heading off to college in the fall he rented a cabin near the bay side of the cape and the whole family was going along for the trip. No matter how much I'd tried to weasel out of it, Mom and Dad still made me go. No way they were leaving their sweet little darling daughter alone to get into god-knows what kind of trouble.
He'd rented the cabin sight-unseen. I remember how proud he was about that, sight-unseen, he actually thought he was getting a deal.
Of course when we got there he understood. The place was a wreck, it looked like the kind of place the killer from the Friday the 13th movies would go. And the inside smelled like mildew and cat pee. Mom suggested we go find a hotel room, Dad of course would have none of it-
"This is already paid for! It's a roof over our heads isn't it? It's not so bad, besides after you girls clean it up a little-"
"Us girls?" I dropped my bags on the floor, "I thought we were here on vacation. Or is that just for you and your son?"
Leon rolled his eyes and Dad looked ready to turn purple. Mom tried to get in the middle, "What Rachel meant was that we didn't come all this way just-"
"Oh, I know what she meant all right." Dad looked right over Mom and glared at me. I could feel the I work all day. speech coming on line, "I work all day so you and your Goddamn mother can have nice things and all you give me is grief."
"But Dad-"
"Honey, it wouldn't be so bad if we worked together..." Good old Mom and her spine of jelly.
With that Leon and Dad turned to go, if we were lucky they wouldn't be back until after dinner but of course, Dad being Dad he couldn't leave without a little stinger.
"Besides Rachel, a little work might help you slim down a little."
I don't even remember storming out of that rat hole cabin or if anyone called out after me. All I know is that I ran until I found myself at the beach.
I'd never seen the ocean before, except in movies, TV and books.
*
It's just so... so huge in real life. You look at it and you realize that you're only seeing one tiny part of it. There were birds everywhere, big ugly seagulls and tiny little nervous-looking birds that divided most of their time between sifting in the mud and running in terror at the slightest motion. Tiny shells cracked underfoot. Slipping off my shoes I waded into the surf. This was the closest I ever got to swimming. To swim you have to own a swimsuit and swimsuits and me don't exactly get along.
My weight has always been a problem for me. I've been dieting since I was eight, well trying to diet anyway. I was heavy for a girl my age, too heavy, and it made me look years older. Leon still cackled over the time that I'd been mistaken for his mother. The water here was calm like a swimming pool. I could see my reflection in the water, for as long as I can remember I've hated my reflection but as I waded I watched it, the way the ripples pulled me apart and put me back together again.
It was like I was hypnotized or something. I didn't even look up once until a splashing sound distracted me. That's when I realized it was twilight, that my reflection was gone and the ocean was a bruised purple color. The color of a grape popsicle. I heard a woman laughing somewhere nearby, probably getting a real laugh at the fat girl on the beach.
I didn't have a key, so when I got back to cabin I had to knock on the door. It flew open and my Mother was screaming in my face, "Where were you? We were worried sick?"
"I was just looking around." I answered with a shrug.
Leon and Dad were sitting at the rickety table, a plate of bones in front of each of them, an empty bucket of chicken lying in the trash near them, "Well you missed dinner."
"Yeah Sis." Leon said, "That's not like you."
"Up yours!" was all I could think to say.
With that Dad was up and on his feet, his breath was sour and there were shreds of chicken in his teeth, "I didn't bring you up here so you could screw around and do whatever you want to do! We are here to vacation as a family!"
"Look I just-"
He poked me in the chest, just hard enough to hurt but not hard enough to leave a mark, "Do you understand me?"
I gritted my teeth and said, "Yes."
It turned out that Dad had bought an entire extra bucket of chicken just for me. I told him I wasn't hungry but after everyone had gone to bed; I ate the entire thing, hating myself with every bite.
*
The next day we went to an amusement park, as a family. Of course I'm too big to fit onto a lot of the rides so I spent most of the time on the sidelines being miserable. I looked at them and though about what a perfect little family they made, or they would make if I wasn't around.
We got back to the cabin late into the afternoon. Leon asked if he could have the car to go and meet some kids he'd met at the amusement park. Dad threw him the keys. I started to say something about Leon's suspended license but then thought better of it.
Instead, after the Golden Boy had taken off I asked if I could go back to the beach. Dad made me sweat it out for a few minutes but then he let me go. Mom slipped me a few bucks in case I wanted some ice cream. Then Dad said I didn't need any ice cream and the old fight between them started to head into high gear.
