ENNISKILLEN, Northern Ireland - A Northern Irish man's bizarre plan to get stinking rich by turning his poop into gold has landed him in jail.
Paul Moran, 30, thought his bathroom breaks would make him flush with cash if he kept his own waste and heated it to produce the precious metal, at his government-subsidized apartment in Enniskillen, in the province's southeast.
However, the Belfast Telegraph reported his bizarre plan turned out to be a waste of time when he caused £3,000 ($4,735) worth of damage after placing his own feces on an electric heater in July.
Moran, whose lawyer described him as a man of "considerable intellectual ability," will now spend the next three months looking at prison bars, rather than the bullion bars he was hoping to create.
Judge David McFarland said Wednesday, "It was an interesting experiment to fulfill the alchemist's dream, but wasn't going to succeed..."