I’m writing this to you from the comfort of one of our fine hospitals; the long ugly cut on my arm has been stitched up and the painkillers are just starting to kick in. Before let that happen I want to finish this post. I want you to know the final fate of Prisoner #C44031.
As you know it has been over three weeks since she escaped from the local lockup in an incident as bloody as it was improbable. The manhunt for the lady in question has been widespread in its scope and incompetence. The dragnet extends all the way to the Vermont border, too bad the only notable thing the police have managed to do so far is panic and shoot up a car full of teenagers out for a joy ride. Well, that and to arrest yours truly for loitering around a crime scene.
Thing is, for a homicidal maniac Prisoner #C44031 sure has been keeping a low profile. No fresh kills, no letters to the media, not even a sighting at Arby’s.
You know they say love makes the world go around but bribery is the thing that keeps it spinning smoothly. Bribery is what got me a copy of the document you’re about to read. The same document that helped me figure out where she was hiding.
The police will have found her body by now and no, I had nothing to do with it. I’m a blogger not a vigilante.
How did I guess where she was? You see there had been a break in at the Unique Army-Navy Surplus shop on Central Avenue. Money had been stolen from the cash register, some camouflage clothes and a very special knife, a Nepalese Kukri. If you haven’t seen one it looks like something out of a Sinbad movie, it almost looks like a sickle but the blade is angled instead of curved.
Now there is a place near the Unique Army-Navy Surplus Store, it had been a comic book store but the owners had supplemented their income by growing and selling marijuana. The police had closed the operation down over a year ago but the place was still vacant. Every once in a while they have to chase squatters out of the place.
That’s where Prisoner #C44031 had been camped out all this time. For the record she was dying when I got there. What do I think happened?
I think some idiot - some other idiot- wandered up there and disturbed her. Had she heard him on the stairs? Probably. The need to use that Kukri must have been driving her crazy.
Well, crazier anyway.
She must have jumped at him, slashing and screaming. There must have been a struggle and when it was over she’d stabbed herself in the gut. The idiotic intruder must have taken off, he sure wasn’t there when I showed up. Once again I want that on the record.
I found her staring at the blade jutting out of her stomach, her breathing was shallow and wet. Prisoner #C44031 was smiling; that smile never left her face, not even when she grabbed the handle of the blade with both hands and pushed it deeper. I know it’s insane but I don’t think I’ll ever be as happy as she was in that moment.
Brian Foster out.