I high-tailed it out of there and found my way back to the beach. I walked along the shore, skimming stones and pocketing interesting seashells. I found my way to place where an outcropping of rocks jutted out and up. It made a natural pier. After a few minutes climbing I made my way up and onto it and I sat on the edge and dangled my feet off. The waterline was about five feet below me. For a crazy moment I wondered how deep it was. If I jumped would there be enough to break my fall? If I died here, would my family even care? Or would they be relived?
Would they make jokes as they searched for a Plus-Size coffin?
Her body broke the surface of the water below me, I hadn't seen anyone swimming down there. Her hair was dark, her face belonged on the cover of a beauty magazine. She was wearing nothing but a white blouse that was two sizes too large for her. The wet fabric revealed a body that was like something out of Leon's wet dreams. I wanted to drop a rock on her.
She noticed me, her eyes were blue like the ocean. "I didn't see you up there." She smiled up at me, "I hope I'm not bothering you."
I shrugged, "It's a free country."
"I'm Nannete." She said as she stepped out onto the beach and found her way up onto the rocks.
"Did you lose your swimsuit?"
"I always say," Her smile was playful, "that life's too short to worry if someone's going to see you naked."
"That's easy for you to say." I was surprised at how bitter I sounded.
She knelt beside me, her face even with mine. She looked like one of those china dolls. Her lips parted, I thought she was going to say something but instead she kissed me. Electric shocks ran through me. I felt numb. I felt sick. I felt warm all over.
When the kiss broke I tried to speak but I couldn't. She smiled and dove off the rock-pier. I tried to shout a warning but I was still kinda dazed. I didn't even hear her hit the water.
I got up fast as I could and ran back to the cabin. Leon had a bunch of friends over there with him, they looked at me funny as I ran up the walk. I ran my hands over my lips, fearing that Nannete had left lipstick smeared there. One of the girls, she looked drunk or stoned or both, she waved and gave me a sarcastic, "Hi Rachel, I'm Delores. Your brother told us all about you."
"Really?" I said, "Did he tell you about the man he put in the hospital when he was driving around drunk?"
With that I stormed into the cabin and nothing my Mother or Father had to say to me mattered much. Nannete was all I could think about.
*
A sound just outside the cabin woke me up, I went to the cracked window and gazed out. The sun wasn't even up yet. I wondered if Leon had some little bimbette in his room.
The laughter filled the air, surrounding me. I recognized it now, I'd heard it my first night here.
It was Nannete and she was somewhere close.
Was she looking for me? I threw on the clothes I had worn the day before and, after cautiously slipping out of the cabin, I ran outside.
I couldn't see her anywhere, but I heard her voice. She was singing in some foreign language, it sounded like something out of a NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC special. I followed the sound.
Before long I was back at the beach, back at the rock outcropping. It was half-submerged under the water, the tide had come in. Cold water washed over my feet as I walked along the pier. It was like her voice was coming out of the ocean.
At the edge of the outcropping I knelt where she had knelt. The sky was dark and cloudy and I could barely see my hand in front of my face.
Somehow I lost my balance. Before I fell in I heard my father's voice in my head- ...stupid, clumsy, fat...
I don't know if I hit my head or something as I fell but right after I hit the water everything went black.
*
A soft hand was stroking my face when I woke up.
"Nannete." I said
Her only reply was to give me water from a cup. We were in a cave. Candles ringed the walls.
There were all these strange symbols painted on the walls. My clothes were spread across the floor, slowly drying. Humiliated I reached up, tried to cover myself. "You've nothing to hide." She slipped out of her white blouse, "Neither do I."
My heart started racing again. Any moment I was sure I was going to burst into tears, "Where am I?"
"You're safe." She huddled close, her eyes were shining in the candlight.
"But where-"
Nanette silenced me with a kiss, her lips were cool. "Answers are no comfort." she breathed.
Each of the kisses she spread out across my body felt like a raindrop. Dizziness washed over me, it was like I was on an elevator that wouldn't stop going up.
Then out of nowhere she started running her nails hard across my chest and belly. I wanted to escape. I never wanted to leave. It was like she was taking me, making me hers. Blood welled up from the cuts and scrapes. She started kissing me again, her lips smearing the red. Her murmuring filled the cavern but I couldn't understand what she was saying.
