Meanwhile in Scarfolk...

From SCARFOLK COUNCIL

Death is Like a Happy Balloon by Dr Cassandra Henge was one in series of books published by Bullyrag Books who specialised in introducing children to alarming topics without alleviating any of their readers' fears. Other books in the series included Totalitarianism is Like a Merry Smile, Slaughterhouses are Like a Paddling Pool and Organ Failure is Like Fudge...

The Horned Deceiver needed a better agent.

From SCARFOLK COUNCIL

As followers of the traditional state religion dwindled, a gap opened in the faith market. The Horned Deceiver exploited this by targeting the lower middle-class, under-12 demographic, relying initially on playground word-of-mouth. By 1973 he had become so popular that he produced a successful range of merchandising including lunchboxes, bed sheets and wallpaper, plush dolls and black candles made from human tallow. He was a regular guest on local radio and on television where he appeared on celebrity panel quiz shows such as Celebrity Squares and Blankety Blank...

Ah the wonders of a Scarfolk childhood...

From SCARFOLK COUNCIL
DIY was all the rage in the 1970s, but in Scarfolk it wasn't just limited to household repairs and interior decoration. Childless, sterilised adults, many of whom had been specially bred for civic or sacrificial service, decided that unauthorised parenting might prove to be a nice hobby or weekend pastime...

The Scarfolk Council will educate your eyes and ears- whether you like it or not!

From SCARFOLK COUNCIL

In 1971 a local government survey revealed that the citizens of Scarfolk were, by and large, content. This was of great concern to the council which worried that its people risked developing self-confidence - perhaps even dignity - and worse that they might even have false hopes for a brighter future...

Library music is often used in television, radio and film productions. This low-budget, pre-written music is intended to convey particular moods to the audience. Entire LPs, named by theme and often in multiple volumes, are dedicated to a wide variety of moods and concepts such as 'business dynamism', 'modern leisure', 'relaxed terror', 'perky dismay' and 'unspecified uncertainty'.

THE SCARFOLK COUNCIL has some books that politicians are still using today!

From THE SCARFOLK COUNCIL

Scarfolk is rife with mysterious presences and natal truancies!

From WELCOME TO SCARFOLK

Scarfolk Council is brought to you by the letters IIIIIEEEEEE!!!!!

From SCARFOLK COUNCIL

In the first twenty minutes alone, two thousand children perished and the programme's producers received upwards of fourteen complaints from disgruntled parents and sweatshop owners...

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More recommended reading from THE SCARFOLK COUNCIL!

From SCARFOLK COUNCIL

Something tells me that Christmas in Scarfolk is unique...

From SCARFOLK COUNCIL

The most desired model kits were those based on popular childrens' television programmes, one of which was a show called Deformed Anonymous Infant Demon, or DAID for short. DAID was a crime-fighting eight year old with a difference. He had 4 arms and one leg because his psychic mother heavily smoked and drank during trances while she was pregnant. For some reason, this also made DAID a demon...

Why not jam some SCARFOLK COUNCIL into your ears?

From SCARFOLK COUNCIL

In 1977 Scarfolk Clinic conducted sleep experiments on a local boy known only as 'Patient #249'. He suffered from severe nightmares and developed a rare condition known as 'manifest hypnagogia'.

Symptoms include the physical manifestation of hallucinations that sufferers endure between sleep and waking states. For example, Patient #249 frequently awoke to find, sitting on the end of his bed, a syphilitic, deformed Victorian clown eating trifle and pig's liver pâté. At other times, a confused sewing machine salesman from the Midlands would appear. Patient #249's parents found this inconvenient...