Greetings and salutations, friends! Once again I, the Duke of DVD, arrive just in the nick of time to rescue you from your pathetic, stillborn lives by bringing you the finest in cinematic treasures. I arrive as a shadow, suddenly falling across you as you sit at your breakfast table, shoveling Krispy Kreme's into your gaping maw whilst you snort and giggle at Kathy Lee's Crypt Keeper-visage on the telly. You turn to see what is interrupting your reverie and see me, holding a copy of Rollergator. You loose a scream, spraying donut particles across your moldy trailer. A sudden acrid stench pervades the room, causing us both to recoil in horror, and we both know you have befouled yourself with fear...
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