Sobs shook me as she alternated between caressing and tearing at my skin. I don't now how long it went on for but when it stopped I felt anguished. She raised herself up over me, swallowing me with her shadow. "Every transformation begins with one tiny change."
Sitting up, I kissed her hard on the mouth, losing myself in her. I felt lightheaded, like I was going to pass out.
Maybe I did pass out, all I know is that when I came to my senses I was lying flat on my back on the rocky outcropping. It was raining hard and I was soaking wet. My brother was calling my name. Moaning, my skin still tingled where Nanette had touched me.
Looking down over the edge of the rock I could see the tide had gone out. Leon was walking along the surf, looking wet and miserable and calling my name with a pissed off expression. How long had I been gone for?
"Leon?" For a hilarious moment he was utterly bewildered, his square head looking back and forth to try and find me. "Up here!"
When he finally found me he just started screaming up at me, "You are in big trouble! Dad is seriously pissed!"
"I just went for a walk."
"A walk? You've been gone all day!" He waded out into the water to get a better look at me, the water was up to his knees.
I glared down at him, "I lost track of time. So what?"
"You're out of your mind!" The expression on his face was like he was looking at something disgusting, "Delores told me she saw you up here!"
Bile rose up, leaving a sour taste in my mouth, "She saw me, so what?"
"She saw what you were doing! She told me-"
A stone the size of a bowling ball crashed down on Leon, crumpling his skull. He collapsed face down into the water surf, blood clouding the seawater.
I scrambled to my feet to find Nannette standing there.
"You killed him." I said.
She nodded in agreement, "Do you care?"
I know I should have felt something but instead I just sank into her arms. "What am I going to do?"
"That's your choice."
I want to be with you." I said, "I want to be with you forever."
The rain pelted us, the clouds were getting darker. It didn't matter, I felt safe as a baby in her arms, "Then join us."
"What about Leon?"
Nanette released me, and stepped to the edge "The sea takes care of it's own."
"I'm ready then."
"No." she shook her head, "You must sever your ties with this world before you can join mine."
A cold determination flooded me, "I understand."
"Go then, and return here when you have finished." She kissed my forehead and then dove into the sea.
I turned and started walking back to the cabin. After a few minutes I turned back to look for Nanette. Through the storm I saw four hazy gray figures standing by Leon's body. I assumed they were the police but as I watched lifted it up and carried it into the sea.
*
My Dad started screaming at me from the very moment I stepped into the cabin, mother was silent and reproachful. The tingling I had felt on my chest and belly was worsening, it was almost painful. I pretended to listen as I went over to the kitchenette. It didn't worry them in the least to see me reach into one of the cabinets and pull out a steak knife. I wonder if they thought I was going to make myself a sandwich, I wonder even now what they saw when they looked at me.
Of course Dad was hot on my heels, at moments like this he can never resist giving me a hard poke with his finger. I counted his footsteps on the cabin floor. When he was right behind me I stabbed. The knife was dull but my strength was more than enough to make the skin of his neck dimple and split.
His scream was ragged and his mouth was wide enough for me to see the end of the blade poking onto his throat. Somewhere far away, Mom was screaming.
I withdrew the knife from the man at my feet and stabbed down a few more times just to be sure. After all, I had made a promise. Mom didn't try to run when I came for her, she was almost resigned as I slit her throat.
*
There was enough kerosene left in the cabin's rusty heater to get a good fire started. I watched the cabin burn for a little while, watched the flames licking at the roof to struggle and sputter at the harsh downpour. I felt nothing; I hadn't felt anything at all since I left Nanette's arms.
Then I came back here and waited. I lost myself in the sound of the ocean washing up on the rocks. If you close your eyes it sounds like applause. The storm has left the beach is deserted, but she said she'd be here.
She promised.
The tingling under my skin was painful. I tore at the white blouse I wore and scratched madly at the scabs. They broke easily. The flesh beneath them was gray and slimy.
"Rachel."
Standing on the rocky outcropping gave me a full view of the ocean and the darkening clouds. I couldn't see her but I could feel her, she was close and she was waiting.
I looked down, the tide was still out but I understood now that the water has always been deep enough. I stripped out of my clothes and leapt into the ocean to join her.
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